Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
Tav
I felt like a declawed kitten.
My arms ached, and my head pounded. Was I supposed to have this many orgasms when I was concussed?
That had never been a concern before. My ass was killing me.
I had no defenses. None. Lounging in bed, we’d eaten sandwiches that Con had slapped together with random stuff in his fridge, and they’d still tasted like a million bucks.
Now, all I could do was lay on top of the sheets, my head on Con’s lap, as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“Sorry I freaked out. Again,” I muttered. I wasn’t normally like that. I rarely lost my cool, but I’d done it twice in like twelve hours.
“Don’t apologize for that,” he said.
“Okay.” He must be half-wizard. I vowed a long time ago never to tell anyone the circumstances of my life.
Yet all Con needed was a silk tie and agile fingers to make me spill everything.
I resented him a little, that he was able to get to reach inside me, turn me inside out, until he saw Tav and Husk and all those parts I never wanted anyone to see.
It had to have been ugly. But I was still here in Con’s apartment.
I was in his bed wearing a pair of sweatpants while he wore soft pajama pants that I wanted to rub my face on.
He was still touching me. There was still a lot to talk about.
And despite my admission that I wanted to belong to Con if my life didn’t exist outside of this apartment, the fact was that my life did exist outside of my apartment.
I would have to check in with Chen soon.
If I didn’t, he’d sound the alarm, and if it went up the chain to Devlin…
“I can feel you stressing again.” Con murmured.
I rolled onto my back, head still in his lap, and squinted at him. “You can stop poking around my head anytime now.”
He swiped a finger between my eyebrows. “You get a little line right here when you’re stressed. You don’t have a poker face around me.
“Around you? I guess I don’t.”
“You did last night at the fight. I hated it.”
“That was Husk.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I guess it was.”
“Can I ask you questions now? Or do I have to tie you up and finger your ass to get you to talk about yourself too?”
A laugh burst out of him, a sharp cracking sound that startled me. It startled him too, because it quickly dissolved into an embarrassed chuckle. “That was a good one,” he smiled at me.
“I didn’t think you had it in you to laugh like that.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t so sure either.”
I went silent, waiting for him to offer something without me prying it out of him.
I wasn’t even sure where to start. When I’d laid out my life in front of him, I’d only been focusing on two things—the pain squeezing my heart and his thick fingers in my hole.
But as I looked back, Con hadn’t seemed too surprised or appalled about any of it.
He’d told me he’d have been right next to me burying a body.
He looked down with a soft smile as he placed a hand over my chest, lightly squeezing my pecs.
“I grew up with Devlin in a trailer park in Rathburn, which is about ninety miles outside of Detroit. Along with our other friend, Ben. He was at the fight last night, but I’m not sure you remember him.
He just recently bought Collar. That was why I was at the bar that night we met, to help him decide on renovations. ”
I clasped my hands over my stomach, unsure what to do with my hands as Con rocked the foundation on which I’d built my knowledge of him. While a part of me guessed he hadn’t been born with money, I hadn’t expected him to be childhood best friends with Devlin Walsh, of all people.
“We weren’t good kids. We all came from abusive, shitty homes in one form of another.
” He shook his head. “We were delinquents. We stole from gas stations, boosted cars, robbed people. Devlin got into selling drugs by the time we were in high school, and Ben and I would be his backup in case shit went south. I was never the best fighter, but I could hold my own.”
Just the thought of Con scrapping over a bag of dope was baffling to me. He was so put together, so sophisticated. I gestured a hand around his bedroom. “How the hell did you turn it around into this?”
“I was a juvenile criminal, but I didn’t get caught.
And I didn’t miss school. I got a small scholarship to a local college and took out loans for the rest of the tuition.
Ben came into some money when his grandmother died.
We still weren’t good people well into our twenties.
You have to know that. But Ben and I wanted to be.
We tried to rise above what we were, but Devlin.
..” He shook his head. “Devlin did not. He didn’t want to. ”
I sat up and stretched out my legs beside Con’s, facing him. “What happened?”
Con’s gaze drifted, and he seemed to be battling with something until he came to a decision and once again held my eyes.
“Ten years ago, we parted ways on bad terms. Very bad terms. And then he went off the rails. He started on the path to become the Devlin he is today with ruthlessness. And I’ll always blame myself for having a part in that.
If only I had been able to control him.” He clenched his jaw and looked away.
I’d recognized a weight to Conrad from the first we met, and I hadn’t been able to identify it.
But now I could see some of the guilt he carried over the actions of his former friend.
I squeezed his knee, remembering the way Devlin had dug his fingers into me at the same spot.
“You’re not responsible for anything Devlin does. ”
He stared out his window, face blank. “Maybe one day I’ll believe that.”
“Con—”
“Look I need to rip off a Band-Aid and tell you something. I’m not quite sure how you’ll react, but I’m hoping you’ll understand why I did what I did last night. And why I’ve kept you here and moved all your shit in.”
I didn’t tell him that I would have to be moving all my shit back by tonight before Devlin found out. Even if Con know him back then. He didn’t know him now. “Okay.”
He pulled his lips between his teeth before letting them out with a pop. “I’m Soto.”
Soto? The man encroaching on Devlin’s territory? The one who none of Devlin’s men spoke about unless they wanted a beatdown? I stared at Con.
He stared back.
I burst out laughing. “Right, and I’m fucking Santa Claus.” Con wasn’t laughing, and mine died pretty damn quickly. “Wait, are you being serious right now?”
“Yes.”
Soto was the boogeyman. The name whispered in the dark. The faceless man who’d made Devlin his target. Every time Soto did something to Devlin’s properties, like steal a gun shipment, one of his minions ended up dead because he could never contain his rage.
“A few people know me as an associate of Soto’s, kind of a right-hand man. And even fewer, like a handful, know that I’m really Soto. Or I’m the man behind Soto. Because Soto isn’t really a person but more like a vigilante meant to fuck up anything Devlin touches.”
My laughter was slightly hysterical now. The odds. The fucking odds. That the man who wanted to fuck me in some random bar ended up being the one man who Devlin Walsh feared. How the fuck was this my life? “Did you know who I was when—?”
“I didn’t know you at all. Not one bit. I didn’t usually follow Devlin’s illegal fights.
I tended to put my focus in his sex trade, drug runs, or gun sales.
” His jaw shifted. “But I did ask around about you after you left my apartment that last time. I was done waiting for you to come to me. I was going to go to you.”
“Is that why you were at the fight? Did you know I was fighting?”
“No, I still didn’t know your identity. I was looking for Casey.”
That made me rear back, and I felt defensive of my sort-of friend. “Casey? Why the hell were you looking for him?”
“Because one of my escorts said his friend knew a rent-boy named Casey who had hooked up once with a man with two-toned eyes.”
I swallowed and ducked my head. “Oh.” Then I looked up with a frown. “Escorts?”
“As Soto, I run an escort business. Usually former sex workers who were taken advantage of under Devlin. I vet their clients and provide protection.”
And here I thought Con had been a simple businessman. I’d been so very wrong. I rubbed at my thigh. “Casey wouldn’t have told you anything. He’s loyal.” I glanced up, and Con was watching me. “Him and Lary.”
“Ah, Lary,” Con smiled. “You need to call him. He’s messaged and called me so much that I almost blocked him.”
“Well, gee, Con, I’d love to call him and let him know I’m not dead, but I don’t have my phone.
” I glared at him, and Con just smiled. He pulled open a drawer in his nightstand and there my phone sat, the cracked screen dark.
He handed it to me, and I waited for it to power up.
“I have to check in with Chen. I have to get back to my apartment. They can’t find out I moved my stuff—”
“I already said you’re not going back.”
What wasn’t he getting about this? “And I already told you that Devlin will kill my sister and my nephew if I don’t come to heel.”
Con shifted toward me, and his hand shot out like a cobra strike. He gripped my jaw and tugged my face close. “You will never, ever come to heel for Devlin again.”
“Con—”
“Soto,” he hissed. “I’m speaking as Soto now.
” His blue eyes were frozen shards of ice, hooking me so I didn’t dare look away.
“I have men watching your sister and nephew as we speak, and as soon as I get the go ahead from you, we will be placing them in a secure location until we can handle Devlin. He no longer gets Husk. Husk is dead. You are my Tav, and my Tav only. You told me you wanted this, and that’s what I’ll make happen. ”
I could barely breathe. “Con—”
He wasn’t done. His voice dropped to a glacial whisper. “You belong to me, and I will burn this city to the ground for you.”