Chapter 33
I Just Got You Back
It’s Sunday evening, the first full day we haven’t all stayed over at Liz’s.
It’s funny how I miss her already. I don’t know about my brother or Ryder, but I liked having all of us under one roof; eating breakfast and dinner together, riding to school together like old times.
Our families were cool about us sleeping at Liz's. Well, Elijah’s dad wasn’t.
Elijah left every night around ten to head back to Highland but would meet back up with us after school.
Because he was staying late at Liz’s every night, he has skipped meeting me for runs the past few mornings.
Just like we did before, Ry, Jay, and I sneaked inside Liz’s bedroom every night once Daniel retired to his room; all of us piling in her bed with her.
Our parents, Brea, and Jamie came to visit Liz yesterday, and Daniel invited everyone to stay for a backyard cookout.
Liz played her guitar for us. Listening to Liz play brought back a lot of memories for me and the guys.
After putting up with us invading his house for days, Daniel finally kicked us out this morning.
No more sleepovers. Not for me or Jay, anyway.
I'm pretty sure Ry will be sneaking back over tonight. I think Jay knows it too, as he's been practically fuming all day. He and Ryder have called a truce ever since Liz got out of the hospital, but I don’t think that’s going to last much longer.
The brewing storm is about to rain down and I’ll be tossed between the two of them in a boat with no paddles.
When it comes down to it, will I back my brother or my best friend?
I guess the answer to my question comes down to Liz.
I will more than likely back whatever she wants.
And right now, she wants to be with Ryder.
I’m still torn, though, because Jay is my twin and he’s hurting.
Elijah and I watch from the couch as Jay restlessly paces around the family room, waiting for Ry.
Ry texted us an hour ago saying he was coming by to hang out for a bit, and I texted him back to warn him about Jay’s mood.
My eyes track Jay and I know things are about to go down.
I can feel it. Elijah feels it, too. But I’m not going to sit idly by and watch my brother ambush my best friend. So I wait and I watch.
Jay stops pacing and I sit up straighter when we hear a key turn in the front door. We’ve all had keys to each other's houses since we were kids and let ourselves in without knocking.
The thud of my pulse feels like a doomsday clock counting down. Five… the turn of a lock. Four… the opening of the door. Three… the sound of the door closing. Two… Ryder’s footsteps on the laminate wood floor. One.
“You and I need to talk,” Jay demands.
Ryder stops in front of the open archway between the kitchen and the family room. He shoves his hands in his denim pockets. “Say what you need to say, Jay.”
Jay doesn’t say anything. Before Elijah and I know what’s happening, Jay flies forward and smashes his fist into Ryder’s face.
Ry stumbles to the side but doesn’t go down, a trickle of blood oozing from his cut lip.
Elijah and I are up and pushing between the two of them before Jay can get off another shot.
Jay’s surprise attack helps me make my choice. I stand in front of Ryder and face my brother. “Stop, Jay.”
Jay tries to push past me, but Elijah checks him.
Ryder remains calm and acts like nothing happened.
He causally walks into the kitchen to get a chilled bottled of water out of the fridge.
He places it to his mouth and leans back against the stainless-steel appliance.
I’m thankful that Mom and Dad aren’t here. They're off grocery shopping.
“That’s the only shot you’re getting, Jay. I hope it was worth it,” Ryder tells him. “You said you wanted to talk, so talk.”
Elijah softens his grip on Jay’s arm. “You good now?” he asks him before releasing his hold completely. Elijah stands beside my brother, shoulder to shoulder. I guess he has chosen sides as well, and I scowl at my boyfriend. He and I are going to have our own talk later tonight.
Jay wipes his knuckles down his jeans. I can tell that he hurt his hand punching Ry.
“You’re a back-stabbing jerk, you know that Ry?” Jay spits out.
“You’re kidding me, right?” Ryder scoffs in disbelief. “Not too long ago, I poured my heart out to you about my feelings for Elizabeth, and you ran off in the night and stole her away before I had could get a chance to tell her how I felt.”
“I couldn’t steal something from you that was never yours to begin with. She chose me, Ryder. Not you.”
Ryder’s eyes narrow, their usual light brown color charring to an ominous black. “And now she’s choosing me,” he replies gravely.
Jay takes a menacing step towards Ry but stops himself. I’m afraid of the half smirk that forms on his face and I know he’s about to go for the jugular.
“I made Liz a promise, and I will not go back on that promise. But know this—she will never be truly yours. I was her first love. Her first kiss. Her first time.”
Ryder physically flinches as Jay’s words hit him like a literal slap to the face.
Jay pauses, spearing Ryder with a gaze full of spite.
“Her memories are coming back. She’s remembering.
And there is no kiss, no touch, no word you will ever give that will prevent her from running back to me the minute her memories return.
It’s only a matter of time. So enjoy your second chance while you have it, knowing that I’ll always be right here waiting for her to come back to me. ”
I’m floored by what Jayson says. My brother may be an act-first-and-think-later kind of guy. He may be rash and reckless; determined and controlling. But he has never been purposefully cruel.
It breaks my heart when I see the hurt on Ryder’s face caused by Jay’s vitriolic words; each one like an arrow shooting straight through Ry’s heart.
For the first time in my life, I’m ashamed of my brother.
I want Ryder to say something. To defend himself.
Defend his love for Liz and what they have together.
But he says nothing because Ryder has always been the better person.
I, however, am not. I may be the peacekeeper of our group, but I won’t stand by and allow Jay to hurt my best friend.
“You have it wrong, Jay. You knew full well that Liz loved Ryder when she was with you, and not once did she stray or cheat.” I use the words Liz said to me at the beach.
“But right now, in this time and this space, she loves him. She wants to be with him. She made her choice, and she chose Ryder. She will not run away from the promise her heart made to him, memory or no memory.”
“Babe, I have to agree with Jay. If Liz gets her memory back, she’s going to break Ryder’s heart.”
“I think you need to shut up, E. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I know Liz. You don’t.”
“I have supported your feelings for Liz for years, Jules. I know you love her, too. But I trust you. I trust us. You have no right to talk to me like that.” Elijah stares me down, hurt and emotional, waiting for an apology. It’s one that I can’t give him right now.
He shakes his head. “Fine. You know what? Call me when you want to discuss this rationally. You’re too involved, Jules.
You need to step aside and let Ryder and Jay settle things themselves, however they see fit.
And without any interference from you.” Elijah cuffs Jayson on the back.
“You need me, you know where to find me. Call me anytime.”
“Thanks, Elijah,” Jay tells him.
I remain stoic as I watch my boyfriend walk out. It’s then that I realize that Ryder is no longer in the kitchen. How did he leave without any of us noticing?
The guys not being here with me today felt weird. I had gotten used to them invading my space, messing up the toothpaste tube, and leaving the toilet seat up which was every, freaking time. Call me crazy, but those little things have me missing them and their messy chaos.
The sun is setting, and I walk out onto the back patio, phone in hand.
I'm about to text Ryder to see if he wants to come over when I come to a stop. The man I was just thinking about is sitting on the steps that lead down to the backyard. His shoulders are hunched, and he’s staring out into the forest that lines our back property.
Ryder hears me coming up behind him and turns his head to look at me.
My brilliant smile turns into a gasp when I see his swollen jaw.
Dammit it, Jayson! I knew things were going to explode between the two of them, but I hadn’t expected it to be so soon, or so violent.
It’s only been half a day since they left. Barely ten hours.
Even though I’m mad as hell at Jayson, I try to lighten the mood with a joke. “I hope you got in a good lick, too.”
“Not in the mood, Elizabeth,” he grumbles and faces back around.
“Ryder?” I cautiously inquire, squatting down behind him, moving my hands up his back to rest on his shoulders. What happened between the two of them tonight and how do I fix it? “Baby, please talk to me. You’re kind of freaking me out.”
I knew the baby would get him. It affects him just as much as it does me. He stands up, and I rise up with him. His chin falls to his chest, and his curled fists drag his knuckles up and down the sides of his jeans.
“I can’t lose you,” he whispers.
I slide around his side to stand in front of him, craning my neck back so I can see his face.
I splay my left hand above his heart and take his right fist in my other hand, bringing it to rest above where my own heart beats.
I want him to make the connection of our hearts being tied to one another’s.
“You’re never going to lose me,” I declare, hoping I can get through whatever invisible wall he has erected. “What’s brought this on? What did Jayson say to you?” I go up on tiptoe and kiss the hollow of his neck.
“Jesus, woman. Stop kissing me so I can think.”
Not on your life, I want to tell him. There is no universe that exists where I will not want to kiss this man every second of every minute of every day.
“Ryder, please talk to me.”
He shakes his head ‘no,’ and my green eyes meet the devastated amber of his own. Ryder needs something from me. Reassurance, maybe? Comfort? Love? Lucky for him, I am more than capable of providing all three.
I come closer so that my front is pressed to his.
“I don’t know what nonsense Jayson put inside your head, but I’m going to show you how much I want you.
” I kiss the underside of jaw. “How much I love you.” I kiss the side of his mouth.
“How much I am yours and only yours.” I cradle his face and bring it down to mine so I can kiss the crease of his brow.
“And you’re going to tell me what happened tonight so that I can show you those three things again, and again, and again, until you believe them. ”
Ryder lifts me up in one lithe movement and sits me down on the patio table. I wrap my legs around his waist when he steps between them.
Fisting his T-shirt with both hands, I tug him closer. “Why do you think you’re going to lose me?” I ask him.
“Something Jay said. It struck a nerve.”
“Let me rephrase that. What precisely did Jayson say?”
“He reminded me that he was your first in everything.”
“I don’t remember him that way, Ryder. You are my first.”
His breath shudders out with relief, and he begins to relax.
“What are the three things I told you, Ryder?”
“You said you want me.”
“And?”
“You said you love me.”
“What was the third thing?”
“You’re mine.”
When he says that, I kiss him hard. “Yes, Ryder. I am yours.”