Chapter Fifteen Rock, Paper, Scissors #3
Saeldian kissed like they could pour into Kell’s body and heart, as if they could meet at the lips and twine together.
They sighed and clung harder, pressing every inch of their body that could touch his.
Saeldian kissed Kell like they had never known how it felt to kiss someone.
Kell had seen how every artful, expert technique they’d learned to use could enchant a mark into doing exactly what Saeldian needed from them, while they started and ended a kiss unmoved by it, remaining exactly who they were.
That let doubt tap a cold finger on Kell’s shoulder. He lifted his mouth away and drew back. Saeldian looked back at him, their cheeks and lips flushed, their eyes dark and—worried.
“Sorry. Sorry. I—”
Kell soothed one hand down Saeldian’s back. “It’s all right. I should have asked.”
“I should have,” Saeldian said.
“I would have said yes. May I kiss you again?”
“Please.”
Saeldian groaned right into his mouth when they met again.
If Saeldian had clung before, they melted now, freeing the clenched-tight hold on their body to move against Kell as if they were both naked already.
Against Kell’s skin, Saeldian’s shiny hardened leather became soft, velvety suede.
Their kissing made Kell feel like he could float, but Saeldian’s hands held him to his flesh as they pulled the knot keeping his robe closed and slid it off his shoulders to land in a woolen heap on the carpet.
Kell had to step on it as he moved backward, feeling for the edge of the bed he needed to lie on before he couldn’t stand.
Saeldian crawled up over him, kissing down his throat as their hands smoothed over his skin, looking for the places that made him arch into that touch, that made him moan and push his hips up against the tight suede trapping Saeldian’s own excited body.
Saeldian grabbed on to him and held his hips still. “Easy.”
The way Saeldian said it got right into Kell’s veins. The way they let him go to trace unerring lines over his body before they lowered their head and kissed just under his jaw, down his neck, made him grab the blankets under him like he needed to hold on to something.
Saeldian hummed. Kiss after kiss wound down over Kell’s chest like pebbles dropped in a pond.
The sensation spread over his skin like a sparkle of fireflies.
Saeldian rubbed their cheek against the springy hair that covered Kell’s chest, shocking him into crying out and grabbing them by the shoulders when they closed their lips over one nipple—
They popped up instantly, looking worried. “Don’t like?”
“Do like,” he answered. “Just—”
The rest got lost as Saeldian did it again. And again.
Under Saeldian’s lips and hands, Kell’s thoughts went fuzzy and languid. Every bit of him moved to Saeldian’s music—their caressing touch, the gentle vibrations from their humming lips that Kell could feel only if he stayed still, all of it made his skin hungry for more.
He should do something—touch back, kiss back.
Kell knew where Saeldian’s kiss-wandering path was headed, and anticipation made his nerves sing, lighting a hoped-for path down his belly, where Saeldian stopped to nuzzle over the hair and tickle through it with their breath and he was going to die of wanting them to keep going but if they did he was going to break in an instant and this was going too fast, wasn’t it?
Too fast to think. They weren’t thinking. Neither of them was.
How did they get here?
But Saeldian turned their head and caressed the crease where Kell’s groin and hip met, and the sensation sprinted in all directions. He wanted to grab them and pin them to the bed and make them feel this, he wanted to stay still and let Saeldian’s lips come closer—no, wait, wait, he had to think—
He had to ask. He had to hear them say it.
“Saeldian,” Kell said gently. “I have to ask you. Do you want to?”
They went still. The moment snapped. Kell’s heart ached for the look on Saeldian’s face.
They pushed themself up and braced on hands and trembling elbows, and Kell made every muscle relax. He knew before they said a word. He’d asked in time, and that was a relief and a bitter, pouting feeling he shoved in a box and locked away.
Saeldian’s expression made him want to hug them so tight, and it was exactly the wrong thing to do. “I can’t. Gods, I almost—”
Kell watched Saeldian close their teeth on whatever they had tried to say. “I can’t.”
Fuck. “All right. I’m sorry I let it go too far.”
Saeldian moved backward until none of them touched him anywhere. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let myself do that.”
Shouldn’t have let themself? But Kell knew. “You never have, have you?”
Saeldian looked away. “Once a mark was in bed, I could use suggestion spells. They didn’t know it was only us talking. They had no idea it wasn’t real. I paid attention, said what they wanted to happen, and they didn’t know the difference.”
Kell sat up. “It’s your pact, isn’t it.”
Saeldian laughed. “You know I can’t tell you what I bargained. I can’t even tell you if you’ve come closest to the truth of anyone I’ve ever known or if you’re so ironically incorrect I want to laugh until I cry.”
Oh, that was clever. “Or both.”
Saeldian remained silent.
That fucking pact, whatever it was. Kell hated it. Not because of his disappointed want but because it was a cage Saeldian couldn’t walk out of. Fey bargains always seemed like they didn’t cost anything, at least at first. But Saeldian had found out what they’d paid, hadn’t they?
Kell’s fury probably heated the air around him, but he didn’t let it show. No talking about it. No reassurances. No heart-to-heart. They would hate all of that. It would ruin whatever they could carry away of the freedom of kissing because they wanted to and not just because it was useful.
“It’s fine,” Kell said. He was still naked, and he lowered himself back down to sprawl where Saeldian had laid him out to feast on with kissing and touching.
He didn’t move because Saeldian was staring at him, at his body, and he wanted them to take away everything they could of this memory now that they remembered it was all they could have.
He could find Osalor after all this. He couldn’t sense him in that same directionless place that was knowing where anyone outside of this domain was. But if he was in the Feywild, nothing would stop him from finding Osalor so he could ask. He’d even do it politely, at first.
Saeldian shifted their weight away. He’d let his feelings show through, enough that their gift for knowing the mood reacted. Relax. Be normal. Change the subject. “Is it your turn in the bath? The water’s pure and hot.”
Saeldian nodded. “I need my kit.”
“I need something warmer than this before I head out.”
“You don’t have to go,” Saeldian said. “Just—pretend it didn’t happen.”
Kell could pretend, but he’d never forget. “Pretend what didn’t happen?”
The smile lifted Saeldian’s cheeks before they could stop it. “Grab that rocking chair and sit. We have to figure out how we’re going to replace the Kiss of Enduring Love right where anyone could see us.”