3. Silver
3
SILVER
T he fragile man shaking with sobs that I found on the doorstep has transformed into someone reserved and careful. He answers my questions with one or two words as he eats his French toast and calmly thanks me when I show him to the guest room where my brothers sleep any time they stay the night.
Holding him while he sobbed was easier than leaving him in that room all by himself. Maybe that’s because I still want him, and I’m a selfish person. Or maybe it’s because the sobs seemed more honest. There’s a wall between us now—a coldness that’s foreign after how close we were in high school. I don’t know what to make of it.
I wander back to my bedroom and close the door. My first instinct is to call Link. He’s shit at giving advice, but he’s a good listener. The problem is, I think I need advice.
I call my omega mom instead.
“Hello?” Her voice is throaty and confused. “Are you okay?”
I glance at the clock. It’s three in the morning. I got so caught up in what’s going on with Lucas, I forgot what time it is.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Do you think I’m normally up at this hour?” she asks, a teasing lilt to her voice.
“No. I just lost track of time.”
“What’s going on, sweetie? Is something wrong?”
“No, I mean, yes, but I can’t tell you what it is,” I stammer. God, I should have thought this through before I started making phone calls.
“Okay,” she says patiently.
I know what question I want to ask her. It’s incredibly stupid, and she’ll probably be able to figure out exactly what’s going on based on my question, but I have to know.
“Do you remember when I asked you about putting my paws on someone who already had a fated mate?” That’s how raccoon shifters claim their mates. We put our paws on their chest while in our raccoon forms.
“Yes, I remember.”
“You said it would still work. That I could override a fated bond if I wanted to,” I say more to myself than to her.
“I also said that you shouldn’t do it. Raccoon shifters are lucky. We can choose to be with whoever we want. Shifters with a fated mate can only bond to that one person. It isn’t kind to rip away someone’s only chance at love like that. It’s gotten raccoon shifters into a lot of trouble in the past.”
I know all of that. It’s why I didn’t put my paws on Lucas back when we were eighteen, even though I really wanted to.
“What if someone’s been with their fated mate for several years, though? Would it still work?” I ask.
Mom sighs. “What’s going on over there?”
“Nothing. This is a purely hypothetical question,” I lie.
“A purely hypothetical question at three in the morning?”
I pause. “Fine. It’s not hypothetical.”
“How long has this guy been with his mate?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Okay. Is his name Lucas?”
Of course she figured it out. I’ve never been good at keeping secrets from her.
“I can’t tell you the specifics of what’s happening right now. I just need to know if putting my paws on him will work if he’s been with his mate for five years.”
There’s a long pause on the other end. I can feel her exasperation, even a hundred miles away.
“The bond fated mates share is very special—” She begins.
“Yes, I know that.”
“It’s difficult for someone to go from an intense relationship like that to another deep bond so quickly. People need time to heal and figure out who they are on their own.”
“But what if he’s in trouble? Getting a bond removed requires a warlock, and that’s expensive. Wasn’t Nikki’s bond removal over $100,000?”
Nikki is Aunt Emerald’s friend. She’s a gray wolf shifter too.
“Sweetie, you only get to put your paws on one person your whole life,” she says.
“But—”
“You called me in the middle of the night to ask me this question, so let me answer. The magic in your paws is not there to save someone money or rescue them. It exists solely to bind you to the person you love. Now, if Lucas is that man, and he loves you as much as you love him, then the two of you need to have a conversation about that.”
I take in a deep breath. “I understand, but will my paws be able to override a bond that’s lasted for five years?”
“Yes,” she says softly. “If he loves you, and you love him.”
“I’ve loved him since we were kids?—”
“You loved the eighteen-year-old version of him. A lot can change in five years.”
She’s right. I’ve changed a lot in the last five years, too. I graduated from college, joined the Air Force, and travelled the world. I’m very different from the small-town alpha Lucas dated in high school.
“Look, if you put your paws on Lucas, you know I’ll support you. You’re a good man, and I have no doubt that you’ll do the right thing, whatever that may be.”
“What if I don’t know what the right thing is?” I ask.
Confessing my feelings might make things more complicated for Lucas. Will he feel like he can still stay with me if I tell him I love him? He said he didn’t have anywhere else to go. The last thing I want to do is make him uncomfortable in the one place where he feels safe.
“Talk to Lucas,” she says. “Communication is important, especially if you want to put your paws on someone.”
“Thanks, Mom. Sorry for calling so early.”
“It sounds like you had a good reason. Bring Lucas over if you can, okay? I miss that boy.”
“I’ll try.”
We say our goodbyes, and I end the call, still confused about what I should do next. Normally, Mom’s advice is a lot more useful. Maybe I should have called Link after all.
Because I’m a dick, I text him, knowing full well what time it is.
Are you up?
To my surprise, I get a response.
I am now, asshole.
I grin and call him. He answers on the first ring.
“What the fuck, man? You better be on fire or something.”
I laugh. “Sure. Because calling you is the logical thing to do if I’m burning to death.”
“Ugh. If you get me up at three in the fucking morning, you don’t get to make fun of whatever comes out of my mouth. What is so urgent that you couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”
I wince. He’s probably not going to like this. “Well, there’s this omega?—”
“Seriously? You called me at three in the morning about a guy?”
“Fine. Then I won’t tell you who I want to put my paws on,” I say.
He lets out an agonized groan. “I hate you.”
“But you want to know badly enough that you’re going to listen to me, right?”
There’s a long pause. “Maybe.”
That’s as good as I’m going to get from him at this admittedly unreasonable hour. If he hadn’t woken me up in the middle of the night so many times during our college years for a ride home from yet another drunken frat party, I’d feel guilty.
“So, this omega shows up on my porch in the middle of the night. I haven’t seen him in years,” I start, then Link interrupts me.
“It’s Lucas.”
“What? How did you know?”
“A guy you haven’t seen in years shows up on your doorstep and you want to put your paws on him? Of course it’s Lucas. I watched you mope over him for three whole years in college.”
“Three years? I did not?—”
“Yes, you fucking did. It was so bad that an omega snuck into your bed our junior year wearing nothing but lacey underwear, and you sent him home without so much as a glance at his very nice ass. It was awkward for everyone. Especially me, because he tried to hit on me before he left, and the moment had serious incest vibes. Gave me the biggest ick of my life.”
I laugh. I’d forgotten about that.
“You laugh now, but at the time, you were the biggest mopey McMoperson,” he says.
“That can’t be a word.”
“Like I said before, if you wake me up at three in the morning, I get to say whatever words I want. How is Lucas doing, by the way? Is his creepy fated mate still hanging around? He always gave me serial killer vibes.”
I sigh. “Any alpha with a mullet gives you serial killer vibes.”
“Yeah. Because that is the serial killer haircut of choice.”
“Says who?” I ask.
“Says me, and I get to say?—”
“Whatever you want. Got it. I can’t tell you what’s going on with Lucas. I’m sorry. But I think you might be right that his mate is…”
“A serial killer? Really?”
“No, of course not. Jesus. But I think he might be dangerous.”
Link swears under his breath. He may joke about Lucas’s mate being a serial killer, but he cares about Lucas just as much as the rest of us.
“You gotta put your paws on him, Silver,” Link says. “To keep him safe.”
This is why I hesitated to call Link first. He oversimplifies things. Which is part of the reason I love him so much. The world is an easier place to understand while I’m talking to him. Everything is pure good or evil. Even haircuts.
“I’m not sure Lucas wants me to put my paws on him,” I admit.
“Maybe not now, but after you do it, he’ll have to love you. And I promise that loving you will be better for him than loving the mullet man?—”
“You mean Daryl.”
“Oh, that’s right. His name is Daryl. That’s a serial killer name to go with his serial killer haircut. This guy can’t be good.”
I laugh silently. God, I love Link. What would I do without him there to say something stupid enough to make me laugh?
“I think Lucas should get to decide who he wants to love, regardless of what’s best for him.”
In other words, I should talk to him. Just like Mom said.
Link sighs loudly. “Fine.”
“Thanks for talking with me about this, though. I should probably let you go.”
“What?” he scoffs. “That’s what you got me up for? Seriously?”
“Yeah. I just needed… to feel better.” It sounds stupid when I say it out loud, but it’s true. It’s hard to live alone after spending my whole life sharing a room with at least one of my brothers. Sometimes I just need to hear their voices.
“Maybe you should have eaten a hot dog or something, then. Because calling me this early is bullshit.”
I laugh again. “You’ll get back to sleep just fine.”
“Yeah, but still. You’re interfering with my EDM cycle.”
I smile. “It’s REM cycle. EDM is a type of music.”
“Oh yeah.”
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay. Say hi to Lucas for me. I still think you should put your paws on him, but not from me, obviously. Like I mentioned earlier, incest vibes give me the ick.”
I laugh and end the call. I still have no idea what I’m going to do, but I think I can go back to sleep now, too. That’s a start.
I’ll figure out the rest later.