29. Chapter 29
“Is Jamie still coming?” Ella asks as I carry her on one hip, weaving through families and tailgaters in the packed parking lot.
“Yes, baby,” I say, scanning the rows of cars and folding chairs, the smell of grilled food thick in the air. “If you see him, or Honey, will you let me know?”
Ella twists in my arms, craning her neck, her little hands gripping my jacket as she studies every passing face.
“I don’t see him,” she says after a beat, sounding almost offended by it.
Then she gasps. “She’s there!” she squeals, pointing and pulling her body so far forward, I almost lose my balance.
Honey smiles as she locks the car and heads towards us.
It’s only when I see Jamie round the hood that everything around me ceases to exist.
He’s here.
My fingers are still trembling as they hold our daughter tight, but I feel a little more secure with every step he takes.
He’s really here.
He really came back.
With a bag slung over his shoulder and his hair a little messy, he looks too good for someone who supposedly blew up his life just to be with me.
With us.
“Special delivery,” Honey says, patting Jamie on the back and pushing him toward us. “Well, he’s not that special, but he’s here.”
Jamie rolls his eyes before locking eyes with mine, giving me a bashful smile.
It’s unfettered, and relaxed.
It’s also the best thing I’ve seen today.
“Hi,” I breathe out.
“Hey.” He opens his arms, wasting no time to take Ella and me in a double hug.
“I missed you both,” he says warmly, not letting us go even though the crowd are starting to push around us now as the game is starting soon.
Jamie eases back, pushes a few strands of hair away, and kisses her on the forehead before whispering something in her ear. Whatever he says makes her giggle.
As he backs away completely, Ella holds her arms out. Jamie scoops her up. “Princess!” he says, glancing at the face paint on her cheek. “You’ve got something on your face.”
She nods happily. “It’s Zach’s number.”
“What’s the number?”
She brings three of her fingers up and then says, “Three,” proudly. “Just like my age.”
“You’re so smart.”
He nuzzles her nose as his hand rests on her back, and when he closes his eyes, I can’t help but smile. He looks so utterly at peace.
For the last few days, I was so worried that my worst fears would come true. That Jamie’s father would offer him everything and he’d accept it. Then it would just be me and Ella, and I’d have to explain to her why Jamie suddenly entered her life, only to leave it again.
But he stayed true to his word.
Ella wraps her arms around his neck. “We watched Iced Out without you.”
Jamie opens his mouth in mock shock. “What? You can’t be serious?”
She nods.
Jamie takes me in and shakes his head. “Guess we’re going to have to watch it again tomorrow to make up for it.”
Honey laughs softly, stepping closer to us as the crowd shifts around us. She reaches out, patting him on the back with an easy familiarity. Something that wouldn’t have been there last week.
I don’t know what happened at their fathers’ office, but I can sense a shift not just between them, but in the way they carry themselves.
“Did you get everything from Chris’s house?”
“Chris's?” I ask, confused.
“You didn’t tell her, did you?”
Jamie shakes his head but doesn’t take his eyes off Ella.
Honey turns to me. “Jamie checked out of his hotel before he left for Connecticut. He didn’t have anywhere to sleep last night, so Chris offered him the hockey house’s couch.”
My brows furrow. “Why didn’t you come home?”
“Is that what you're calling Zach's place? My home?” Jamie grins, hiding his amusement. “I think Zach would rather watch game film of his own interceptions than live with me.”
“Still. You should’ve told me.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “It's just it was late, and I didn't want you worrying. Chris was picking up Honey anyway, and he offered.”
“Well, you're coming back with us tonight,” I say sternly.
“Yay! We're having a sleepover,” Ella chants.
“Thank goodness. I was not emotionally prepared to host him on my floor,” Honey says as she heads over to me and pulls me into a hug.
I hold her a second longer than usual, finally grasping how much of her life she rearranged for me. She took a job she hated, stayed in a place that forced her to face her ex every day, and turned her back on her family for me without ever asking for anything back.
“Thank you,” I whisper, even though it doesn't feel enough. I doubt it ever will. She’s handed me a life I could only dream of.
She pulls away, her hands still clutching my shoulders as she grins with pride. “Don’t thank me. I’m just so happy to see you living your best life, Tiff. That’s all you deserve.”
“You deserve that, too.”
Her eyes shift away from me to the ground as she takes a step back. “Yeah, well, now that I no longer have a job, I’ve got plenty of time to think about what’s next.” Even though she managed to stand up to her father, I still only hear sadness in her tone.
“And what do you think is next?” I ask, wanting her to know I’m here for her.
She sighs, still not looking at me. “I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it’s not staying at St. Michael’s.”
I nod. “Understandable,” I say, feeling utter devastation that she’s finally admitted it out loud. For the last year, I’ve wondered when she was going to cut her losses and move on, and I guess now that she’s had to stop fighting, she’s finally able to make that decision.
Not wanting her to leave just yet, I rest my hand on her arm.
“Why don’t you stay?” I gesture toward the stadium.
“Zach would love to see you at his last home game. He always leaves a seat open for you—and if he enters the draft after this season like everyone expects, I know it would mean something to him to have you there.”
She looks up at the stadium, and her lips purse before she shakes her head. “I can’t. I’m exhausted, and I need to get my shit together.”
“Sure.” I don’t press any further. She deserves some time to think through whatever she needs to and not have an emotional heart-to-heart in a college football stadium's parking lot with her ex-boyfriend watching. “Will you text me when you get home?”
She nods and gives me one final hug before moving to Ella and planting a kiss on her forehead. “You be good, Ella-bean. Make sure Jamie knows when to cheer at the right time. Scoring a touchdown is foreign to him.”
“Oh, it's like that now, is it?” Jamie says, still smiling.
She shrugs. “We all have our strengths and weaknesses, Jamie.”
He barks out a laugh at that. “You’re right. Even with my father’s bribes, I couldn’t make it off the bench. That’s always been Zach’s realm.”
“All right, I’m heading out, but I hope you all have a great time. Call me if you need me,” she says to all of us before she walks away toward her car with her head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone.
Watching her leave doesn’t make me feel good. Here I am, moving forward with what feels like my best life, while she’s restarting hers.
She's lost, and I desperately want to help her the way she's helped me, but I don't think she'll accept it.
Not yet, at least.
“She'll come around,” Jamie says as if he can hear my thoughts. “That meeting with our fathers was intense yesterday. I'm not surprised she needs a break before she tries to figure out what's next.”
“Oh, yeah? How are you feeling about it?” I ask as we walk toward the entrance of the stadium.
“Pretty damn good.”
“Uh, oh! You're going to need to put a dollar in the swear jar,” Ella says, grabbing Jamie's cheeks so he's looking directly at her.
“Okay, Princess. It's the first thing I'll do when we get home.” His cheeks are pushed so close together, he can barely get the words out.
“Good.” She lets go and is almost bouncing with excitement as we enter the stadium. After passing security, Jamie puts Ella on his shoulders, and we head to our seats.
“Can we get popcorn, Mommy?” Ella asks, pointing excitedly at one of the confectionary stands.
“Maybe at halftime, baby.”
When we're in our seats, I pull out Ella's foam finger as she sits on one of Jamie's knees, excitedly watching the cheerleaders and the marching band below.
“You good?” I place my hand on Jamie's knee, stopping it from bouncing. It takes him a second to turn his attention to me.
“Yeah, I've just never been in the crowd for a game before,” he admits quietly. “Feels weird watching Zach out there when I used to torment him in high school.”
“You’re always talking about Zach and high school. It’s almost like you like to live in the past.”
“What does that mean?” He tilts his head, a small smile drawing on his face.
“I don't know. You're always worried about what an idiot you were before instead of focusing on all the incredible things you're doing now. No one has a squeaky clean past, Jamie. At least you worked to change it. You're trying to be a better person, and so far, you're succeeding.”
“I hope so,” he says, only loud enough for me to hear.
Southern Collegiate enters the field, their burgundy and gold uniforms striking against the green turf.
Jamie laughs. “Of course I'd have to root against my old school tonight.” I glance at him, and for a second I expect to see him staring at the field, thinking about all the things he left behind for us, but instead, he barks out a laugh and knocks me on the shoulder. “To new beginnings.”
“To new beginnings.”
“Now, please welcome the St. Michael's football team to the stadium for the last time this season,” the announcer’s voice crackles over the speakers.
The crowd stands, erupting into a crescendo of cheers as the team charges onto the field in a blur of blue, white, and gold uniforms.
“And now, please welcome our starting quarterback, Zach Evans.”
As if the crowd couldn’t get louder, it does.
He runs out of the tunnel with his helmet in his hand and waves at the crowd. He might hate this side of the game, but my cousin was made for this.
Ella starts clapping wildly.