Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
Conrad
As we rode the elevator up to my apartment floor, Tav stood in the corner, eyes distant, teeth grinding, hands twitching in the pockets of his sweatpants.
I had emerged from the bedroom with a sleepy Holden to find Tav and his sister in somewhat of a truce.
They had both looked drained, so I had thought it was best to leave and let Amara get some sleep.
I left her with a phone—hers was back at her apartment—with only a few numbers programmed including mine, Tav’s, Ben’s, Nik’s, and the head of her guard, Cameron.
She’d brushed Tav’s hand before he’d left in a slight sign of affection.
Tav’s entire body had swayed toward her, aching for more, but that had been all she’d been able to give him.
I hadn’t faulted for her for that. Their relationship would take time to mend, and it wouldn’t be like it was before. They’d both have to find a new normal.
Tav already given me a summary of their conversation, and I finally felt like I could breathe for the first time since early that afternoon.
But by the time the elevator reached our floor, and I was opening the door to my apartment, Tav was a vibrating bundle of nerves.
He strode inside, sneakers squeaking on the floor as he made a beeline to the kitchen where he began to pace back and forth, fingers spearing his hair as he tugged at the strands.
Anxiety rolled off him in waves as his shoulders bunched around his ears. As I joined him at a much slower pace, he whirled on me. “What if she sleeps on it and decides she hates me? What if she sneaks out in the middle of the night? What if Holden is afraid of me?”
He had himself worked into a frenzy, which I had anticipated.
I reached for him, immediately gripping the back of his neck like he was a wily kitten.
“Tav, listen to me.” His eyes were wild, rolling in his head as his mind likely tossed him every worst-case scenario it could.
“First, I saw how she looked at you. She can’t hate you.
Second, I have a rotating guard outside her door all night.
At least four men awake at all times. I do think your sister is crafty, but she’s not that crafty.
And she wouldn’t risk harming Holden. Speaking of Holden, that boy is resilient and friendly. He’ll love you.”
Tav’s jaw worked, and he searched my eyes as if they held the future. He remained silent, his body tense but shaking like he could fly apart at the seams any moment.
I leaned close until our chests brushed. “Take off your clothes.”
His eyes flared in frustration at first, but heat bled in shortly after. Still, he shook his head in one clean jerk. “That’s not—”
“It’s just us now.” I squeezed his neck, and his shoulders lost some of their tension, so I knew I was doing the right thing. Tav’s body always gave away his thoughts, and all I had to do was pay attention. “Go to the bedroom, take off your clothes, and lay down on the bed on your stomach.”
His eyes went half-mast just like that, and with a deep inhale, he released the air from his lungs. His entire body settled then as his jaw loosened, and his hand came up to brush my stomach. There was no tremble in his fingers. “Kiss me first.”
I pressed against him and touched my lips to his.
He angled his head to deepen the kiss immediately, so I licked into his mouth, stroking over his tongue, and sucked on it for a moment before letting go.
When I pulled back, I could feel the hard ridge of his cock against mine, and his eyes blinked slowly, lazily. “Go,” I whispered.
“Yeah, okay,” he murmured, and slipped out of my grip. He walked all loose-limbed down the hallway, kicking his shoes off into the living room where they landed with a thud. He had his shirt off before he disappeared out of sight.
I exhaled and leaned against the kitchen island for a moment to get my bearings.
I pressed the heel of my palm on the head of my cock where it bulged against the seam of my suit pants.
In the bedroom I could hear the sink running.
The toilet flush. And then the distinct creak of a body settling into my bed.
Talking to Amara and Holden had been harder than I thought.
She was a fierce woman who clearly still held an enormous amount of love for her brother.
Holden was a delight. I had never held a lot of affection for children, but he was cute with his floppy hair, dimples, and endless energy.
He’d eagerly accepted my challenge in a folding clothes race and although his skills were lacking, at least the bedroom had been cleaned up for Amara.
Guilt tore at my insides, and my skin felt paper thin, like even the slightest touch could shred it, leaving me to bleed out.
Not all of Devlin’s victims were faceless to me, but even the ones I knew—like Shane—I’d been able to observe them with a certain detachment.
But not Tav or Amara or Holden. With Tav, I was the opposite of detached.
I had long viewed our relationship as me sinking my hooks into him deep until they locked, but now I realized it was also very much the other way as well.
Tav had speared me with a harpoon straight to the heart, and he’d wiggled himself inside my chest cavity like a hibernating bear.
I closed my eyes, letting the guilted pain streak through me like a rolling wave, until every muscle screamed at me.
And then I forced myself to send it all out with the receding tide.
It’d come again, like clockwork, but tonight wasn’t about me.
This was about Tav. He was stressed and anxious.
Focusing on him was a better use of my time and making him happy was the only time I could rest my soul.
Tonight, I wanted him so fucked out that he couldn’t spend a second worrying about tomorrow.
After another minute, I strode down the hallway, my dress shoes clicking on the wooden floor, and entered the bedroom.
Tav lay on his stomach as I’d instructed, completely naked, with his legs parted to reveal his cock pointed down, hard and flushed against the blankets, surrounded by his heavy balls.
His head was pillowed on his folded arms, and he turned to face me as I walked toward my closet.
I felt his gaze on me as I took my time undressing.
I slipped off my shoes and placed them neatly on my shoe rack.
Then my suit jacket, which I placed on a hanger to be dry cleaned later.
I took off my cuff links and dropped them in their drawer, followed by my watch.
The whole time, Tav remained still and silent, but I could see him watching me out of the corner of his eye, and his back and rose and fell with deep, even breaths.
Once I was naked, I padded back into the bedroom.
I stopped beside the bed. From this angle, on his stomach, he couldn’t see my face, and instead his gaze was on my hardened cock.
I hadn’t come in a week, and just the sight of Tav spread before me like a buffet was enough for pre-cum to bead at my tip.
I was overwhelmed, unsure what to do next, because I wanted to do everything.
I reached out and ran my palm over the back of his head.
Tav practically purred beneath me, and his hips shifted, like he sought friction for his erection.
I trailed my fingers down his neck, kneaded his shoulders, before tickling down his spine to the top of his ass.
He was so thick, just two round globes that tensed and flexed beneath my hands as I palmed them.
“Con,” he murmured, just a wisp of a sound.
I spread his cheeks, and with lubed fingers, circled his hole. His breathing changed, and he picked up his head only to drop it face down into his arms as he let out a low groan. I pushed at the back of his thigh, so he pulled up one leg, bent at the knee, giving me more access.
When I pressed two digits inside, he keened, his muscles resisting me at first until my fingers popped past the first ring to slide up his channel. “Fuck,” he muttered into his arms. “Fuck, fuck.”
I added more lube. More fingers. I worked him until he was a sweaty mess, slick dripping down his balls, coating his cock, wetting the sheets beneath him. His hips humped the bed as I speared him with three fingers, only giving his prostate the barest attention.
And when his whole body was flushed, when his hole was stretched around my fingers, I withdrew them and gave his ass a soft slap.
He groaned, a pained sound, but it was immediately cut off when I gripped his hair and tugged his face toward my cock.
He let himself be dragged like a doll. I held his head a few inches from my groin.
He licked his lips, and I felt the ghost of his breath over my sensitive, wet crown.
I gripped my shaft, wanting to cry at how hard I was, how much this physically pained me to hold back and not just rut into him like an animal. I might have been edging Tav, but I was also edging myself.
“Look at me.” I waited until his gaze finally lifted to mine, and his pupils were so blow, his eyes were nearly black. He braced himself on his elbows, hips still making small thrusts into the bed, so similar to what he’d done that first night in my bed all those months ago.
I let go of his hair and rubbed his bottom lip, which was wet with spit and swollen from where he’d been biting it.
“This is where you belong. In my bed on your belly waiting for me to feed you my cock.” His lips parted as I pressed on his bottom lip.
“This is all you have to think about tonight. Sucking me. Getting stretched by me. Taking my cum. Because it’s been seven days, right? ”
His entire body shuddered, and his eyes fell closed for a moment before popping back open.