Chapter 9
Julia
“What the hell happened at the Kellys’ last night?
” my dad asks, pulling the newspaper down from its spot in front of his face and downing a swig of orange juice.
We’re in our Manhattan flat this morning, which is much smaller than our house in New Jersey, but fun to get away to every now and then.
Plus, it makes it easy when I don’t leave Ace’s parents’ place until four a.m. Not that Ace wouldn’t have let me sleep over—he would have.
But with Drew there, I felt like it was less awkward to leave together.
“Cassie texted me forty times while I was asleep,” my mom chimes in. “Each one getting more and more manic about icing her vagina. I swear I don’t even know how they’ve been our best friends for this long, Kline.”
I roll my eyes and laugh as Evie repeats ice and vagina like it’s a tic. She doesn’t have one, but she’s been watching old episodes of Malcolm in the Middle lately and has a habit of assimilating her real life to go with her TV fixation.
“Gunnar came home from the Bahamas early and threw a party for like five hundred people at their house last night,” I update with the straight facts.
“Ace panicked, of course, so I went over to try to help calm it down, but Thatch and Cassie ended up coming home and kind of joining in, so it was just a party.” I shrug.
This isn’t that outside the realm of normal for the Kellys.
“Cassie said some guy was there with you too,” my mom remarks what she thinks is carefully. It’s hilarious how obvious it is she’s dying to know about him.
“I swear it’s like a CIA network around here. It’s no big deal yet. He’s just a guy from school.”
“Ace texted me about him too,” my dad admits. “Asked me if I own a shotgun. Something about not trusting anyone and doing my dadly diligence.”
What the hell?
I roll my eyes. “He’s being a weirdo. Drew is fine. You don’t have to bust out shotguns or be dadly, I swear. We’ve had one interrupted date and then partied with Ace’s parents. I’d hardly say you need to be knitting grandbaby clothes.”
“Julia!” my mom whispers, but my dad just laughs.
“Well, okay then. Let me know if it gets more serious, and I’ll get involved.”
I giggle. “Thanks, Daddy.”
He winks at me over the paper and goes back to reading it, and I jump up to grab an omelet from the pan and a couple of pieces of bacon.
My grandfather, Dick, got up and made them earlier while he was waiting for my grandmother to come back with their travel trailer during street cleaning.
He finished breakfast and then went down to save the spot for her to park in right after the sweeper went by.
It’s funny, really, but they’re a great example of real love.
Of give-and-take. Of fun and acceptance.
It probably doesn’t hurt that my grandmother has been a sex therapist for her entire adult life, and because my grandparents have zero filter, I have too much knowledge that their sex life reflects that.
And yes, that is very much both disturbing and endearing.
I take my plate and move over to the window seat overlooking the street.
My grandpa moves out of the spot he’s been saving and waves my grandma in with their truck and trailer, a bright-pink sign with a vagina-shaped flower on the side declaring “Heals on Wheels.”
My grandmother, Savannah Cummings, my mother’s mother, is one of the most popular sex therapists on the East Coast. Since hitting the road to see the country in their camper, Savannah has taken her therapy to the streets as well.
She’s helped people in forty out of fifty states, according to her records, and I can practically hear the satisfied moans from here.
My phone buzzes from my lap, and I pick it up to look at it while I watch my grandma park their massive trailer in the middle of Manhattan. Honestly, she’s pretty much a badass the way she can handle it.
Ace: What a fucking shitshow. You would not believe the amount of stuff there is to clean this morning and Gunnar is nowhere to be found
I giggle and type a message back.
Me: He’s probably back in the Bahamas.
Ace: Holy shit don’t even joke because that is so possible
Me: If it makes you feel any better, you’re not the only one with family tales.
My grandparents are backing in their Heals on Wheels travel trailer in front of our building as we speak, and a guy in a blue Buick LeSabre just got out and kissed my grandpa on the mouth before going into the trailer with my grandma.
I’m pretty sure it’s therapy happening in there, but it could be a swingers moment.
Ace: Savannah and Dick are in town? Are you in Manhattan still because if you are you should meet me for breakfast. My mom is passed out on the couch with a bag of peas between her legs and my dad is singing Britney Spears at the top of his lungs while he destroys our baseboards with a vacuum I’m pretty sure I can escape unnoticed
Me: Yeah, we stayed in the city. My mom and dad came in when they started getting the texts about the party, so I could come back here and my dad could come over and intervene if needed. I’m already having an omelet my grandpa made, but you can come over. We’ll go do something.
Ace: Sounds good I’ll be there in 30
Me: Cool. Just one thing, tho… Why are you texting my dad about Drew and shotguns? You don’t trust your own best friend’s judgment?
Ace: New number who dis
Me: Ace. Be serious. You don’t like Drew?
Ace: He’s fine I was just hyped up from the party. No worries okay
Me: I don’t like it. In fact, it kind of made me mad. You should trust me more.
Ace: I’m sorry. You know I trust you. I trust you more than anyone. Even more than Finn and that kid is pretty fucking stand-up you know. This had nothing to do with me trusting you and more me having a hard time trusting other people to treat my best friend right.
Not going to lie, I was pretty pissed off he’d texted my dad about Drew, but I get what he’s saying. And it’s kind of sweet he was being protective of me.
Ace: Fifteen-minute rule?
Me: Yeah. No worries. I’m already over it.
Ace: Fanfuckingtastic. And seriously I’m sorry Lia. I crossed a line I know I did
Me: Water under the bridge.
Ace: Perfect. I’ll see you in 30…unless my mom kills me on the way out and in that case it’s been nice knowing you
I smile and laugh. Cassie’s been threatening to kill her whole family since before I was born, and it hasn’t happened yet. I have a feeling my buddy will make it out alive and well.
Me: See you soon.
I put my phone away and jump up, rinsing my plate in the sink and heading for my room to get dressed. Evie calls out after me. “Where are you going?”
“Out with Ace!” I call back.
It’s no surprise. It’s steady. Ace and I, we’ve always been a set. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
After Ace picked me up, we took the subway over toward campus to have breakfast at our favorite hangout spot. Zip’s Diner is basically a rite of passage for any Dickson student. It’s greasy, it’s kitschy, and it never fails to feel like home whenever we walk inside.
Ace doesn’t hesitate to head over to our favorite booth, and I slide in across from him.
“When did Finn say they’d be here?”
“Any minute now,” he answers and sets his phone on the table. “They tried to back out, but I used my sappiest complaints about all the time they’ve spent without us this summer and needing to download after last night’s party. Plus, I guilted them that Zip would be sad if they didn’t come.”
I laugh. “You are the man with the powers of manipulation.”
“Hey now. I prefer to recognize it as the power of persuasion. It’s what they already want, I just make it more obvious for them, that’s all.”
“That’s how you got Blake Boden to be your friend too, isn’t it?”
Ace laughs. “It might be.”
“Yo,” Finn’s voice greets, pushing Scottie in front of him in her chair and tucking her in her spot at the table before shoving in next to Ace. They do a little bro-hug battle thing before settling down, and Zip comes over to take their drink orders.
We all order our food too, since we’ve been here so many times before and don’t even need to look at the menu, and Scottie starts talking about the party last night with stars in her eyes.
“Listen, I just want to know where Gunnar found some of these people. Lilian Latrain was there. Lilian Latrainnn. Do you know who that is?”
“Obviously not,” Ace says, chewing on a piece of buttered bread and licking his lips when the butter smears on his chin. I hand him a napkin around the table and then take a baby wipe out of my purse for him to use. He hates the smell of butter on his face.
“God, you’re a fucking animal,” Finn teases. “Can’t even keep the food in your mouth, for fuck’s sake.”
Ace gives him the finger and focuses his attention back on Scottie, taking the wipe from me gratefully. “So, who the fuck is Lilian Latrainnnn? We’re all waiting. I could stand to hear something fucking good from that shitshow of a party after all.”
Scottie laughs. “Finn knows who she is.”
“Yeah.” He grins at her. “Because you stalk her videos constantly.”
Scottie squeals. “You say that like it’s weird. She has eight million followers, Finn. The equivalent of New York City’s population.”
“Eight million?” Ace shrieks. “Say what now? Who the hell is this chick?”
“She’s a beauty influencer,” Scottie explains. “And a travel influencer. And kind of an entrepreneur. She comes from a rich family, but she’s built so much wealth of her own.”
“Oh yeah!” I say as realization sets in. “I’ve seen her! She does videos with all the emojis, right?”
“Yes! Her editing skills are top-notch, but she really took off because she was doing a whole skit where she’d make herself look like an entirely different person with makeup and play two parts.
Like, we’re talking Hollywood-level makeup.
At first, it was just two-person skits, but then she started doing full-cast things.
I can’t even imagine the time she put into all the makeup and editing. ”
“Oh my God. Yes! I remember now. She did that scene from She’s All That. Somehow, she looked like Freddie Prinze Jr., Rachael Leigh Cook, and Matthew Lillard all in one video.”
“Yep. That’s one of her most viral. I think like a hundred million views or something crazy. And then she did one like all the ladies from Sex and the City. And full-on looked like all of them! I couldn’t believe it.”
“So, Finn,” Ace interjects, cutting off Scottie’s and my Lilian Latrain talk before it devolves into discussions of the luteal phase. “How about those Mavericks?”
Finn laughs. “It’s okay, Ace. You don’t have to act manly for me. It’s not even football season.”
“Yeah, well, tell that to Boden. The fucker barely answers my calls. Didn’t even text me back about the party last night. My life could have been in danger. He didn’t care.”
“He’s got, like, two-a-day practices,” Finn argues. “I wouldn’t want to drag my ass out in the middle of the night to deal with your shit either.”
“Don’t say that, Finnley. You love me.”
“Yeah,” he grumbles. “Against my better judgment.”
“Oh, stop. If you hadn’t have seen Scottie on the first day of school, you’d be in love with me right now.”
“And what?” Scottie scoffs through a laugh. “I’d still be with Dane?”
“Don’t even fucking joke about that shit,” Finn mutters, his mood sullied so much that Ace and I make wide eyes at each other.
“I should’a killed that kid.”
Ace jerks his chin at me to create a distraction, so I say the first thing that comes to mind.
“Drew asked me out again last night.” A different kind of silence falls over the table, but I keep talking. “Our actual date got cut short by Gunnar’s party, and he says he’s had a crush on me since he met me last year—”
“He’s had a crush on you for a—” Ace starts to ask, but Scottie cuts in before he can continue.
“Well, of course he’s had a crush on you, Jules. You’re the best. Right, Ace? Right, Finn?”
“Right,” Finn says immediately.
Ace watches me closely. I don’t know what he’s thinking right now, but his silence makes me chew on my bottom lip and twist my straw in my water. I don’t want to care so much about what he thinks about every little thing, but I do. He knows me better than anyone.
“Of course he’s had a crush on you, Jules,” he eventually says, and his face softens. “There’s no one better than Julia Brooks. I’m a close second, of course.” He winks at me. “But you’ve always been number one on my list. And I was number one on Finn’s list until Scottie came along.”
Scottie snorts. Finn elbows Ace in the chest.
“Ow,” Ace mumbles, rubbing his chest with his eyes on me. They dance with affection, and I count my blessings that I’ve had a best friend as awesome as him for my entire life.
“I’m sorry I ruined your bromance with Finn, Ace,” Scottie comments with a mischievous smile. “I know the two of you were quite the couple at the beginning of freshman year.”
“Oh God,” Finn mutters. “Please do not encourage him.”
Ace just laughs. “Oh, c’mon, Finnley. You know you miss being my roommate.”
“I miss being your roommate as much as that peg-legged stripper from last night misses her left foot.”
“She was oddly talented, wasn’t she?” Scottie questions.
“From your lips to God’s ears, babe,” Finn comments through a chuckle. “I almost forgot her left leg was wooden when she was playing backup dancer and singer with Thatch and that old dude with the glasses.”
“Dr. Bunnfield,” Ace chimes in.
“Excuse me?”
“The old dude with glasses is my dentist. Dr. Bunnfield.”
“Your fucking dentist was at that party last night?” Finn questions in a shocked laugh.
Ace nods. Scottie starts asking him a bunch of questions about how his dentist ended up at that party last night, and while Ace tries to explain how truly unpredictable his baby brother is, I discreetly pick up my phone to open my text thread with Drew.
Drew: So…have you come to a final conclusion on my second date chances? Not trying to pressure you, but also, if it isn’t obvious already, I really want to see you again, Julia.
I didn’t give him a real answer last night about rescheduling, but that’s probably because I was distracted by how everything was going to turn out for Ace and Gunnar in the light of day.
Now that I know Ace is alive and well and thriving as usual, I feel okay to say yes.
Me: Tell me the time and place, and I’ll put it on my calendar.