3. Octavio
Chapter 3
Octavio
T he candlelight flickered against the polished wood of the dinner table. It casted a comforting glow in a tension filled space. The scent of rosemary and roasted meat lingered in the air. The only sound that could be heard was Monster’s fork and knife stabbing at his Tomahawk steak. Monster’s hands were dark as night and slicked with blood. His hands stained the fresh white cloth beneath his plate. Per usual, Monster was Monster…He didn’t give a fuck.
I shifted my eyes across the table to look at Natavi. Wearily, she shifted in her chair. Her hand curved over her swollen belly as she darted her eyes between him and me. Maybe she’s thinking what I’m thinking…whose blood is he rocking and why?
“Baby? Do you want to pause from eating so I can clean you up?” She asked softly, voice laced with concern.
Her hand left her stomach and moved to her right arm. She stroked her arm lightly in a soothing manner. I swallowed down, my throat grew tight as I looked down at my own clean hands. I glanced back at Monster’s hands and instantly, my hands felt just as tainted as his.
He lifted up his dark, unreadable eyes, a slow smile tugged at his lips. Whenever Monster smiled it hardly ever reached his eyes. In the short couple of months that I got to know my big brother, there was no doubt in my mind that I loved him and was happy to be in his space. Although, being in his space most of the time felt suffocating. In a short period of time, I was able to adapt to Monster’s characteristics. I could also feel his past trauma and the pain that he carried on his shoulders that he hadn’t let go.
“Are you gonna eat?” Monster asked me.
I blinked my eyes twice then looked down at my plate. I forgot all about the food, all I could focus on was the wet blood that started to dry up on his hands.
“Yeah, I was uh—um… waiting on Detavio.” I cleared my throat again.
“No need to wait on him… He’s not going to come,” Monster muttered then gave Natavi his attention.
“I’m leaving after dinner; I got shit to do. You can clean me up later on and then we can discuss you taking a leave from work.” Monster’s voice grew dark with each word he had spoken.
Natavi exhaled sharply then reached for her glass of water with trembling hands. It looked like she wanted to say more but wouldn’t dare go back and forth with him while I was sitting amongst them. It was Natavi that set up these Sunday dinners every week for us brothers to come together. I loved it, but at the same time, my brothers weren’t normal. They made me discover that I wasn’t too fucked up in the head when I realized that they ate and breathed in dark toxicity.
In the daytime, they were one way, but at night when the world was sleeping, they were something different—something darker; they were the men in your worst nightmares come true. Our parents had everything to do with their way of thinking. I went to therapy to try to heal from all of the bullshit that Jalissa put me through since a kid.
It helped a little, the main thing was that I started to embrace and accept myself for who I was. I was more confident and comfortable with my sexuality. I had nothing to prove to a soul but myself. I took in a deep breath and sort of felt like I couldn’t breathe from all the duct-tape wrapped around my chest underneath the buttoned-down shirt I had on tonight.
Monster continued to clear his plate, as I started to pick around mine, with too many unanswered concerns swirling around in my brain. A lot of things didn’t feel right to me. I felt like everything was a little too perfect for all of us. Monster had a successful security company that has grown. Detavio had his hands in so many things with almost every blog posting about him.
He had become a villain celebrity, a lot of negativity smudged his name. Most of it was assumptions after people that was held captive at Impurity’s estate spoke up about the way they were caged, beat, and starved to death. The world assumed that Detavio was a part of it all as well. Detavio’s ‘Meet Me’ was temporarily canceled, people didn’t want to support him.
It didn’t make it any better that bloggers that spoke on him slowly but surely came up missing. Detavio stepped down as ‘Meet Me’ CEO and appointed his assistant, Maylee, as the new face of ‘Meet Me’ after we reunited at his red-carpet event. Detavio seemed content as far as his love life, then two months later something changed within him. I no longer saw Angel around, and that’s when his entire persona shifted.
Him and Monster invested in my porn production company. I named it ‘Forbidden Fruit’. My site had over six million subscribers. ‘Forbidden Fruit’ was the number one rating porn site that the entire world tuned in to. My site had all walks of life, different kinks and fantasies that appeased everyone all in one place. I still enjoyed recording and doing my thing whenever I pleased. I had so many employees that I had to expand and upgrade to a state-of-the-art filming studio building that made the headlines of every blog page including the damn news.
My business partner, Le’mon, was my best friend. He was with me since the very beginning. We worked for the same porn site together, so I brought him on as CEO of ‘Forbidden Fruit’; there was so many things that we wanted to accomplish. First things first was the process of building an underground ‘Forbidden Fruit’ club.
“I’m done, dinner was great…” Monster licked his black lips then cracked his neck from side to side.
“Want to talk with me in the bedroom before I leave?” He asked Natavi.
She shook her head no with a noticeable frown on her pretty, soft face.
“Okay, Octavio. Let’s go. Sunday dinner is over, you can wrap all of that shit up and we can walk out together.” Monster snatched the cloth from underneath his plate and wiped at the corners of his mouth.
He patted his pants and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Once he secured a cigarette in his mouth and had it lit, he focused on Natavi. The tension in the room was thick enough to choke on. I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms. This wasn’t the first time I witnessed the two of them go at it.
“I guess you’re leaving once again,” she spat.
Natavi snatched her plate from the table, causing food to spill over. She still hadn’t stood to her feet; it felt like I could foresee her fury and it wouldn’t be nothing nice. I didn’t think Monster understood the different emotions that came from hormones inside of a pregnant woman.
“Don’t make this into a big deal, it seems like you love to find ways to upset you and the baby. Put the plate down and go rest. The maid will be here for the night shift clean.” Monster exhaled.
Natavi shot up from her seat so fast that the legs of the chair screeched against the floor then snapped with force as she stood. My gut clenched at the sound, hoping that she didn’t stumble. Her chest heaved up and down violently. Monster’s facial expression didn’t alter. He stared at her with his jaw tight, his hands flexed at the side of his plate.
“Natavi…sit—the—fuck—down. Calm down before I make you calm down,” he gritted his words out slow and deliberately.
Her nose flared in defiance as her hands curled into fists.
“I’ll be gone less than an hour.” Monster stood to his feet and circled around the table.
Both of them stood toe to toe, Monster’s height towered over Natavi.
“I’ll wait outside; thanks for the dinner, Natavi.” I stood without thinking twice.
I quickly made my way through their house and found my way to the porch. I exhaled the night air and watched my breath fade into nothing. The wooden boards that needed to be replaced on the porch creaked beneath my weight. I looked up at the moon and wished that my thoughts were as silent as the sound of night. I ran my hand down my face and hated the uneven feeling that consumed me. There was a weight that pressed down on me, and it wasn’t just about the way things went tonight. I felt this every single night. I glanced back at the door then gazed into the window. Monster stood with his arms folded as Natavi twisted her neck and yelled at him at the top of her lungs about spending time and always leaving her.
Did she truly understand that he never had a real chance? I understood it and hadn’t even known him my whole life. Monster wasn’t like other people, and neither was Detavio. The three of us didn’t grow up with love, we grew up with scars. Any dreams that we had while we were young, turned into nightmares. We never was normal, we were built from something else. With Monster and Detavio, they were something colder, darker, and most of all broken.
I often wondered if we even deserved love…We hadn’t attempted to fix the broken pieces inside of us to give someone else a fair shot. I gripped the railing, my fingers dug into the chipped wood. Everything felt still, so perfect in the moment. Yet, I could feel beneath the surface and foresee shit spiraling out of control for the three of us. The worse part about it all, I knew that there was no stopping any of it.
I didn’t know what it meant for Detavio and Monster. For myself, it felt like someone was after me. My therapist labeled it as me being paranoid from past traumas, but there were certain faces that I laid eyes on in public that just felt out of place to me. I hadn’t told my brothers about all of the weird notes that was left in public places for me to find.
I stepped off the porch and walked toward my Chevy Tahoe to lean up against it. I couldn’t walk a straight path without looking over my shoulder with the same feeling of someone watching me from afar. My jaw tightened as I reached into my jean jacket pocket. My fingers brushed over one of the notes that I found earlier today.
The paper was soft and red, I brought it up to my nose and took a long sniff. It smelled floral and sweet. I read it lowly aloud to myself.
I see you. I know you. I love you. I need you. Stop covering yourself…you’re perfect to me.
I found it stuck to my driver’s side window when I left ‘Forbidden Fruit’ headquarters. The other one was taped to my locker at my private gym two weeks ago. A month ago, another letter was tucked between my windshield wipers. Each time, I found letters in a different place. Whoever it was, wanted me to know that they were close enough to see me and watch me for however long.
Someone was obsessed with me, they craved me, and I was a hundred percent sure that it was a woman that I once had relations with. I didn’t think it was important for me to inform my brothers because, in my eyes, it was harmless when it probably wasn’t. It intrigued me to no return, and maybe that was the twisted side of me.
“Women.”
I jumped at the sound of Monster’s deep voice behind me. I turned around to face him. His complexion was as dark as night, he chuckled dryly then flicked his cigarette.
“She okay?” I asked.
I crumpled the note and shoved it down into my pocket. Monster opened his mouth to talk but stopped when he heard muffled noises that came from his trunk that was parked on his perfectly manicured lawn.
“She’ll be okay. I’ll ask her doctor about all of her mood swings. For now, I’ll take care of her when I get back home. As you can hear, I have important things to wrap up.” He smirked evilly.
His gold grill looked like it was freshly shined to perfection.
“Why do you kill, Monster?” I blurted out before I could stop myself from prying into his personal business.
“Form of therapy, I guess.” He shrugged.
Moments of silence shifted between the two of us. He tucked his hands into his pockets and locked eyes with me.
“You can’t sweat the little things that you discover between Detavio and I. You’re well protected,” he stated clearly.
The sounds of someone kicking from his trunk caused my eyes to shift.
“Therapy…” My words trailed off.
“You ever felt like there was something inside of you that you can’t let out? Like a weight that presses down in your chest when you lay down at night…there’s always a noise in my head that I can’t silence until the next kill. Once I kill, that noise shuts the fuck up for a few days until it returns. Anyone that dies by my hands deserves it,” he spoke with conviction.
“In your eyes you feel like they deserve it?” I asked for clarity.
“Yes, only in my eyes they deserve it,” he retorted.
Silence stretched between us; it was thick and suffocating once again. His way of thinking was sick, and he needed help. I knew that it wasn’t how the world worked. I also understood that beneath his years of pain, rage, and the things he refused to talk about, ate away at him silently.
The worst part about it all, was somewhere deep down inside…I knew that Monster would never change. People around him had a choice…embrace him for who he was or don’t be around him at all.