Chapter 20 #2
“It helps to talk about things that we’ve suffered, or so Bram is constantly telling me.” A small smile tilted the right side of his mouth.
His was a face made up of so many harsh angles and planes. A face that bore the lines of a life well lived. His was no soft gentleman’s skin.
“Is that what you do? Talk about the things that have hurt you?” Her words were mocking.
“No, I’m terrible at that, but the Nightingales excel.”
She wouldn’t smile at his acknowledgement. It was clear he loved every one of them, even if he tried to hide that fact.
“Go now and tell them all I will return to my duties shortly.”
“You think after what we just learned about your past suffering, we wish for you to carry on as if nothing has changed?” He looked angry now.
“There is nothing that can be done to alter my past. Therefore, I will continue to do what I was employed to do.”
“Did the house fire take your family soon after your father prosecuted Black Harridan’s Boys, Miss Downing?”
She nodded. “I know they were responsible, but no one would listen to me,” Eliza said.
She’d felt alone and desperate for someone to hear her.
No one had, and then she’d become angry.
Someone had taken everything she loved from her and was not going to face consequences for it.
Eliza had wanted retribution, but even her uncle, who had lost his brother, had refused to believe the fire was anything but an accident.
“I spoke with people about my concerns. I pestered the watchhouse and knocked on the magistrate’s door, but no one would listen to me. Then, my uncle arrived to take me away to live with him, so I could do no more.”
“How old were you?”
“Fourteen.”
“Did they find anything suspicious in the fire?”
“If they did, they didn’t tell me. The fire was determined to be of natural causes and the case was closed,” Eliza said, remembering what her uncle had told her one day, two months after her life had been burned to ashes in that house fire.
“Did you see anyone lurking around that day?”
“I wasn’t there. I had risen early and went for a walk. The sun was just rising as I returned, but I saw the flames. My family were inside and sleeping, and hadn’t known what was happening until it was too late.”
The memories now filled her head, and she was back there again, running as fast as she could to the house that had smoke billowing out of the windows.
“I couldn’t get to them. I tried, and I even got the door open, but one of our neighbors grabbed me. I fought him and ran around the house to the rear. I managed to get inside.”
“Easy,” he said as her voice rose.
“I crawled to the stairs and screamed, but the flames were too strong. I woke to someone throwing water over me. Someone had dragged me outside before the house collapsed.”
He was holding her hands, cradling them now between his big, warm ones.
“Your uncle is your father’s brother?”
She nodded. He was unwed, cold and emotionless, but he made sure she was cared for until she shamed him and had been thrown out of his house.
“I am sorry for your suffering, Eliza.”
“Thank you. I too am sorry for what you and your brother are going through.”
He hesitated then, clearly wanting to say something else. “I don’t mean to be rude. It is just my way.”
“Perhaps it is, but then, perhaps I loathe maths equations, but I make an effort to improve by working harder on them,” Eliza said.
“I’ve been this way for many years,” he said through his teeth, clearly not liking her criticism.
“I’ve loathed mathematical equations since I was old enough to read.”
They glared at each other, the momentary peace gone.
“We need to go to that tea shop now. Do you think you can direct us there?”
“I can, yes.” What she wanted to do was fall onto the bed and sleep until she could forget again. Her eyes felt as heavy as her soul. Strange how arguing with Mungo made the numbness inside her ease.
“My niece has been missing for too long, and I worry we are running out of time, especially if her disappearance is in any way connected with the Baddon Boys.”
“I will help in any way I can.”
He exhaled slowly. “I fear for her.”
“If she is related to you, I’m sure she’s strong and opinionated. She will stay safe until you reach her.”
“She is stronger than me and a lot nicer.”
“I’m quite sure you could walk anywhere in London and find at least fifty people nicer than you.”
He snorted.
“Thank you, Mungo.”
“For what?” He frowned.
“The book.”
“It seemed important to you.”
“It is. I can—”
“You’ll not offer repayment. I purchased two others, and yours was the cheapest.”
Clearly in his eyes, the discussion was closed.
“Very well. Tell me, how long has it been since you last saw your brother?”
“Not long enough,” he muttered.
He ran his eyes over her face slowly as she did the same to him, and something in the cool air changed between them. The tension climbed, and Eliza’s chest felt tight.
“I don’t know what it is about you,” he whispered, tugging her closer until her breasts brushed his chest. Until their mouths met.
Shock had Eliza stiffening at the first tentative touch, and then she gripped his lapels. Soft, she thought. His lips were not hard as they should be. One hand released hers and went to her spine, pressing her into him until nothing separated their bodies.
It was a slow and thorough exploration he made of her mouth, and Mungo only released Eliza when he was ready. But she wasn’t ready and wanted to pull his mouth back down to hers.
“Why did you do that?” Her words were a harsh whisper.
“It won’t happen again.” His were cold, unlike the kiss they’d just shared.
In quick, efficient movements, he unwound his scarf and wrapped it around her neck. He then walked back down the stairs.
“Return to the house now, Miss Downing,” he called back over his shoulder. “You are needed.”
Dear God, Mungo Fraser just kissed me, and I enjoyed it.
It must be the emotional turmoil, Eliza rationalized. Neither of them were themselves, and that had provoked a kiss.
“Push it down inside with everything else, Eliza,” she muttered, following Mungo from a safe distance.