24. Chapter 24
twenty-four
Noel
C ara Bean Coffee is a bright and colorful row of converted fishing shacks on the working end of the waterfront.
I arrive as the sun is rising over the water, painting it a beautiful sherbet behind the rusty white fishing boats.
Jamie’s words— feel it, Noe— warm me from the inside as I park in the dirt lot and head to the door.
I am excited for this. This is the kind of work I dreamed of doing when I applied to art school.
But everyone’s a dreamer in school. I’ll be a painter, or a writer, or change the world at the helm of a non-profit , say like ninety percent of undergrads.
Then you graduate and the real world hands you your first bill, your mother moves into your condo, your family gets sick, and suddenly all of that seems like a fairytale.
Working as an artist full-time is something I hadn’t even considered before I met Jamie.
But he’s inspiring, supportive in a way I haven’t really experienced.
Not that Kate and Colin haven’t supported me in my work, but their advice has always been more of a careful nudging, like leading a spooked horse.
Jamie’s never cared about being careful.
He grabbed my hand and started running the minute we met.
Cara steps from the middle of the three buildings, meeting me on the small deck overlooking the water. “I’m so excited you’re here,” she says, hugging me like we’re old friends. “I swear meeting you the other night just seems like serendipity.”
I try to keep my laugh from sounding unhinged. I want to scream: You have no idea ! as I follow her inside. She’s laid open a notebook of inspiration photos on the roughhewn counter-height bar and we pull up stools.
“I’ve thoroughly scoured your Instagram,” she tells me. “And I really think our ideas are going to work so well together.”
“I think so too.”
Portland is full of murals like the one she wants.
It seems every building has donated a piece of its brick and stone facade to color—painted lighthouses and boats and abstracts.
As a kid obsessed with art, it felt like some special heaven made just for me.
Getting to design one myself, leave my mark on the city I love so much?
It’s as serendipitous to me as it is to Cara.
“So,” Cara says. “Tell me all of your thoughts.”
I pull out my tablet full of sketches I put together.
“Well, you could probably see from my socials that flowers are sort of a specialty of mine.” She nods along as I pull up my last line of floral invitations on Etsy, admittedly old now but suddenly my most relevant portfolio.
“I think that works especially well with the organic slant to your brand. Maybe some honeysuckle like this.” I point to the rendering on my screen.
“Chamomile blooms aren’t the most decorative but I could sprinkle them amongst some of the other natural elements that are in your teas. ”
This idea came from seeing Jamie’s hops plants in a new light, how pretty the plain flowers look inked onto his bicep. “I can pull the colors here,” I wave a hand at the stools we’re seated on, a mixture of nautical blues and greens, “for the abstract behind the blooms.”
When I’m finished flipping through the digital sketches, Cara’s face is beaming. “I love it.”
“You do?”
“So much!”
I bite back the full watt of my grin to maintain some professionalism, but inside I’m bursting. “I think it will be quirky like you wanted, but really push your brand from behind the design.”
“It’s brilliant. Really, Noel. I guess the only question is what you said the other night, that you’re only here temporarily.
Sooo , after it’s designed…” She gives me that gap-toothed smile that takes years off her face in the same way Jaime’s dimples do.
“Are you going to stick around and paint it?”
I know this is the question, and it’s met with a somersault sensation inside my chest, a knee-jerk: This can’t be real .
Though, who would have thought any of the rest of it could be real?
This serendipity, this fate. So much has changed since I showed up here afraid of the emptiness I thought I’d find being here without Nana.
It’s been filled with so many other things that I was missing—painting like I used to, more time with Kate.
And things I didn’t even know I was missing, like Jamie and everything he comes with, including this opportunity.
I could barely stand for him to leave my bed this morning.
How can I walk away from him now? If I trust the visions, I know he’s where I’m supposed to be. And he’s here.
He showed me how to want things, and the visions showed me that all of these things are tied together. Everything I want is in this place.
Kiss Jamie. Don’t leave. Boom. Universe Achievement unlocked.
It has to be the point of all of this. I think I’m supposed to stay.
“Yes,” I tell Cara. “I want to do the whole thing.”
“Then you’re hired!” She stands and wraps her arms around my shoulders.
I brace myself for the panic to come, the oh my God, what did I just do dropping in my stomach.
But it doesn’t. I’m not sure it won’t when I have to actually make this call to Vi, but for now, excitement rushes up my body.
I hug Cara back and it spills out of me in giddy laughter.
It kind of feels like I can’t lose.