Chapter 28
My parents are dead. My parents are dead, and Lizzie was badly hurt.
That mantra repeats over and over in my head as I curl myself up into a ball on Lizzie’s bed, wrapping my arms around a pillow that smells like her. I detect another smell as well; something like men’s cologne or aftershave. It makes me think of him.
Oh, God, what have I done?
You are useless. Ugly. Unwanted. Unloved. He was right about everything.
I furiously swipe away at the tears falling unabashedly down my face and soaking into my sister’s pillow, not wanting them to stain her pristine linens.
My sister, Lizzie. The beautiful one. The girl everybody loved.
The girl every guy wanted. The girl who could play three musical instruments and was a straight-A student.
The sister I adored and tried to emulate; wanted to be more like.
No matter how hard I tried, I could never measure up.
I was a dandelion weed next to an exotic orchid. I’m such a screw up.
I look around Lizzie’s new room in her new house, and it’s so different from her bedroom in our old house.
There are no photographs plastered around the walls with tape and thumbtacks.
No pictures stuck in the corners of her mirror.
Nothing to indicate her life, what she likes, or who her friends are.
Her room is bare. Is this how she feels now? Blank. Barren. Nothing.
Uncle Daniel told me she had amnesia for a few months. That her car accident was caused by the same drunk driver who killed our parents. Daniel said he is our legal guardian. It was all too much to take in, so I did what I do best. I ran away and locked myself in Lizzie’s bedroom.
My parents are dead. My sister was badly hurt. And I didn’t know.
I want Mom. Another sob breaks free, and I roll over, trying hard to contain the building pressure of emotion inside of me. It grows and expands and consumes me until I feel like I’m about to explode.
Needing a release before my emotions consume me, I clamber out of Lizzie’s bed and walk into her bathroom.
My tear-filled eyes dart wildly around the small room until they stop on the shaving razor resting on a shower caddy.
Opening the glass shower door, my hand begins to shake as I reach inside, my fingers grazing the handle of the razor.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking about doing this, but I can’t help myself.
A loud knock on the bedroom door has me jumping back, instantly ashamed for what I was about to do. I always feel shame when I do it. It never stops me, though.
“Hailey, sweetheart. Can I come in?” Daniel asks, his voice low and soft.
I step out of the bathroom and wrap my arms around myself. “Is Lizzie here?” I ask him through the locked door. It’s a stupid question. How long does it take to fly from Europe to the States? It’s the sort of thing Lizzie would know.
When Daniel told me that Lizzie was on a trip with a friend, I was instantly jealous.
While I was with him sleeping in tents and ratty motel rooms, she was off having the time of her life, hopping from one European country to the next.
Our parents had planned for us to take a trip to England next summer with the Jamesons and the Cuttons.
It was going to be a graduation gift for Lizzie, Jayson, Julien, and Ryder.
Mom had us submit our passport applications and get our photos done.
I think she was the most excited about going to London.
So, yeah, I’m envious that Lizzie is now there, and I’m stuck here. I wish I could have gone with her. But I want her home now. I need her to be here.
“That’s what I need to talk with you about. Can I please come in?”
I reluctantly unlock and open the bedroom door for Daniel. He’s holding a glass of milk in one hand and a plate with a sandwich on it in the other.
“You’re not allergic to dairy like Lizzie, are you?”
“No,” I say and accept the plate he hands me. Sitting down on the bed, I attack the sandwich with vigor because I’m starving.
Daniel approaches warily, treating me like some injured, wild animal. “Lizzie’s plane just landed, but I asked her friend, Fallon, if he wouldn’t mind taking her to the hospital to get checked out first.”
My head snaps up with concern. First of all, Daniel never said she was with Fallon Montgomery. Why would she be with him? Where’s Jayson? Or Ryder? Or Julien? Secondly, why would Daniel want her to go straight to the hospital?
“Why? Is she okay? Did something happen?”
He hesitantly touches my arm then quickly removes his hand when I involuntarily flinch.
“She left for her trip soon after her memories returned. I just want her neurologist to check her out and make sure she’s alright.
Stuff like that. Just a precaution. There’s nothing to worry about, I promise,” he tries to reassure me.
“Oh.” I’m glad Lizzie is okay. “Can we go to the hospital and meet her there?”
“No, honey. You’re staying here. You need to rest. And then I think we should talk.”
I want to scream at him that I don’t want to talk to anyone but my sister. I want Lizzie. Instead, I ask, “Where are Jayson, Julien, and Ryder?”
Daniel’s eyebrows rise in question. “Lizzie’s boyfriend, Ryder?”
Did I hear him right?
“Ryder and Lizzie are together? What about Jayson?” What Twilight Zone world have I walked into? Is there nothing that hasn’t changed while I’ve been gone? Can life flip on a dime in less than a year?
“I’ve met Jayson and his brother, Julien, a few times.
They’re nice boys. Lizzie and Julien go running together almost every morning.
She’s going to be on the track team this spring,” Daniel tells me with a bit of pride in his voice.
But all I can think is: Lizzie is not with Jayson anymore; she’s with Ryder.
She’s been in Europe with Fallon Montgomery.
My once unathletic sister runs every morning and is on the track team.
My head is spinning with all these new revelations. And those aren’t the only ones. Lizzie lost her memories but now they’re back. Our home is up for lease. Our parents have been replaced by our uncle. I have been replaced.
Daniel takes the empty plate from me as I remain sitting on the bed, speechless.
“I’m sure you have questions as well,” he says as he places the glass of milk on Lizzie’s bedside table. “Why don’t you try to get some rest in here while I go make up the guest room for you. That can be your room now if you want it, Hailey. We can go shopping for whatever you need this weekend.”
I stare at my uncle, but I don’t really see him. I want to thank him for his generosity, but I’m not able to form the words. Lizzie and I barely saw Daniel growing up. Yet here he is, and our new guardian. Our new substitute parent.
“We’ll figure things out, Hailey. Just know that I’m here for you and I love you. I know I didn’t come to visit all that often, but as your uncle, I have always loved you and Lizzie.”
Daniel bends down to kiss the top of my head and I freeze up. I only relax when he leaves the room.
How did life get to be even more complicated?