Chapter 39
“Is that Ry?”
“Hmm?” I ask, looking up from my phone at Jayson. “Uh, no. It’s Fallon.” I get up and go over to Jayson’s side of the booth. “Say cheese,” I tell him and snap a selfie of us and send it to Ryder.
Me: Good noontime/early afternoon, sexy boyfriend. Missed you last night, and this morning, and right now. Hope you have fun with the guys today. Eat something. Yes, I’m nagging.
I put my phone in my back pocket as I slide out of the seat and return to my side of the table. The waitress brings our food over and I eagerly dip my first fry into a side dish of mustard.
Jayson makes a gagging sound. “I will never get used to seeing you eat that.”
“Yet it’s still so very, very delicious,” I clap back, shoving another fry in the spicy, yellow goodness. “Julien said he has a soccer match the Tuesday after we go back. I’m assuming we are all going.”
Jayson spoons up some chili, one of today’s specials. “You want to go?”
“Duh. Yes, of course I do.”
“Want to make some posters and embarrass the heck of him?”
I throw a fry at Jayson. “I recall the last soccer game when you and Hailey wanted to sit behind the scouts that came to watch the game. Heckling Julien while he’s out on the field is a big no. He would be mortified.”
“Says the girl who made him wear a hot pink T-shirt.”
I aim my yellow-tipped fry at him. “Touché. However, in my defense, that was—and still is—a great shirt. If you mess with your brother, I’ll make you wear it,” I threaten teasingly
Jayson laughs. “I’d like to see you try, princess.”
I squint my eyes at him, but I can’t hide the smile twitching my lips.
Jayson points at me. “That right there.
“What?” I wipe the side of my mouth. “Do I have mustard or something on my face?” I wipe again.
“No. I was referring to your smile. It’s nice that you smile at me now. I really hated those months when you didn’t remember me. Not only did I lose my girlfriend, but I also lost my best friend. You wore a scowl on your face more often than you smiled at me. It’s nice to have it back.”
The smile he was just praising, falls. I knew this conversation was going to come up sometime today. That is the reason Jayson wanted us to hang out—so we could talk.
“I really am sorry, Jayson. I know what happened to me was hard on all of you.”
He balls up his napkin and places it on the table, then he leans forward, resting his elbows on top of the Formica. “You’re really in love with Ry, aren’t you?”
My eyes sink to my lap to avoid his serious, silver gaze. “Yes, I am.”
“Do you still love me?”
My head snaps up and I open my mouth, only to close it again. It takes me a second to answer.
“I think I will always love you, Jayson. But I had to make a choice and I chose Ryder. I don’t want to hurt you again, but I’m not going to evade or lie about it either.” My hands are shaking in my lap as I tell him that. I squeeze them between my thighs to keep them still.
“I know, Liz. And I’m trying to be okay with it. It’s just hard because I still love you so much. In my mind and in my heart, you’re still my girlfriend.”
I want so badly to reach across the table and hold his hand, so I do, trying to offer him whatever comfort I can.
Jayson bends over the table and touches his forehead to where we’re joined. “I don’t blame you or Ry for what happened between us. I blame the drunk driver who caused your accident.”
Oh, God. He doesn’t know. Of course, he doesn’t know. You never got a chance to tell him. I kissed Ryder for the first time that night. I asked him to give us a shot at our “what if.” I was planning on telling Jayson the next day and break up with him.
“Jayson, I…” Tell him. No more secrets. “There’s something I need to tell you… about that night.”
He shakes his head, stopping me. “It doesn’t matter, Liz.
Anything that happened before is in the past. I don’t want to dwell on what was or what could have been anymore.
I want us to move forward. Like you said, that was old Liz.
You aren’t her anymore. I want to get to know new Liz.
I hope she and I can still be best friends. ”
Crap, I’m crying. “I would love that,” I tearfully reply and shrug my shoulder up so I can wipe my face dry on it.
Jayson reaches over the table and wipes the tears away from the left side of my face. “You keep that up and our waitress will think there’s something wrong with our food.”
I splutter a watery snicker. “I’m good,” I assure him. “So, what do you want to do today?”
“Just spend time with you,” he says, a quick grin upturning his mouth
I swirl another fry in my mustard. “I have an idea. It involves an oak tree.”
The smile that explodes across Jayson’s face is a sight to behold.
“You look like you’ve had a good day,” Hailey says from the sofa where she’s reading a book on the new Kindle that Daniel bought for her.
Jayson just dropped me off after we spent hours sitting and talking in our old oak tree. It was like old times, but better in a way.
“I did have a good day,” I tell her, propping my shoulder on the entryway to the living room.
She puts down her Kindle and looks at me with interest. “Want to talk about it?”
I study my sister and her relaxed, almost cheerful manner. In the girl before me, I see the Hailey from over a year ago. The sister who I would share my secrets with. The sister who would read me her poetry and talk to me about boys.
“Yes, I’d like that very much.”