Chapter Twenty-Eight Matthew
Irony had a sick sense of humor sometimes.
Or maybe it always did.
Either way, something had to explain why the only structure still set up on the farm was the arched arbor. The one at the end of what should have been the aisle Josie would have walked down.
There was no grief in the sight or the thought of something she wouldn’t do. I would have loved to watch her make her way down to me, dressed in a gown, a veil hanging delicately off her head. But I never needed that dream.
And Josie had always been Technicolor in my head. Not white.
The only reason I was here was because Josie hadn’t been home when we’d pulled up to her place. She’d been here, surely trying to help finalize clearing the farm. So I’d asked Cam to drive me here instead of waiting for her.
My own words were still whirling around my head. I’d always suspected I was a hopeless romantic. Mostly because that would explain why I was so good at looking at everyone else’s love affairs under a clinical lens. One needed to really know about a topic to be able to pick it apart. It was either that, or the fact I was incapable of taking shit seriously. Serious people didn’t believe in the things I did or go on a podcast with national reach and swear a total of seven times, then threaten a senator and walk off.
Ma wasn’t impressed with me in that regard. I’d been saved by the fact I’d asked them to tune in and she somehow believed my words had been the first real thing I’d said in a long time. Years. They would be getting to Green Oak tomorrow instead of today, after my father’s suggestion to give everyone a little room to breathe. I didn’t regret lying to them, but I regretted not giving them more grace. A little more credit. I owed them everything, and now that included an apology. But I didn’t even mind catching some heat. They were meeting Josie. And I couldn’t fucking wait for them to meet her.
There was something I’d kept from someone else, too. I’d always been looking for jobs in the Charlotte area. From the moment I was laid off. It hadn’t been just about Josie, although I’d be a fool and a liar to deny that, after going on air and saying all of that. It partly was. But there was always more. Ever since Adalyn had found a home here, it had made me see things differently. Wonder what the fuck I was doing with my life. Josie hadn’t been wrong to ask me why I wasn’t doing something I loved. Something in sports. That was a dream I snuffed out a long time ago in favor of being pragmatic. Comfortable. Content.
The only reason I hadn’t told her that was fear. Fear of chasing a dream I wasn’t sure was for me, and fear of scaring her away. It had always been difficult not to come off too strong around Josie. And it had never been like I’d decided she’d have me in her life, whether she wanted me or not. I would have settled for being her friend. I simply hoped for the possibility of becoming more than that to her.
Steps sounded behind me, and I immediately knew who was there at the other end of what could hardly be called an aisle anymore.
Blue eyes met mine when I turned, and man. She was so beautiful standing there, looking at me like that. Watching her smile had always overwhelmed me.
“You knew I’d be here,” she said. Her lips were pink today, and the idea of kissing that lipstick off them made my chest flare. “You also went rogue.”
“I did.”
“We had a plan,” she added.
“I’d hoped you wouldn’t mind me changing it.”
Her frown was small, but it was one. “I minded.”
I took one step forward. It was small, too, and it made her raise a hand to stop me.
“I also made plans on my own,” she said, voice going breathless in that way that told me she was also overwhelmed at the sight of me, walking toward her. “They were great romantic plans. To reward you.”
“You are my reward.”
She nodded her head, her gaze going a little crazy for a second. Taking in every inch of my expression. Then all of me. Head to toes. Toes to head, stopping at my chest, shoulders, then eyes. I loved the way her face went hazy when she did that. “I found your ring. Your grandma’s. In my box. It doesn’t belong there.”
My words barely made it out. “It’s yours. It always was.”
“I’d like you to put it back on my finger, facing the right way. Knowing it’s there for us. Not for anybody else.” She took a tiny step forward before eyeing what was behind me. The arch adorned with colorful flowers. Her attention returned to me. “I wanted you to before you went on air like that and said all those beautiful things, though.”
“How about you come here,” I said. My tongue peeked out, wetting my lips. I was dying to kiss her. “Tell me more about it. All about these plans.”
“You’re standing at the altar.”
My smile was unstoppable, my words a plea. “I know.”
I saw how my words affected her in the way her lips parted, that light pink flush I’d grown so familiar with covering her cheeks. “Have you not learned anything?” she said, recovering. She took a second step forward. Smaller this time. “I don’t do this part.”
“You do when it’s me on the other side.”
Josie’s bottom lip shook for an instant. She didn’t move, but a smile broke through. “Did you mean that? What you said?”
“Every fucking word.”
A breath left her. “So you do believe in magic. Fate. Gut-feelings. Soul mates.”
“That’s a part of it,” I answered, widening my stance. It was physically difficult to restrain myself from going to her. But she wanted to do this. I could see it in her eyes. In the beautiful way she was stalling. And I wanted her to do it. I’d wait as long as she needed, too. “I also believe in compatibility. In falling in love. In two people finding each other because perhaps they were meant to, but in them also making it work when they do.”
“You should have told me,” she said after a beat, a beautiful emotion clogging her voice. She shifted her feet, moving. “That night. You should have said all those things. Preferably, in my ear. It would have saved us a whole lot of trouble.”
Something caught my eye as she took a new step. Larger this time. It was on her wrist. Her mom’s handkerchief. My restraint broke then. God, I was going to cherish this woman as long as she let me. As hard as I could. I returned my gaze to her eyes. She knew I’d seen it. And there were tears welling up. They weren’t sad, but they broke me, punched me in the gut all the same. I wanted to kiss that away.
“Come here, Josie,” I begged. I was done for. I always had been. “Get over here before I lose my mind. Walk this distance with that handkerchief tied around your wrist and let me show you how much I mean every promise I ever made you.” Her whole body seemed to shake. Tremble. “Go on, Baby Blue. It’s me you’re running to.”
A beautiful laugh left her as she ran, and when I caught her in my arms and lifted her up, I captured her laughter with my mouth. I kissed her, basking in the feel of her lips as they moved around mine. In how having her in my arms felt like one of the best things I’d ever get to have. Not simply enough, but everything. Right. Whether something had led me here, to this spot on this farmland, to this woman who had my heart, or whether there weren’t things like luck, fate, or magic.
“I love you, Matthew Flanagan,” she said against my mouth. “Even when you’re really bad at following plans. And even when you’ve kept from me all these things that would have made me love you instantly.”
“Say that again.”
Her face softened. “I love you,” she said. “You already knew that. I—”
I kissed her again, making sure she knew how grateful I was for getting the right. How deeply I’d fallen in love with her. And when I came up for air, I made sure she could see it in my eyes. All over my face. “That’s my favorite,” I said. “Out of all your smiles.”
She was a little breathless when she asked, “Which one is it?”
“It’s your I’ve just walked down a goddamn aisle smile,” I said, before I placed her down on her feet. “And that’s your don’t ever let me go smile.” I brought her hand up, the one with the handkerchief. I brushed the fabric over my cheek. “That’s your Mom would have loved you smile.” The breathtaking blue in her eyes turned watery. I kissed the corners of them. Then the tip of her nose. Then her lips. “And this one’s your fuck, I love you so much, please take me somewhere I can show you smile.”
Josie laughed. And the sound felt like a bell, signaling the start of something.
It was the start of a life, with her.
And I had every intention of doing all those smiles justice. Every morning, evening, and night. Every dawn, every sunset, every time she frowned or laughed. Every time she saw me standing before her.
For the rest of my fucking life.
The End