13. Thayla #3
A…I don’t want to call it bitter, but a very disappointed smile spreads across her lips.
“I’m an Attendant,” she says, the word rough on her tongue. “Do you hear how insane that sounds? Me?”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” Yemi says.
“It is,” Mara grunts before wincing. “No. Fuck. See? That’s exactly the problem. I know it’s not actually bad. I know there’s nothing wrong with the fact that I’m an Attendant. It unfortunately makes terrifying sense. But my…”
She shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut.
“Your family isn’t going to accept it. They didn’t accept you before now,” Yemi mumbles as she scoots closer to her.
“Don’t know how you fucking know that, but yeah.
Pretty much.” She sighs and scrubs at her forehead.
“I’ve never done anything up to standard for them.
I really thought being in a Valtrue with the God of Strength was going to, I don’t know, convince them I’m worth a fuck, but it really didn’t do much.
Now this. Once they know, they’ll wipe their hands clean of me. ”
“And that’s bad?” Rose asks. “I don’t mean to come off as rude, but your family kind of sounds horrible. Wouldn’t you like to be free from their judgment?”
“Yeah, I suppose. I guess I just hoped—”
“That eventually they’d come around and all the work you’ve put in over the years wasn’t for nothing. It wasn’t a big waste of time,” I say.
She arches a brow. “Speaking from experience?”
I tsk. “Unfortunately.”
That earns me a small laugh.
“If it’s any comfort to you, your schedule isn’t going to change very much. The structure of the Attendants has already changed dramatically, and with everything going on, you’re already right where the Godsdawn needs you to be,” Yemi says.
“I wouldn’t be completely opposed to some changes.”
I almost choke on a berry.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” she admits. “If I had it my way, I’d stick with you on our training days, but on the others, I’d actually like to be somewhere else besides the Court or barrier. I need some time to learn my actual power, and I do have interests outside of slinging swords, you know.”
No, I didn’t know. It’s good to know, though. I’ll inform Amick.
“Well, if what we believe is correct, which I’m confident it is, your other three men won’t be Defenders, so you can go off with them and see their roles.
Experience all kinds of things,” I say. The disgust written across her face confuses the shit out of me.
I match the look. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You just called them my men. They’re my Valtrue members.”
Oh…right.
“So you’re not open to joining these two’s little club and having four boyfriends?” Rose asks as she wiggles her eyebrows.
Yemi and I share devious smiles, but they fade at the horror-stricken look Mara’s giving us.
“Oh gods,” she whispers. “Is there something about true completed Valtrues that makes you fall in love with four men?”
Rose’s mouth forms an O before she brings her glass to her lips and diverts her gaze from ours.
“I mean, not necessarily, I suppose,” Yemi says. “I don’t really know how it’ll be for you, but there was definitely a pull to each other between my men and me.”
Mara glares at her, but her eyes are distant like she doesn’t really see Yemi.
“Do…” How do I ask this gently? “Are you attracted to Gladian? At all?”
Bluntly, I guess.
“What? No, absolutely not. Are you kidding me?”
Even if my mind didn’t buzz with the lie, the way she tears her eyes from us and laughs nervously would speak the truth.
“Okay then,” I say, curling my bottom lip between my teeth to keep from laughing at her.
“Well, if you’re not attracted to him, then you probably won’t be with the others.
If, by some crazy chance that changes, though, that’s okay and honestly the easiest part of growing as a Valtrue.
The true battle is learning how to exist beside people who see too much of you.
Parts you’d really rather never let anyone see. They eventually become…your family.”
Yemi hums in agreement, smiling to herself. Even Rose is a little doe-eyed, no doubt thinking about Lambrit, although they aren’t a Valtrue. There’s definitely something special there.
Mara’s breathing grows deeper as she stares at us. I swear she’s seconds away from flipping her shit. Finally, after the silence stretches for too long, she shoves herself to her feet.
“Do you think it’s too late?”
“Too late for what?” I ask.
“To stop them from going and finding the other three? I cannot deal with being attracted to four men. I’m already in constant denial over the fact I want to climb Gladian like a damn tree.
And now you’re telling me, that feeling could multiply by three?
No. Fuck no. Call them off. Tell them I’m not ready to meet them. ”
My eyes grow to the size of saucers as she paces through the water. Yemi, Rose, and I flick our attention from her to each other, then back at her.
“Mara, you might be getting ahead of yourself.”
“Ahead of myself, Yemi? Seriously? You and Thayla are literally living proof that this is going to happen. No. I’m not ready for that. Call them off,” she demands and I pop my lips apart.
“I mean, technically, my soul was split and given to them so—” Her fierce scowl has me zipping my lips. “Okay then.”
Yemi and Rose attempt to talk her down, but she’s not listening to any of it.
“V, will you tell the guys to abort on finding the other three, please? If Gladian pitches a fit, just inform him that Mara’s flipping her shit and isn’t ready to meet them.”
“I…”
“What?” I ask.
“I’m afraid it’s a little late to call anything off.”
Aww fuck.
My nose scrunches as I turn back to Mara.
“What?” she asks.
“You’re just going to have to put your big girl panties on. I’m sorry.”
“No,” she groans and plops back down in her seat.
“Hey, the plus side is, you’ve got time to question us. We’ve become quite the experts on juggling four men,” Yemi says with an encouraging smile.
Mara glares.
Poor little God of Strength.
Welcome to the club.