Chapter 45 #2
He and I jam together for over an hour, playing song after song as Jayson videos us. A few songs I switch to the piano, then join Fallon with my own guitar. As we play, I can feel Dad right next to me, and for the first time, I’m truly happy to finally be home.
Once I’m sure that Hailey is fast asleep, I slide out of her bed.
She and I talked for a long time tonight after everyone left.
She opened up more to me about her time with Bryant.
The nine months she spent with him, driving from one town to the next.
Sleeping in ratty hotel rooms or pitching a tent in the woods.
Sometimes, they just pulled over to the side of the road and slept in his Corolla.
They made money by panhandling or taking on odd jobs like mowing lawns.
She told me about the first time he hit her.
The things he said to her that she is now understanding to be manipulations.
Abusive words used to keep her with him, afraid and dependent on him.
The way he tore her down day after day until she felt like she was nothing.
I had to fight down the urge to snap a picture of the photo with Bryant in it and sick Fallon on him.
When I enter my room through the joined bathroom from Hailey’s bedroom, my anger and sadness quickly evaporate when I see Jayson and Julien waiting for me on my bed. I left the window open for them tonight knowing they would come.
Julien pats the space between himself and Jayson. Crawling across the covers, I snuggle in between them. I’m immediately cocooned in warmth and the fragrant smells of their cologne. Jayson still wears the Yves St. Laurent I gave to him, and Julien smells like Sauvage.
“This is more like it,” I comment, so incredibly happy to have my two princes back.
Without missing a beat, Jayson says, “Would you rather…” and I’m transported back in time.
When I went to my window to say goodnight to the twins, stars and a moon made out of construction paper were taped outside my window, and each star had a letter written on it that spelled out “princess.” I saw the branch outside of my window move and that was when I noticed two brown-headed boys smiling at me through the glass, both balancing on top of the sturdy oak branch.
Startled, I jumped back before I regained my wits and opened the window for them.
I held out my hands to help as Jayson climbed through first, then Julien.
“What in the world?”
I stepped back so they could both stand up. “How were you able to put those stars up on the window? They’re beautiful.”
“We got bored being stuck inside so thought that if our parents wouldn’t let you come over, we would come to you.”
Jayson helped me pull Julien over the windowsill, but Julien accidentally knocked over my small ladybug nightlight lamp from my bedside table. Jayson picked it up and placed it back where it belonged. Julien made an umph sound when his legs landed on the floor.
Hailey must have heard the noise because she came through the bathroom and her jaw dropped open. “Mom is going to be so mad at you if she comes in here.”
I really doubted it. Mom usually left us alone to settle down and sleep once she kissed us good night.
“Love you Hales, but scram,” I said to her.
“Your funeral,” she said and retreated back to her room.
The boys and I snuggled down together on my bed.
Julien still had a stuffy nose, but they sounded and looked much better than they did earlier that day.
Jayson doubled a pillow over and laid on his stomach beside me, propping his head up on top of his folded arms. I reclined back against my headboard and Julien sat next to me before laying his head on my lap.
I knew he must be tired from being sick, so I started to rub his head by sliding my fingers through his thick, soft brown hair.
“Would you rather...” Jayson began. We loved playing this game.
Jayson continued. “Would you rather eat a bowl full of maggots or three spiders?”
“So gross!” I threw my stuffed dog at him.
“I’d eat the spiders because they’re small and there’s only three of them. I don’t think I could eat an entire bowl of wriggly maggots,” Julien stated after considering the question seriously.
“Still gross,” I said pretending to fake vomit, “but I see your point. I agree. Okay. My turn. Hmm.” I spent a second thinking and then it hit me. “Would you rather... kiss a girl or kiss a toad?”
Jayson slid his eyes to Julien as Julien tilted his head up at me. Jayson then looked at me and said, “We’d kiss the girl but only if she were you.”
I knew I was only nine years old, but after first grade when Jayson, Julien, and I became the best of friends, I discovered that boys were not as icky as I once thought they were.
I also saw Samantha kissing boys all the time behind the jungle gym on the playground at recess and it made me think about whether I wanted to kiss a boy.
Or have a boy kiss me. My mom and dad kissed all the time.
Mom said that people kissed when they really liked each other.
Samantha must have really liked a whole bunch of boys then.
I liked Jayson and Julien and they were boys.
Would I want a boy to kiss me? I don’t think I would.
But then I would see Julien racing across the playground after Jayson, or I would think about the color of their eyes that had always fascinated me, and I would change my mind.
Yes. Yes, I did want to kiss a boy. Well, two boys.
And yes, I wanted them to kiss me back. I actually talked to Hailey about it one night.
She still thought boys were super gross and that I should keep my feelings a secret.
Most boys in my class thought girls had cooties, and I’m afraid if I tried to kiss Jayson or Julien, they would stop being my friends.
Hearing Jayson say what he just said made my tummy feel like worms were crawling all in it. Before I could say anything back, Hailey came back into my bedroom and told the twins it was time for them to skedaddle home before we all got caught and got in big, big trouble.
Before getting off my bed, Julien pecked my cheek quickly, followed by Jayson, and they both climbed out of my window.
Jayson poked his head back in. “Samantha tried to kiss us on the playground, but we told her no.” Then he smiled at me and pulled his head back out.
Seconds later, I heard their voices from the darkness say, “Good night, princess.”
I touched my cheek where they kissed it and it was Hailey’s turn to make fake vomit sounds.