17. Chapter 17
“Why do you look so worried?” Zach asks, leaning against the kitchen counter with a half-smirk. “I’m not going to murder and bury you in the backyard—at least not while Ella’s awake.”
I bark out a laugh because even after everything that happened last week with Tiff’s dad, I can always rely on my relationship with Zach to remain the same.
Openly hostile, but potentially something a little more like respect underneath it all.
“That’s thoughtful of you,” I retort. “I’d hate to mess up her sleep schedule.”
I glance over at Ella, who’s humming the theme song from Iced Out so loudly, she can’t hear us talking. Her little tongue is poking out of the corner of her mouth, and her princess crown is tilted on her head while she colors.
She’s beautiful. She’s everything, and I still can’t get over the fact that she’s mine.
“I wish I could be here tonight with you after last week, but I’ve got things to deal with.”
In the last seven days, I’ve learned that Zach is the most efficient man I’ve ever met. Since Tiff’s father arrived, he’s managed to install more security cameras and protocols around the house than I thought existed.
Apparently, this is what being single is for Zach. Not going out and drinking with his buddies. It’s protecting his family, and I’ve got to respect it.
“Do these things involve going to the ice rink so you can see if Honey is there?”
I know. I know. I shouldn’t have gone there, but I can’t help it. When it comes to me and Zach, we’ll always have this banter-filled relationship.
He lifts his lips in a fake smile before pointing the knife he’s holding at me. “You’re a real comedian, aren’t you, Nicks?”
“I try.”
Zach narrows his eyes and tosses an apple in the air before placing it on the table and cutting it with the knife quickly, without looking.
If he wasn’t threatening me, I’d be impressed.
“Now, let’s get one thing straight. I’ve been lenient with you because Tiff wants to give you a chance, but after my uncle showed up conveniently around the same time as you, I can’t help but be a little suspicious. ”
“Honestly, I don’t blame you.”
“Good. Then you’ll understand that I have hidden cameras everywhere. If you make Ella cry, I make you cry. If you break a promise to her, I break something of yours.” He takes me in. “Probably your nose. Again.” He grins. “Simple enough arrangement, right?”
“Right.” I don’t bother to antagonize him now. Not when it comes to Ella and her safety.
“Good.” He takes a bite of the apple, chewing slowly. “For what it’s worth, Tiff thinks I’m too harsh on you, and she’s probably right, but I’ve been protecting those two since before Ella was born, so you need to give me some leeway.”
“I get it,” I say, risking a glance toward Ella, who’s still occupied with her coloring. “I’m doing this for her, Evans. No other reason. I want to be the father she deserves. I’m not here to piss you off or upset Tiff. I just want to know my daughter.”
His gaze flickers down for a second, and he nods.
“Tiff told me you had no idea about what your father was doing.”
“I didn’t.” I shake my head, the admission still burning. “I only found out about Ella six months ago when I was snooping through my father’s files. He wanted to make sure I never knew—it’s the same move he pulled when he tried to hide my adoption.”
Zach closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Wait, what? You’re adopted?”
“Tiff didn’t tell you?”
He shakes his head.
“Yeah, well, unfortunately I can’t blame my pathetic personality on my parents anymore.
It was a closed adoption, so there aren’t any records for me to access.
” I shrug, trying to seem casual about a wound that will never heal.
I’ll never know my real parents or why they gave me up, and I’ll certainly never know what life I would’ve led if I hadn’t been destined for the Nicks family.
“I found out the same day I met Tiff, actually. I was—pretty messed up that night.”
Zach silently assesses me, then he shakes his head. “I get it, Nicks. You want to be better, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re the same asshole who treated Honey like garbage in high school. The same guy who made my life hell for years. The same entitled prick who—”
“Uncle Z!” Ella's voice cuts through his building tirade. “Come see my picture!”
His face transforms instantly into a smile as he reaches into his pocket and puts a few dimes in the swear jar. “Coming, princess.”
He crosses to the living room and crouches beside her, admiring whatever masterpiece she's created, and for a second, I just watch how natural they are together.
He knows exactly how to talk to her, how to make her giggle, how to be the uncle—the father figure—she needs, and it makes me feel a little inferior.
What the hell do I know?
Nothing. That much was obvious when I couldn’t even get Tiff’s father to leave last week. Instead, I was too busy trying to justify the fact that I’m Ella’s father…a title I still don’t feel I necessarily deserve.
“It's a castle!” Ella announces proudly, pointing at her creation. “With a moat and everything!”
“That's incredible,” Zach says warmly. “You're gonna be an artist when you grow up, I can tell.”
“Or a princess,” Ella corrects seriously. “Princesses live in castles.”
“Right. My mistake.” He ruffles her hair gently, then stands.
“Jamie? Can you help me color the towers?” she asks with a bright smile.
“Sure thing.” I can never say no to her. I cross to the living room and lower myself onto the floor beside her as she hands me a purple crayon. “Uncle Z can do the stars, and you can color the bricks.”
Zach doesn’t question the request. He just starts coloring, so I follow his lead.
“You're doing it wrong.” She points at my section of the tower. “That's supposed to be pink, not purple.”
Zach sniggers under his breath.
“Oh, right. I’m sorry.” I swap crayons, and she nods approvingly.
“It's okay. Everyone makes mistakes,” she says gently. “Mommy says mistakes are how we learn.”
“Well, your mommy's very smart.”
“The smartest.” Ella grins before going back to her coloring.
We color for a few minutes while Ella tells us all the facts about her made-up castle and its imaginary princess inhabitants while I try to stay inside the lines.
“I think I should cancel.” I hear Tiff’s voice before she appears at the bottom of the steps.
That’s when I forget how to breathe.
Fuuuuck. What the actual fuck have I done?
She’s wearing a red dress that falls just above her knees as she pushes her long hair to the side so she can put her earrings on.
“I’m not sure I really feel like going out after everything that happened.”
Her gaze catches mine, and for the longest time, we just…stare. Suddenly, I feel like we’re back in the library, and the world has fallen away.
I need to say something. Anything, but my brain has apparently short-circuited because all I can manage is to sit there like an idiot, cataloguing every detail. The way the red brings out the green in her eyes. The subtle curves of her dress. The way she’s biting her bottom lip.
I want her so badly it’s becoming a major problem.
“Mommy!” Ella squeals, abandoning me and Zach in favor of Tiff. “You look like a princess!”
My hand clenches around the crayon so hard, I feel it snap under my touch.
She’s not wearing that for you, idiot.
I toss the remnants onto the pile of crayons close by and sigh. Zach’s giving me a shit-eating grin, because I bet he knows what I’m thinking right now.
“Thank you, baby.” Tiff smooths down the dress self-consciously.
Zach leans in. “You good, man? ‘Cause that’s the face of a guy realizing he might’ve fumbled the whole damn game,” he mutters to me. “You’re going, Tiff,” he says louder. “You look too good for Reese to play it cool.”
Reese. Right. Reese. She’s wearing it for Reese.
The guy she’s going on a date with. Never with you.
I shake my head, willing myself to get out of my own thoughts.
She’s beautiful. I already knew that, and she’s still not mine.
Standing, I say, “You look…” I clear my throat. “You look really nice.”
Nice. What a pathetically inadequate word to describe her.
Zach snorts quietly beside me. “Nice,” he says. “Real smooth, Shakespeare,” he murmurs. “That’ll keep her thinking about you all night.”
He places his unbroken crayon down and heads over to them, offering Tiff a hug, which she gladly accepts.
“Thank you, both.” Her cheeks flush slightly as Zach kisses her cheek.
“You’re right. I know you’ve got this—I don’t know.
I guess I’m just nervous.” When she straightens up, she tugs at the hem of her dress again.
“This isn’t too much, is it? I haven’t been to something like this in—well, ever, really. ”
“It’s perfect,” I say, meaning it with every fiber of my being. Then, because apparently, I’m a masochist, I add, “Reese is a lucky guy.”
Zach cackles. Literally, he throws his head back and laughs at me. I don’t blame him. I sound like a sap right now.
“Alright, I've gotta head out to speak to some sponsors. Coach is gonna have my head if I'm late again.”
He grabs his bag from beside the counter and slings it over his shoulder. As he passes me, he gives me another warning look.
“Have fun, T. Make sure you work Reese’s hips. I’ve got a new play I want to try that requires it.”
“Sure thing, Boss,” she snarks, saluting him.
“And Jamie?” He turns back, his expression unreadable. “Thank you. For last week, and for having her back.”
The words catch me by surprise. “Always.”
He holds my gaze for another beat, then nods once and heads for the door. “Bye, princess! Be good for Jamie!”
“Bye, Uncle Z!” Ella waves enthusiastically.
When the door shuts and it’s just us, Tiff gives me a nervous smile.
“You look absolutely stunning, Tiff.” I take her in one more time, trying not to look like everything is crashing around me. “Reese is a really lucky guy.” I clear my throat at the end, and when I catch her eyes, she looks a little sad.