Chapter 23
Ace
“Surprise!” we all yell as Finn pushes Scottie inside Zip’s Diner and the door closes behind them. He’s been planning this party for a minute—wanting something special and unexpected for Scottie in the middle of her finding her new normal—and freaking out to me every five seconds in the process.
“Do you think she’ll really be surprised?”
“Is Zip’s special enough?”
“Should I have told her instead of surprising her?”
My best bud is normally composed as fuck, but my God, he’s been a whiny weenie about this shit, and really, with everything I’m juggling on my own, it’s been a lot.
It’s like putting on your oxygen mask before helping others on a crashing plane—I can hardly save someone else from hysteria when I’m on the brink of breakdown myself.
Last year, when he was in the throes of drama with Scottie, it was easy. I was composed. I was promiscuous. I was na?ve. I was, however, in love—I just didn’t realize it yet.
But when I’m honest with myself, I know I’ve been in love with Julia since the beginning. Since we first made our decree. Since we first laid eyes on each other.
“What?” Scottie exclaims, over the moon at our turnout and the volume of our yell. “I thought you were all out of town!” She looks over her shoulder and meets Finn’s eyes, and he’s looking like a proud Pete. “This is your doing?”
Finn grins, the cool customer extraordinaire, and I nearly roll my eyes.
Oh yeah, like he hasn’t been losing his fucking figs over this shit for weeks. I haven’t dogged him about it too much, though. Number one, he’d beat the shit out of me. And number two, I’m a fucking weenie too.
I’ve been officially in the game of pursuing Julia for almost two months, and this shit isn’t getting easier. If anything, it’s getting harder and harder to keep myself under wraps.
Drew isn’t here tonight since he’s still in Aruba—thank fuck—but he’s always there in the background, lingering on her phone with texts and calls and surprise flower deliveries to her apartment. She deserves all of it, but I fucking hate that it’s coming from him.
I should be the guy. I should be the one.
This should be us and our families still all together in twenty years with Julia as my wife and our own kids in the mix.
Sure, I’d probably have our fathers talking to each other instead of still kind of fighting over a crocodile, and Julia’s mom here instead of dog-sitting Yoko for us, but the bones of the evening really are perfect.
Finn winks and leans down to kiss Scottie, and Julia nudges me with her elbow, the excitement over seeing our friends finding some normalcy again overwhelming her.
It’s been a rocky road for Scottie, especially, but Finn too.
I’m happy they’re both finding some footing in each other, even if my smile isn’t as chummy as my girl’s.
“Happy?” I ask, slinging an arm over her shoulder and rocking her into my side as Kayla claps in front of her face before teasingly punching Blake in the shoulder.
Julia is nearly bursting. “Are you kidding? I’m freaking ecstatic. I haven’t seen Scottie this happy in months.”
Tell me about it. Julia is the first to take off for the birthday girl when Finn finally stops monopolizing her space, trapping her in a hug and nearly squashing her limbs with the force of her love. Scottie laughs and, if I’m not mistaken, even squeaks out a few tears.
I wait my turn along with everyone else—there are so many people in here, I can barely fucking move—but when we’re all done with our initial hugs, Julia steals Scottie from the front and wheels her toward the cheerleading squad over by the big speaker in the corner.
Zip’s Diner is literally packed to the brim with friends and family, but my focus, for now, is on Finn and making sure he takes a well-deserved fucking breath. Blake Boden follows me over, evidently having the same instincts as me.
“You pulled it off,” I congratulate, clapping Finn on the back and rocking his big body gently back and forth. “She didn’t have a fucking clue.” I watch as a little stress leaves his shoulders, but then quickly returns when Blake’s face turns angry.
“Nope.”
Finn and I, both trying to suss out the problem, follow Blake’s sight line to Lexi, who stands beside some dude at the other end of the room.
Honestly, Blake looks positively fit to be tied, and I should know because I’ve had the same constipated look every time Julia and whatshisname are cuddle-y and shit in front of me.
It’s the I wanna fucking kill someone face.
It would be a little more confusing if I hadn’t seen him sneaking out of the lake house with Lex on the Fourth of July. I know some shit is going down between them, but I haven’t asked him about it and currently see it as my job to cast enough doubt to maintain his secret.
Lexi, for as sweet as she can be, would absolutely murder me if I were the one to out her secret dalliance with the star quarterback of our school.
And it wouldn’t be quick—it’d be gruesome. She’s too fucking smart not to know all of the very worst ways to torture someone without getting her hands messy.
“Who’s that guy?” Blake asks Finn, his voice all growly.
“What guy?”
“Seriously?” he questions, frustrated. I laugh. I can’t help it. It’s like looking in a mirror, he’s so damn pathetic. “The one talking to Lexi.”
I shake my head. The three of us. It’s incredible. We’re all fucking pitiful these days, and we all used to be so strong. It’s amazing what the power of a once-in-a-lifetime girl can do. Truly.
“You’re fucking intense right now, Boden,” I suggest gently, trying to encourage him to rein it in before the whole party explodes.
“I don’t care.” He meets Finn’s eyes again, desperate. “I need to know who he is.”
“He works at the Hodge Clinic, dude,” Finn explains. “He just came because he’s been working a lot with Scottie.”
Blake nods.
Finn laughs. “You know you sound a lot like a jealous boyfriend right now, right? For a girl who won’t give you the time of day.”
Blake smiles, and I know the edges of the secrets it carries.
For all intents and purposes, I’m guessing he is the jealous but secret boyfriend.
Or at the very least, secret hookup. Fucking hard to imagine with Lexi, but I’d say by the caliber of his glare, the lake house wasn’t a one-time thing.
“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us, Finnley,” Blake says.
“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.”
“The fuck did you just say?” I ask, trying to follow his philosophical bullshit and getting lost somewhere in the middle.
Blake shakes his head. “Never mind. I’m going in.”
“You’re going in? What does that mean?” I ask, scared for him. Lexi is going to eat his fucking shit for breakfast if he fucks up whatever little secret agreement they have by outing their relationship in the middle of Scottie’s party. “What is he doing?”
“I think he’s asking her out.”
“Oh fuck,” I manage with a laugh, trying to play up Blake’s innocence with Finn. “Why do I feel like he’s going to crash and burn?”
“Because he is,” Finn says with a laugh.
We both stand there, watching from a distance as Blake interrupts Lexi and Hodge Clinic Dude’s conversation. It feels a little like watching a car wreck as his hands gesticulate and his face gives 99 of his 100 secrets away.
Lexi’s face doesn’t give anything back, which isn’t a shock, but in the grand scheme, I’m guessing neutrality is the best of all scenarios.
It lacks blood. And gore. And Blake’s carcass sprayed all over the place.
We’re too far away to hear what either of them says, but when Blake turns back around and heads in our direction, he has a big-ass smile on his face.
Mentally, I pat him on the back. I guess, this time, his bravado actually got him somewhere. I’m impressed.
I glance at Julia, wondering again if I’d do better to take the same approach—if I should just finally tell her that I’ve realized I’m in love with her. Whatshisface is still away, and I’d have time to prove my seriousness without interruption if I hid her phone…
It’s a path a lot of people would’ve already taken, I know.
And yeah, it has merit, but it’s also such a shake-up from the status quo, and my worst fears are tangled up in that route.
What if she cuts me off completely? I mean, fuck, we’ve been steady best friends for nineteen fucking years, and then I’m just in love with her?
If she doesn’t feel the same, she might not even want to hang out with me anymore.
“Holy shit, did she…?” I question, looking at Finn and wondering if we’re about to hear the news of a lifetime from the man himself. Blake Boden and Lexi Winslow, an official couple?
Finn just shakes his head. “I don’t know, man, but he looks thrilled.”
Blake comes to a stop in front of us, his whole body a picture of relief.
“So…?” I urge, watching and waiting as Boden casually slides his hands into his jeans pockets and rocks back on his heels.
“I obviously asked her to share our love with the world, and she very graciously said no.”
“What?” Finn blurts out on a snort while I suck in a huge breath of air at the unexpected honesty. “Get real. You got rejected.”
I wheeze, trying to find the strength to go along with Finn to protect Blake’s little secret a while longer.
Funny thing is, I’m a man of secrets—my own and everyone else’s.
It’s not an easy load to carry, but it’s been one of my roles for my entire life.
I’m just a vault like that. “Why do you look so happy about that and, please, even more than that, why are you talking like a fucking poet tonight?”
Blake smiles. “Because it’s only a matter of time.”
I look down, just barely meeting Finn’s eyes as he gives me the get a load of this guy look. I know it, I respect it, I am it. But it’s not my shit to tell. Not this time.
“Mark my words,” Blake says confidently. “That girl will be mine.”
I imagine this is his way of telling us without telling us. Of plausible deniability when we find out eventually and freak out that he’s been keeping such a big secret from us all.
It’s a great plan—one I’d utilize myself, to be honest.
“Finn. Help me out here. Bring this man back down to earth.” I play my part, just as a dutiful friend is supposed to—just as Blake has been doing for me since the moment I flipped out in the club nearly two months ago and had an epiphany about Julia.
“Dude, I can’t judge,” Finn chimes in, bending in his way to make Blake feel better. “I spent four weeks in hospital waiting rooms for Scottie.”
“That’s what I’m saying.” Blake wraps his arm around Finn’s shoulder, happy with the solidarity. “When you know, you fucking know. Right, Finn?”
Finn looks across the room at Scottie, I look at Julia, and Blake looks at Lexi. Three poor saps, just begging the universe to put them out of their misery.
“When you know, you know,” Finn agrees.
Yep. When you know, you motherfluffing know.
Now, I just have to convince Julia to get rid of the guy she’s dating, fall in love with me, and somehow maintain the years of trust, comfort, and assurance our friendship has brought to our lives. Easy, right?
Mercifully, thanks to Cynthia Patreetus, come the start of the semester, Julia will be seeing me all day, every day, and I’ll really be able to kick this dog and pony show into gear.
Speaking of dog, we also have our furbaby son, Yoko. Another important reason that keeps us bonded together like glue.
But when it comes to my best friend and love of my life, I’m not a slacker and I’m not just going to leave anything up to chance.
I’m going to keep finding ways and reasons and situations—even if I have to create them—to put me in her vicinity and showcase all the important traits that make me the perfect man for her.
Day and night, my plan to win Julia’s heart no longer holds regular office hours. This is twenty-four seven, baby, and the stakes are higher than ever.