Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
MOLLIE
It was the Friday before last. The same day that Amelia was appointed to the school council. Feeling embarrassed and stupid, I just wanted my mum. Dad is great and everything, but I just needed to speak to her. I got home from school, changed out of my uniform and checked the clock in my room. It would be about another fifteen or twenty minutes until she was back at her apartment after collecting Ben. I might as well get myself a snack.
I had my foot on the top stair, about to go and see what was in the fridge, when I heard Dad in the kitchen on his mobile. Even though he was speaking quietly, his words travelled up the stairs to where I was standing.
‘No, I’m at home. But Mollie is upstairs, so a Zoom call would be tricky. I don’t want her walking in and seeing me talking to you.’
Interesting. That made me stop and wait. Who was Dad talking to that he didn’t want me to see? As quietly as I could, I lowered myself to sitting so that I could lean close to the banister. The door to the kitchen was right below me and, despite seeming to want to keep this call a secret, Dad had left the door ajar.
His voice was low, but he’s never been very good at whispering, so I heard every word. ‘We’ve been living in different houses for three months. Does that count as separated?’
He was talking about Mum. This didn’t feel right. Why was he telling someone that he and mum were separated? They weren’t, were they? Not that they’d told me. It had all been explained as being necessary for Ben’s school. Nobody had said anything about splitting up. All of a sudden, my upset over the school council was pushed aside by the thought that they’d lied to me. Were Mum and Dad getting a divorce?
I barely wanted to breathe in case he heard me listening in, but when – after about thirty seconds of silence – he laughed, it made me jump.
‘No. Nothing like that.’
There was something about the way he spoke – especially after the laugh – that made me suspicious. I don’t know why, but I suddenly thought that maybe he was talking to a woman. For a start, he was using a softer voice. Not the bark he used for dealing with people trying to sell him car insurance on the phone. Whoever it was on the other end of that call, Dad was definitely trying to make a good impression. Surely he wasn’t planning to start seeing someone behind Mum’s back?
There was another long pause before he spoke again. ‘Well, there was what happened at the old house. We had a fire.’
I don’t have the strongest of memories about the fire. Me and Ben were only eight when it happened. It’s probably old enough to remember but it’s like I only have scenes from that day and I can’t really join them up into a film. I do remember the smoke and how much it made me cough. And I remember being very scared. Whenever we talk about it – which isn’t often – Mum gets really upset and Dad changes the subject. What was Dad going to tell this mystery woman at the other end of the phone?
I shifted myself even closer to the banister, holding on to one of the spindles as I tried to catch what Dad was saying. It was like he had a stutter; he was hesitating and not really making sense. He was explaining that Mum was there on her own with both me and Ben because he was on a night shift. He doesn’t do those anymore now he’s more important, but he did when we were small. Now he was telling the woman about the fire. That it had started in the kitchen. He’s telling her that Mum had to get us both out before the firefighters came. I know all this, so it’s a bit disappointing. But then he says the thing I didn’t know. The part that had never been mentioned to me before. That hit me like someone had slapped my face then punched me in the stomach.
He clears his throat, then says the words as clear as anything. ‘She chose to save Ben first. Erica left Mollie in the burning house.’
I gasp so loud, that I’m sure Dad is going to hear me, but he doesn’t come out of the kitchen, so he can’t have. I form my hand into a fist and jam it against my mouth to ensure that I don’t make another sound. I want to hear more, but there’s wind rushing in my ears and I feel sick. My fingers wander under the sleeve of my t-shirt to the bumps of my burn scars. Faded now, but still there.
When Mum left to live in the apartment near Ben’s school, I missed her so much. She used to call me every single day and tell me that she was missing me, too. She said it was only for a few weeks. A couple of months at most. That she’d be back before I realised she was gone. But it was almost three months now. And there’d been no mention of when she might be coming back.
She chose to save Ben first. Erica left Mollie in the burning house.
This isn’t the first time she’s left me behind. Not the first time I’ve been her second choice.
She chose to save Ben first.
I always suspected that Ben was her favourite child.
Erica left Mollie in the burning house.
Now I know for sure.