21. Lucas
21
LUCAS
S ilver knocks on the door. I don’t answer.
He knocks again. I stay in bed.
He knocks a third time. I know I should get up. I should apologize for not giving his brothers my number. I should tell him that he was right, I was wrong, and I’ll never do it again. I should cook him a nice breakfast and plaster a smile on my face until he’s too busy with work to notice how upset I am.
Except Silver isn’t Daryll.
My heart still pounds as he waits by the door. I don’t normally ignore alphas who want something from me. I give them what they want or try to calm them down. If neither of those things work, I run.
Lying here in this bed is the opposite of all that.
“Stay in there for as long as you need to, Lucas. I’ll be working at the table when you’re ready for company.” His voice is calm and soft.
I wait for him to speak again, louder this time. I wait for him to pound on the door. I wait and I wait until my stomach gnaws with hunger and the phone under my pillow becomes harder to ignore. I haven’t checked for any messages from Daryll since yesterday morning. I know he’ll come looking for me at some point. I just don’t know when.
I slide the phone out. It’s dead, of course. The battery was low yesterday morning, and it’s an old phone. I could keep it under the pillow and continue to ignore it. What’s the point of reading Daryll’s messages anyway?
I slip the phone back into its hiding place and get out of bed. The house is completely quiet as I sneak out of the bedroom and creep down the hall. That must mean the others have left.
Silver is sitting at the table, like he promised. He doesn’t seem angry. He’s just typing on his computer and munching on a piece of toast. My mouth waters. I haven’t eaten anything all morning.
What would Silver do if I walked over to the kitchen and made toast for myself? He didn’t mind when I helped myself to food yesterday. I slowly step forward, holding my breath. I get all the way to the counter before Silver turns his head to look at me.
He smiles. “Hey. How are you feeling?”
“Oh, um, fine. I mean, I was hungry, so I thought I’d… I’m sorry about the phone number thing. I didn’t mean… I can give them my number. I’m sorry if they left because of me. I just?—”
“It’s okay. They had to get back to work. They left you their numbers here.” He holds up a torn piece of paper with four names listed: Tin, Coin, Quin, Link. Each has a ten-digit number underneath.
Back when I met Daryll, I deleted all their numbers because I didn’t want to be tempted to call them. I knew I needed a clean break. Otherwise, I’d come crawling back to Ruby’s house every time I felt lonely. There were plenty of times I regretted that decision. Sometimes I fantasized about keeping in contact with Coin or Quin, just so I could feel the warmth of being close to their family again.
I approach Silver and take the paper from him. Now I have all of their numbers. I could text Quin: How are you? I could ask Coin what songs he’s recorded. Maybe he could send me a link to listen to them.
It almost makes me want to charge my phone.
“You don’t mind if I have this?” I ask Silver.
He furrows his eyebrows. “Why would I mind?”
“I don’t know. They’re your brothers?—”
“They’re your brothers, too. No matter what. You heard what they said.”
I don’t remember that part very well. I was too busy thinking about my phone and the messages I haven’t read from Daryll. But if Silver claims they said that, I believe him.
I fold the paper carefully and slide it in my pocket.
“Could I have breakfast?” I ask.
He stands up. “Of course. Let me make you something.”
“No, I’ve got it. You keep working.” I rush over to the fridge and open it before he gets any ideas about cooking for me anyway.
“Okay, but I wouldn’t say no to more cuddling today, if you’re game for that.”
My stomach does this little flip flop. There’s nothing I want more than to sit in Silver’s lap all day while he works. This is my month of happiness, right? Why shouldn’t I?
I make myself some toast and slather it with jam I find in one of Ruby’s old mason jars. That must mean she made it. I pour myself a glass of milk, too. The doctor said I need lots of calcium. I still haven’t had the courage to bring up prenatal vitamins with Silver yet. They’re expensive, and he’s already bought so much for me. I can probably go another day or two without taking them.
I pick up my plate and glass, ready to head over to the table, when I notice the iPad on the counter. I saw it yesterday, including the charger it’s hooked up to. It’s an older one, just like my phone. I’m almost certain it uses the same charger.
I could borrow it to charge my phone. I wouldn’t have to look at Daryll’s messages yet. I could swipe past them and text Quin.
No, not yet. I might see Daryll’s texts in the process.
I set my plate and glass next to Silver’s laptop. “Is it still okay if I…”
He holds out his arms to me. “Yes, I would love that.”
I curl into his lap and rest my head on his shoulder. His scent and warmth envelope me in a cocoon of safety that feels even better today. I nibble on my toast and peel my orange, all while cuddled close to him. After I’ve eaten and drank my milk, I’m completely sated and at peace. I fall asleep to the tap , tap , tap of his keyboard and the thump , thump , thump of his heart against my cheek.
“Lucas.” I hear Silver’s voice off in the distance. It’s a nice voice—a safe voice.
“Baby, it’s time to get up.”
I blink my eyes open. Silver is rubbing my back. To my utter horror, I’m drooling on his shirt with my cheek smashed against his chest. I sit up straight and wipe the drool from the side of my mouth.
“Sorry to wake you, but I really have to go to the bathroom. I needed to go a while ago, but you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to disturb you.” He smiles at me fondly, and my heart melts. I didn’t think anyone would ever look at me like that again.
I stand up and he turns in the other direction, sprinting for the hallway. I guess he really had to go. How long did he wait so I could sleep? His kindness makes me feel safe, just like being close to him.
Then, I have to go to the bathroom because I always have to go to the bathroom. I retreat to the toilet in the ensuite connected to his bedroom. While I’m peeing, I notice another charger. This one is just waiting on the counter. I don’t know if it’s for his phone or iPad. After I wash my hands, I look at it for a long time.
Silver has been very kind to me. He should have the right to know if an angry, violent alpha wolf shifter is about to come knocking on his door. At some point, Daryll will notice the Uber charge in our bank account. Will he be able to figure out what address I took the Uber to? How long will it take him to scope out the neighborhood and find Silver’s house? Will he even bother?
If I plugged in my phone I could get a feel for how angry he is.
I pull the plug out of the wall and slip the charger into my pocket. I don’t need to look at the messages now. All I need to do is hook up my phone to the charger. Then I can look at the messages when I’m feeling braver.
The charger rubs against the paper in my pocket with all the phone numbers. Once I look at Daryll’s messages, I’ll reward myself by texting Quin. I smile as I walk through Silver’s bedroom, imagining Quin’s bright, happy replies. The fear doesn’t hit me until I plug in the charger and reach for my phone.
I can do this. It’s important to be able to warn Silver if Daryll figures out where I am. I take a deep breath and grab my phone, connecting it to the charger.
Silver appears in the doorway. I try to hide my phone behind my back, but it’s too late. He’s seen it.
“So, you do have a phone,” he says. “That’s good.”
“It’s dead. I’m just going to charge it. I took the charger out of your bathroom. I’m sorry. I should have asked. I just figured you weren’t using it right now, and I was going to return it?—”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I don’t use that charger much anyway. How about you keep it?” he asks.
“Oh. Sure. Thank you.”
He steps back. “I should probably work. Feel free to join me, if you want.”
I rush after him, leaving my phone on the bed, now connected to the charger. A part of me wants to stay and wait for it to be charged enough to turn on. Now that I’ve faced my fear, it would be nice to get it over with. But another part of me doesn’t want to leave the dreamland of happiness I’ve found here with Silver. As long as I don’t look at Daryll’s messages, he feels a million miles away.
Even if he isn’t.
There’s a reason I knew Silver moved to San Antonio. The diner where I work is only a few blocks away from the Lackland Air Force Base. An omega on the dinner crew mentioned a handsome alpha named Silver with silver hair to match back in April. With a little sleuthing, I found out he joined the military and bought a house in San Antonio. I even looked up the house on Zillow and foolishly imagined living here with him. The address was still in my browser two nights ago.
Daryll frequently went through my phone. If he can’t get Silver’s address through Uber, maybe he’ll remember it from the tabs open on my internet browser. Or maybe he won’t. I don’t know.
There are lots of ways Daryll could find me and destroy my fragile happiness with Silver.