Chapter 76
‘Boyd, can’t you see how impossible this is? I can’t cope with her any more. I know you had a good relationship with your mother, but this is so hard.’
‘I miss my mother a lot,’ he said. ‘Rose is totally different, but at the same time she reminds me of her.’
‘You didn’t live at home since you were what? Eighteen, nineteen? You left Grace alone to care for her.’
‘My mother could take care of herself.’
‘Rose thinks she can too, but she can’t and I’m at my wits’ end.
’ Lottie slapped the tea towel against the cupboard door, feeling so much pent-up frustration that she knew if she didn’t do something to calm down, she might combust. She dumped the cloth in the sink and sat with Boyd at the table. ‘Did you have a happy childhood?’
‘Can’t complain,’ he said. ‘Open fields, the sea, fresh air. It was good, but it was also kind of claustrophobic.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘All that vast expanse of land and sea, but in here,’ he thumped his chest, ‘I always wanted to escape. That’s probably why I got married young, without giving much thought to my wife’s personality or her past.’
‘Big mistake.’
‘Definitely, but now I have Sergio. Something good came of it. Something good always surfaces in the end.’ He reached out and took her hand. ‘Lottie, I can see you’re struggling, but the thing is, only you can make the decision on what’s best for your mother.’
‘It’s such a huge responsibility. It’s daunting.’
‘I know. Rose is in the throes of this awful disease. It has altered her personality to make her unrecognisable as the woman you once knew.’ He paused before continuing. ‘As you said, she can’t care for herself. It’s time to find the answer to the hard question.’
‘What would the question be?’
‘Can she be better cared for elsewhere? Somewhere other than here.’
‘Of course she can.’
‘Then you have your answer.’
‘But I can’t abandon her.’ She was almost crying now and hated herself for showing weakness.
‘It’s not abandoning her,’ he insisted. ‘It’s making sure she’s in the best possible place. She needs carers, nurses, activities. She also needs the company of others her own age.’
‘But that won’t make her better.’
‘What will you do if she gets worse? She fell the other day. What if she hurts herself badly?’
‘Honestly, Boyd, I don’t know. No one tells you how to manage this disease. There’s no quick-fix manual to read. I made mistakes in the past. So did she. Maybe those mistakes have caught up with us.’
‘Just like with Sadie and Caroline.’
‘What do you mean?’ She was surprised at his change of subject.
‘I think everything that happened this week has a connection to their past mistakes. How that works, I don’t know.’
‘I tend to agree with you.’
It felt good to be back on safe territory, talking about the job. She was worn out thinking about her mother. She was about to continue the work conversation when Rose hobbled into the room, dressed in a pair of Lottie’s jeans and a T-shirt.
‘I’m going out,’ she said.
‘It’s eleven o’clock at night.’ Lottie stood up, her arm outstretched to catch her mother before she reached the back door.
Rose slapped her hand away. ‘Don’t you dare touch me, missy.’
Lottie looked helplessly at Boyd.
He remained seated. ‘Rose? Would you like me to make you a cup of tea before you go out?’
‘Who is this mannerly man? Are you here to drive me into town?’
‘I can do that,’ he said, ignoring Lottie’s gaping mouth. ‘After we have the tea.’
‘I’ll put the kettle on,’ Lottie said, mesmerised by Rose, who was smiling like a teenager beside Boyd. She felt her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans.
Holding it up to show Boyd she had a call, she scooted out to the hall before he could protest.
‘Kirby, what’s up?’ she said, feeling guilty at the relief of escaping.
‘We got a call, boss. There’s been an assault. A stabbing.’
‘Where?’
‘Priory Lane. It’s across the road from where Liam Scanlan works.’
‘Who did he stab this time?’ she asked, jumping to the one conclusion that made sense.
‘Lottie, this is bad. It’s… Meet me outside Cafferty’s. Don’t delay. It’s…’
The call dipped, but she caught something in his tone. ‘It’s what, Kirby? What are you not telling me?’
‘It’s personal this time. Boss, it’s Chloe.’
Boyd agreed to stay with Rose to keep her calm, even though Katie was upstairs with Louis and Sergio. Lottie didn’t argue. She couldn’t think straight as she skidded the car along the gravel drive and out onto the road. What did Kirby mean? Chloe?
She stabbed her finger at her daughter’s number on her phone as she drove. Unable to get it into the hands-free holder, she placed it between her chin and shoulder. The call rang out.
Chloe had gone to a party. Reluctantly. She was tired, she’d said, after the drive from Templemore.
Lottie had told her it was good to get out for an hour or two after the weeks of study.
Now that she thought about it, something had been off with her daughter.
Not talking much. Distracted. Distant. That was it.
Chloe had been distant, and that was unusual.
She’d been so happy about getting into Garda training college.
Excited. Vocal. Boisterous. Not distant or distracted.
She tapped Kirby’s number. ‘Are you still at the scene?’
‘Yes, boss.’
‘Is Chloe… is she with you?’
‘She’s gone in the ambulance.’
‘Shit, Kirby, why didn’t you tell me that? I’m after driving past the hospital.’ She did an illegal U-turn, screaming into the phone, ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Boss, it’s bad. She lost a lot of blood. It’s like Martina and Clarice.’
‘God, no, don’t say that.’ Then she realised something. ‘They’re doing okay now, aren’t they?’ She hoped they were, because wouldn’t that mean Chloe would be fine? ‘So we have nothing to worry about.’ She knew she sounded hysterical. In the circumstances, she couldn’t be anything else.
‘I honestly don’t know. Come down here. There’s nothing you can do at the hospital.’
‘She’s my daughter, Kirby! My little girl.’ She hung up on him and drove into the hospital forecourt, parking in a set-down area near the front doors.
She prayed to any God who could hear her. Pleaded with Adam, her dead husband. ‘I’ll never forgive you if you let her die,’ she shouted at the heavens as she jumped out of the car.
Inside, the bright lights blinded her. The hum of the crowd in the A&E waiting area deafened her.
The smell of damp clothes and ill health threatened to drown her.
Overwhelmed, she swayed against the wall.
McKeown was coming towards her. He grabbed her elbow in an attempt to steady her. She swatted him away.
‘Where is my daughter?’
‘I accompanied her in the ambulance,’ he said formally. ‘They brought her this way.’
‘Is she okay?’ She noticed the blood on his coat and her whole body trembled. Chloe’s blood.
‘They say she needs surgery.’
She pulled up short and he was two steps ahead of her before he turned. ‘Why aren’t you with Kirby? Why aren’t you out looking for Chloe’s attacker?’
‘I thought it best to wait for you.’
‘Go do your job. Find the bastard who hurt my little girl.’
‘Okay.’ Then a flicker of uncertainty flitted over his face. ‘If you’re sure?’
‘Just go.’ As he turned, she added, ‘Thanks for staying with her.’
She continued down the wide hallway with curtained-off cubicles on each side. She could see the open double doors at the end, the rain and a cool breeze blowing leaves inside. An ambulance stood outside. She walked to the end before she turned, pulling back curtains. Searching.
‘Chloe?’
‘You a relative?’ A green-suited paramedic came towards her, folding up a blanket.
‘She’s… she’s my daughter.’ She pointed back to the ambulance with its open doors, lights still flashing. ‘You brought her here. Chloe Parker.’
‘Oh. Yes. I did. She’s been rushed up to theatre. The lift’s over there. You might get to see her before they take her in.’
‘How is she?’
‘Afraid she’s in a bad way. I’m sorry.’
But he didn’t look sorry. She presumed he’d seen too many strangers after they’d suffered violence.
Like so many she’d seen. But this time, as Kirby had said, it was personal.
Her little girl had been hurt, and she hadn’t been there to protect her.
Tears flowed down her cheeks as she ran to the lift.