Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
Erica was all for driving straight to Aldeburgh from the house, but Andrew wanted her to come to the station, said he’d drive them in his car. The first thing he asked when she got there was whether she’d called the agents for the property. She found their number on their old booking and they called together from the phone on his desk. He had it on speakerphone so that they could both hear the response.
It took several rings for the agency to pick up, the shrill ring each time tightening the tension between them. Andrew tapped his fingers on the desk. ‘That’s no way to run a business. Answer the damn phone!’
She was surprised how rattled he sounded. Usually, she was the one who panicked; he was the voice of calm. His anxiety made hers even worse. When the phone was picked up, they both spoke at the same time, then he held up his hands and let her take the lead.
She tried to keep her voice calm and business-like. ‘Hello. I’m enquiring about a property that you manage in Aldeburgh on Clarence Street. We think our daughter is staying there and wanted to confirm it.’
The girl at the other end of the phone sounded about seventeen. ‘I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell you who is staying there. It’s private information.’
Gripping onto the edge of the desk, Andrew leaned towards the phone and practically growled at her. ‘I’m a Detective Inspector and I’m telling you that you can.’
Erica didn’t know if this was true or not, but Andrew in work-mode wasn’t to be argued with. She felt a little guilty at how nervous the girl at the other end of the phone sounded. ‘I only started yesterday. I don’t know what the rules are. I’m looking after the office while my boss is out. When they get back?—’
Andrew’s growl became a bark. ‘We need to know now. Our daughter could be in danger.’
Erica’s heart nearly came out of her mouth. What was he imagining? What could be going on in that apartment?
The voice on the other end of the phone was nearly in tears. ‘My boss will be back in a moment and I can ask them if?—’
Andrew snatched up the receiver and then slammed it down again to cut off the call. ‘That was a waste of time. I’ll call someone at the local station and get someone round there.’
But Erica couldn’t just wait. ‘I want to go there now.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll get my keys. I can call the local station on the way to my car.’
Andrew’s navy BMW was large, clean and comfortable, the doors solid and the seats leather. It was very different from her Renault Zoe, which was small and messy. It’d been a long time since she’d sat in the passenger seat beside Andrew and she couldn’t help but remember the times they’d driven with the children in the back, Benjamin with his earphones on and Mollie glued to a book.
He must’ve been thinking similar things. ‘It’s been a while since we did this, eh?’
Nostalgia squeezed her heart. ‘Yes. Do you remember when they were tiny and we had that mirror thing set up so that I could see them in their car seats?’
He glanced at her. ‘It felt so huge back then, having twins. If only we’d known how that was the easy time. The baby books didn’t warn us, did they?’
Tears threatened at the back of her eyes. If only they could return to those early days. Would she have done anything differently? ‘I don’t think it’s like that for everyone.’
He nodded acceptance and they drove in silence for the next few moments. According to his satnav screen, it was going to take another thirty-two minutes before they arrived in Aldeburgh. Thirty-two minutes before she had even a chance of seeing her daughter.
Staring out of the window, she was trying hard not to picture all the terrible things that might’ve happened when Andrew’s voice made her jump. ‘I can’t help but think about the last time we were there. At that apartment.’
They’d always loved Aldeburgh. Andrew had been at university in Norwich, so he knew that coastline well and had taken Erica there when they were first together. Back then, they’d spend long evenings in one of the pubs drinking Adnams beer and then sit on the pebbly beach eating fish and chips from the paper. When they had the twins, they’d taken them there a few times. With the children in the double buggy, they walked two miles along the coast to Thorpeness to take them out on the boating lake. Life had felt so good. So simple.
Once Benjamin began to struggle, things changed. Andrew spent much more time with Mollie than he did with Ben. The last time they’d come to Aldeburgh, he’d taken her out to the bookshop, then they’d walked on the beach looking for the sea glass she wanted to collect. Then they’d had cake in the tea shop.
When they got back, Erica had followed him into the bedroom so that the children couldn’t hear them talk. ‘You’re playing favourites and it’s not fair, Andrew.’
But he wouldn’t accept it. ‘How can I be playing favourites? Benjamin doesn’t want to do any of those things.’
She’d seen the pile of books that Mollie had returned with. ‘What did you get for Benjamin?’
He’d looked at her as if she was mad. ‘Nothing. What could I have got for him?’
She wasn’t proud of how she’d erupted at that. It was as if everything she’d been holding in since they’d arrived was pouring out of her. Her anger at the way he never spent time with Ben. How Mollie got so much more from him than their son did. In turn, he’d accused her of wanting to control everything, of telling him what he could and couldn’t do.
Maybe it was the sound of them arguing, but something startled Ben and stressed him out. Mollie shouted for them, fear building with every syllable. ‘Mum! Dad! Can you come? Now!’
They ran into the sitting room of the apartment. Ben was pacing up and down and he’d started to hit himself. His palms rained down on his head and he was crying like he’d done as a small child.
Mollie, as always, was trying to calm him down. ‘It’s okay, Ben. It’s okay.’
But he was beyond her soothing voice. He was in his own world now and it was going to be hard to reach him.
When Mollie tried to grab his arms and begged him ‘please don’t hurt yourself, Ben’, he’d tried to shake her off and, without meaning to, his knuckles made contact with her nose. A fountain of blood burst from her face and she cried out.
Erica was next to her in a second. Ben saw the blood – some of which was on the back of his hand – and his distress dialled up even further: he hadn’t meant to hurt her. His waving hands were changed into clenched fists and turned on his own body. The blows he rained down on himself got harder. She could hear his knuckles hitting his skull. It was truly awful. They had to stop him.
From behind, Andrew circled his arms around Ben. It hadn’t been easy. Even at eleven, Ben was getting strong and when he was upset, that strength increased. It took at least ten minutes for him to stop struggling and calm down and, by then, sweat poured from Andrew’s forehead. He looked absolutely exhausted.
He looked exhausted now, too, with his hands gripping the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road ahead. She resisted the urge to reach out for his arm. ‘That was a tough day.’
That was the understatement of the century. That day had marked a turning point in their lives. It was after that episode that Andrew started to really push for a new school with an option for residential care. A year ago, a colleague of Andrew’s had been the one to tell him about Woolifers. Her niece was there and she’d told him that it was amazing. Her exact words – which had encouraged Andrew and made Erica want to cry – were ‘My sister said that the support they provide has given her her life back.’
‘Ben is our life.’ She’d argued with him ’til she was blue in the face. ‘Our kids are our life.’ She hadn’t been able to understand how he could even contemplate sending him away, her beautiful boy. It took another six months before he wore her down enough for her to go and see it.
She wondered if Andrew was thinking about the same thing. ‘We didn’t have another holiday together after that one, did we?’
‘No. I think the idea of a holiday is that you come back feeling better than you did before. Wasn’t really working out for us, was it?’
He wasn’t wrong. Holidays were actually worse for Ben because of the change and disruption. ‘No. It wasn’t really working out.’
The sign for Aldeburgh came into view and Andrew signalled to leave the main road. The satnav spoke her directions into the quiet and Erica looked out of the passenger window at the houses on her side of the road. How many happy holidays might they have had here if things had been different?
Turning the volume down on the satnav, Andrew cleared his throat. ‘Before all of this, I was thinking about taking Mollie away. It’s not fair that she misses out, is it?’
Erica snapped her head around to look at him. ‘Just the two of you?’
He looked a little embarrassed. ‘Well, Ben won’t appreciate it and you won’t go without him, so, yes, just Mollie and me. Or maybe with some friends or something.’
Friends? Did he have a particular friend in mind? Erica could almost feel the fraying edges of their marriage, their family, pulling apart. She had to hold them together. ‘Well, maybe I would come. I mean, if Ben does okay tonight. Just a weekend or something.’
A raised eyebrow showed what Andrew thought of that idea. ‘I’ll believe it when I see it.’
Was he not even going to try and meet her halfway? ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
The phone rang out in the car and Andrew pressed a button to pick up the call. ‘Hello?’
‘Andrew, It’s Mac from East Suffolk.’
This was the officer Andrew had spoken to earlier about checking the holiday let. Erica held her breath. Did they have Mollie?
Andrew’s voice was calm and clear. ‘Hi, Mac. What’s the situation?’
‘We’ve spoken with the manager of the holiday let office and they’ve confirmed the booking in Mollie’s name on your credit card.’
That was something. At least they knew where she was. Andrew was waiting for something else. ‘Can you go there and check that she’s okay?’
‘We’re there now. But there’s no answer. Someone’s coming from the office to let us in. I’ll call you back as soon as we gain entry and update you on what we find.’
‘Thanks. We’ll be there as soon as we can.’
After Andrew ended the call, Mac’s words swirled in Erica’s brain. Gain entry . What we find .
In profile, Andrew’s face was pinched with the same sharp anxiety that gripped Erica. In his time on the force, he’d been in a wide range of these situations – some so awful that he wouldn’t speak about them, not wanting to bring that evil into their home. Mollie wouldn’t be the only runaway he’d ever dealt with. Though it filled her with fear to know what was going on in his mind, Erica had to break the unbearably heavy silence between them. ‘Andrew. What do you think Mollie’s gone to Aldeburgh for? What are you expecting to find in that apartment?’