16. Knox
Knox
The car rocks when I follow Sawyer in and I hold my breath, waiting for something bad to happen. It’s stupid. The chances of us going through a second coaster accident in our lifetimes has got to be miniscule. I’ll do the math later, but I know we’re fine. Safe. Nothing will go wrong.
Sawyer slides all the way to the inside and sits, and I squeeze in next to her. The space is narrower than I expected. Her dress rides up and every inch of our sides are pressed together. I rest my hand on top of her bare thigh. I know it’s bold but that doesn’t stop me.
Sawyer’s eyes drop to the spot and she opens her legs an inch to accommodate my hand. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“I’ve got you.”
She sucks in a breath and pulls the lap bar until it locks, testing it with both hands. I follow, pulling on it harder to double-check.
The attendant gives a bored wave from the booth and the car lurches forward.
“Oh, shit,” Sawyer says. She’s breathing shallow and fast. Her body locks up tight with tension beside me. I move my hand down her thigh and curl my fingers around the inside of her knee.
“Look at me.” I wait until she does. Her eyes are wide, pupils blown in the low light. “We’re okay. I’ve got you. Nothing’s going to happen.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do know that. And so do you.”
She holds my gaze for a beat, then two, and I watch her expression change. The decision not to believe me exactly, but to let herself be steadied. That’s all I’m asking for. She exhales slowly, her body loosening by a fraction, and turns back toward the track as we climb.
The park falls away beneath us. The midway lights shrink.
The carousel sits lit up and still, but I’m not really looking at any of that.
My eyes are on her, the perfect view. The way she’s holding herself, jaw set, chin lifted, facing this head on when every part of her wants to turn away.
I have loved that about her since before I knew what love meant.
Since before I understood that she was the person I looked for first in every room I walked into.
Then her hand finds mine on her knee.
She keeps her gaze ahead, wraps her fingers over the back of my hand and starts to push, slowly guiding me up the inside of her thigh inch by inch. I go still, forgetting how to breathe. Does she want? Oh, fuck, yes, she does.
The track pulls us higher and the wind picks up and she keeps pushing, slow and torturous, until my hand is under the hem of her dress. She stops with her fingers still laced over mine.
I ghost my fingers over her underwear. Damp already. Soaked, actually. Fucking hell, I’ve missed her.
She hasn’t looked at me. Maybe she thinks if she does, she’ll break whatever this spell is. Her chest is visibly rising and falling, the colored lights from the track strobing across her face. Her lips are parted, the tiniest crease between her brows like she’s concentrating.
“Sawyer,” I rasp.
“Make me forget,” she whispers. “Please.”
She opens her legs as much as the confined space allows.
I’m fucking in awe of her. I have always been in awe of her and I don’t think it will ever stop.
“Anything you need.” I pull her underwear aside and drag a finger through her wet folds. A small noise leaves her lips, like an exhale, and her fingers tighten over mine for a second before she lets go and grips the lap bar instead, giving herself over to me completely. I don’t take that lightly.
We’re near the top now. The angle is steep, the car slow, grinding toward the crest, the whole park spread out below us
“You’re so wet,” I say against her temple, circling her clit with the pad of my thumb, taking my time because I want to draw this out. I want her shaking before we hit the top. “So perfect. You have no idea.”
She takes a sharp breath through her nose. “Knox—”
I press a kiss below her ear. “I’ve got you.”
Her head drops back against mine, exposing the long curve of her neck, and I drag my lips up the side of it, slow, feeling her pulse hammering under my mouth.
She smells incredible. Strawberry and sunshine and her, just her.
I’ve been dreaming about this for so long that being here feels like an actual dream.
We reach the crest, that moment where gravity lets go of everything, where time stops and there’s nothing but sky and the distant lights of the park below.
Sawyer’s breath comes sharp and unsteady against my jaw as I rub slow circles.
Her thighs press tight around my hand. Her whole body pulls taut, every muscle bracing, a moan caught behind her closed lips like she’s fighting to keep it in.
Then we fall.
I barely focus on the rush, all my focus is on her.
The moan she was holding back breaks free into the wind, swallowed by the speed and the roar of the track.
I angle my hand and slip a finger inside her, feeling her clench around me.
The sound she makes this time is mine, only mine.
No one else can hear us in the freefall. My cock is so hard it hurts.
I work her through it, through every curve and bank, every rush of air, her thighs locked around my hand and her knuckles white on the lap bar and her face tipped back, eyes shut and hips rocking in the smallest, desperate motion, chasing her release.
“That’s it,” I say against her hair. “Come for me, baby.”
“Oh, fuck,” she breathes, and I feel the clench and release of her around my finger, her hips rolling, grinding out every last wave of it. Her cunt soaking my hand and her body going liquid against mine.
We hit the final bend and her hand drops to my lap.
She wraps her fingers around my cock through my shorts and jerks once, base to head, and my vision whites out at the edges. “Shit,” I pant. “Sawyer—”
She does it again. Slower and tighter this time, like she’s trying to torture me.
With her hand wrapped around me and her strawberry scent filling every breath I take, I come so hard my whole body shudders. My forehead drops to her shoulder, and I make a choked sound against her bare skin.
“Holy fuck,” I pant, and plant kisses along her shoulder. “Did I just—”
The words escape me. I’m too wrecked to speak. I came in my fucking pants and it was one of the most intense orgasms of my life. I’d be embarrassed if I could think about anything other than her.
By the time the car levels out, we’re both still shaking. Sawyer’s breath comes in slow pulls, and I love that I did that. I love that she let me. I ease my hand back and smooth her dress down, trying to ignore the warm stickiness coating my boxers.
She laughs softly, shaking her head, and it’s the best sound I’ve heard in a long time.
The car rolls into the platform and slows to a stop. The lap bar releases, slowly raising, but neither of us rushes to get up. I don’t know if my legs even work right.
Sawyer looks down at her lap. Then she laughs again, quiet and a little bit frenzied, and presses the back of her hand to her mouth.
“We did it,” she says.
I don’t know if she’s talking about the ride or the orgasms but I guess it doesn’t matter. “We did.”
She turns to look at me and her eyes are bright blue in the ride’s light. Her hair is a mess from the wind, and she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
I push a stray piece of hair back from her face. “You okay?”
“I don’t know what I am.” There’s a small smile on her face as she says it. “Are you?”
“Yeah. Better than okay.”
Our eyes lock and stay like that until the attendant comes to hurry us off. I climb out first and hold my hand out for her, hoping she won’t pull back. When she takes it, letting me help her up, I feel like I’ve won a million bucks.
She’s not pushing me away. Not pretending that didn’t happen.
Her hand in mine means something I don’t want to name yet.
Naming it, saying it, means so much more than just a simple act—makes it fragile, something that can break as quickly as it started.
So I just hold it and help her down from the platform and we walk out through the exit gate into the midway and neither of us lets go.
The park is quieter than it was when we first walked in. Or maybe it feels softer, less like something we need to survive and more like something we want.
There’s a few stragglers coming off rides, people getting in their funnel cakes and ice cream cones before closing time.
“Want to walk?” I ask, not ready to leave just yet despite the warm wetness in my shorts.
We drift without direction, past the game booths with their stuffed animals hanging in rows, past a cart selling frozen lemonade that’s pulling its shutters down for the night. Sawyer stops in front of the ring toss booth, her body tensing beside me.
“Do you want to try?” I ask.
She studies the prizes, her gaze focusing on this huge stuffed unicorn. Her throat moves, and she rubs at her eyes with her free hand. “No. Let’s go.”
We keep walking. I want to ask what she’s thinking about. I’m sure it has something to do with Owen. I remember them near the ring toss that afternoon.
“Are you hungry?” She points to the funnel cake stand. I shake my head. Getting food means I’d have to let go of her hand, and that’s the last thing I want.
This, walking with her, is the most normal I’ve felt in a long time. We meander for another ten minutes, passing the carousel and the Tilt-O-Whirl. She doesn’t indicate wanting to go on any more rides, so I don’t push. I’m happy being next to her.
“Remember when Owen convinced us the haunted house was actually haunted,” she says, nodding toward the dark facade as we pass it.
“Us?” I laugh. “I knew he was full of shit.”
“His evidence was pretty solid.”
“You mean the blurry photo he took with that disposable camera?”
“The disembodied head…It was creepy.” She laughs. “I can’t believe we ever went back in there.”
“I only did because you cried about it.”
She scowls at me. “You were scared.”
“I was not scared.”
“You grabbed my arm.”
“I was steadying you.”
“Whatever you say.” She’s smiling fully now, real and unguarded, and I’d say anything to keep it there.
We drift on. Past the darkening midway, past the last of the food carts rattling their shutters down. The park thins out around us until it’s almost just us and a few employees anxiously waiting to get home.
Then the speakers crackle overhead, and a voice that can only be described as aggressively cheery fills the park.
Hiya, Wonder World friends! This is your pal Giggles letting you know the magic is wrapping up for the night! The gates will be closing in fifteen minutes, so start making your way to the exit and remember, the fun never really ends when you carry Wonder World in your heart!
Sawyer stares at the nearest speaker. “That is genuinely disturbing.”
“You mean Giggles, your boyfriend?”
She turns to look at me with an expression of pure offense. “Absolutely not.”
“You’ve been coming here for years. That’s a long relationship.”
“I want you to know I genuinely cannot stand you.”
“Giggles would be devastated to hear that. He only wants to spread fun and magic.”
“Knox.” She glares at me. “Stop.”
“He’s carried Wonder World in his heart for you this whole time, Thorne. Years of loyalty.”
She’s trying not to laugh and failing completely. “You’re an ass.”
She’s quiet on the drive back to her car, but this time her body looks different. Looser, content. Her head’s resting back on the seat and she’s leaning slightly closer to me than necessary. That small change is everything.
The market comes up on my right, her car still where she left it. I park behind it, waiting for her to say something first. She doesn’t, so I say the first thing that comes to me.
“Happy birthday.”
Her eyes meet mine, a glint in them from the streetlight. “Thanks.”
She gets out and pauses at her hood, grabbing her keys. My heart races as I wait for something, anything else.
But she gets in and starts to drive.
“Fuck.” I pull out behind her and follow the whole way back to her motel, wondering the entire time when she’d slam on her breaks, or pull over and give me shit. But she doesn’t.
When she gets out of her car, keycard in hand, I follow.
She doesn’t say a word as she swipes the card and pushes the door open. Then she turns to me, rolling her lip between her teeth. I bring my hand to her waist and pull her against my chest, slow, giving her every chance to stop me.
There’s only an exhale of breaths—mine, hers…I can’t tell.
I cup her chin and inch closer. We’re so close I can taste the mint on her breath. I want her mouth. I want all of it…every soft curve, every sharp edge, all of her. I want to hear her moan my name again, tell me I’m the only one.
I bring my lips to hers, barely touching. Featherlight.
“Goodnight, Knox.” Then she steps back into her room and shuts the door in my face.
I grip the doorframe and hang my head, but a laugh slips out before I can stop it.
“There she fucking is. My Sawyer.”
It’s something…a chance, maybe.
I stand there, leaning against her door for a few minutes, making sure she’s settled, that she doesn’t need me, then I head back to my Jeep and adjust my painfully hard cock.
Tomorrow’s another day.