25. Thayla
Thayla
Let me go.
Let me go.
“Get off me!” I bellow as I break free from the strong arms holding me. They latch onto me again as soon as I scramble to my feet.
My power of Boundaries lashes out behind me, slinging them away as I sprint across the chamber and crash to my knees beside V.
A vicious tremor races through my fingers as I hover them over his body.
No, no, no. This isn’t real.
This isn’t real. It’s not happening.
“V, please,” I beg.
“T-Thayla.”
“Oh gods,” I gasp, cradling his body to mine as I lift him. “Hold on for me, please. I’m getting you out of here.”
My neck whips toward the hall at the sound of thundering footsteps. The orders being bellowed have multiple curses echoing around me.
“We have to go right now. The power around the room is down, but I don’t know for how long,” Amick says, scowling over at his father’s prone body.
Him.
Turn him to ash.
Don’t even think.
Just do.
“N-no, my Vedae.”
V’s broken voice snatches my attention back down to him and my jaw locks.
“I’m getting you out of here. Just hold on for me.”
“Now. We have to go now,” Kyzen bellows.
My power roars to the surface of my skin at my command and hope flares in my heart.
Then instantly dies.
I…I can’t wrap it around him.
“No, no, no,” I wail. “I can’t starshoot him.”
Again, multiple curses float through my ears, and I rock back and forth, refusing to lay V down.
“I won’t leave you. I swear to the Gods, I—”
Gods.
Another thought doesn’t cross my mind. My head tilts back as I look at the ceiling.
“Valthaneus!”
The shriek of his name rebounds off the walls and each time the echo returns to me, it’s like a punch to the chest.
“Valthaneus!”
I scream again.
A sob breaks free from me as V’s blood pools through my fingers. The hot stickiness seeps into my armor and bathes my body.
“Hold on, please. Hold on. Help is coming.”
“Please…” I pray. “Dad, please. I need you.”
A bright flash of light flares through the chamber and not a millisecond later, my father rushes forward. Then skids to a stop. His head shakes and his lips part as he stares at me, my hands, then back at my crumbling face.
He staggers a few steps forward, then drops to his knees. His fingers drift over V’s fluttering eyes.
“Varnie,” he mumbles.
“T-to the hot spring, my boy.”
A groan sounds and our heads whip toward Kirabaddon as his neck rolls around. Heat flashes over my skin and rage like I’ve never felt roars through my blood.
Before I can do anything, my father stretches his hand out.
A barrier blasts into Kira so hard, his body flies through the stone wall so deep we lose sight of him.
“We must go,” my father says, then glances around at everyone.
With no warning whatsoever, his power wraps around all of us.
My body hits hot water not a moment later.
“Someone get Seismet and Verlet,” I yell, lowering V into the water. “Hold on, V. They’re coming. They’ll tell me what to do.”
“Thayla girl,” he says, forcing his trembling wing to cup my cheek. “There’s nothing that can be done.”
“No, no. Don’t say that. There’s plenty that can be done. We just have to wait for them. You have to hold on.”
I sling my gaze up to my father. I find him kneeling at the edge of the hot spring with my men and our friends on their knees behind him.
“There’s plenty we can do, right? The Veilatara will know. You know. You’re a Beginning God. Tell me what to do.”
I beg.
His bottom lip trembles and the lone tear that slides down his cheek pulls a scream from my throat.
“Gods damn it. Vullie, give me a vial.”
“T-Thayla,” he stutters.
“Don’t Thayla me. Throw me a fucking vial.”
Riven motions him to do as I said, and my teeth grind together at the looks on everyone’s faces. I don’t bother screaming what I want to scream at them, but everyone’s pissing me all the way off.
I rush to the edge of the hot spring and snatch the vial Vullie passes me. In one swift motion, I pop the cap off and press it to V’s beak.
“Here, drink. This will help.”
My soul shivers as I tip the liquid down his throat. Some of the purple slides down the sides of his face and I freeze at how the brilliant luminescent water has turned red around me.
No, no, no. That’s too much blood. Way too much.
“Listen to me, Thayla.”
Tears threaten to blur my vision as I meet V’s eyes and no matter how many times I blink, they won’t fucking go away.
“If you’re trying to tell me goodbye, then no. I don’t want to hear that shit. You’re not leaving me. Do you understand me? You can’t leave. You can’t leave me.”
Sobs slice through my chest as I cradle his body even closer to me. The more he wanes the smaller he becomes. His weight continues to become easier yet so much heavier to hold.
No matter how many times I ask everyone what to do, no one answers me.
Two powerful, soul-stopping neighs breeze through the air, and my watery gaze jerks to the Veilatara. Their trots slow to an abrupt stop.
“V…” Seismet says low.
“Please, Seismet. Tell me what to do.”
A low, mournful purr vibrates in the back of his throat, and I release a blood-curdling scream.
“Stop giving up! Everyone, stop right fucking now!”
I lean my forehead against V’s small body, begging, pleading, and praying for him not to give up.
I pray to the Valories, the Messenger, the God of Creatures—hell, I even call out to Willow, although she’s a realm away.
I just need someone to please do something.
“Thayla, y-you have…”
A rattling breath steals V’s words and I shush him quietly.
“Stop trying to talk. Save your strength. I’m going to figure this out.”
“My endling.” My head jerks up at Creed’s gentle voice and my head shakes. “Listen to what he has to say.”
“No. Don’t say that to me. Please.”
A gasping cry snatches the air from my lungs as my tears flow fast down my cheeks.
“Please don’t say that to me again. I can’t do this again. I can’t. Please, Creed.”
The water that gathers in his eyes cuts me to my core and mine drift shut.
If I can’t see it, it’s not real.
“It’s just you and me, my Vedae. Listen, please.”
I suck in as much air as I can, although it isn’t enough. There’s a lump the size of Godsden sitting in my throat that’s constricting my breathing.
“I…I-I’m listening.”
“You have been my most freeing Vedae. Every day spent with you was like experiencing the dawn of time all over again. New, courageous, and so free.”
My sobs slash free from my chest and my fingers burrow deeper into his feathers. His soft, soft feathers.
“V…please.”
“I have one more truth to tell you,” he whispers. “My name, my full name, is…Varnie Godrun.”
His last name catches me so off guard that my crying stills for the briefest heartbeat.
“Given and blessed by the Valories. In the way and language of Old, Godrun means the one who carries creation forward.”
His voice is barely more than air now and my brow furrows.
“My purpose was to make sure there was always another way. Kira was my sixth Calling among the Beginning Gods and by that time, I didn’t know if there was another way. Until…”
He takes a deep, struggling breath, and I lay my hand against his chest.
“Until your father. He was my last Calling among them and the one that lasted the longest. The first time I looked into his eyes, I saw you. I have waited thousands of years for you.”
My gaze flicks to my father’s, but I can’t hold his stare. The tears burning streaks down his cheeks cleave my heart.
“He was the only Beginning God entrusted with my full name. And when the time came that he needed to hide his greatest creation…from the greatest destruction…he bestowed you my name so you would blend with society. You were never going to blend, Thayla Godrun.”
His wing trembles as he caresses my cheek. I can’t help but lean into the comforting embrace.
I can’t go the rest of my life without ever feeling this again.
“Please don’t leave me,” I whimper.
“I will never truly leave you,” he mumbles. “Tell me what we taught you about the power of Obliteration.”
Even the mention of the power makes my skin shiver. My rage is desperate to be set free. Set loose on the fucker who did this.
I never want to use that power again.
“D-don’t think like that. Tell me, what is Obliteration’s purpose?” he asks so low.
It takes more effort than I have right now to sift through my mind and figure out the answer to his question.
But I do figure it out.
“It was supposed to provide breathing room for Creation.”
“T-that is right.”
Light beams from V to me, and my chest cracks open as warmth beyond comparison or explanation fills my heart. It’s the greatest and most devastating sensation I’ve ever felt.
“Every creature…every goddess or god…every star in the sky…has a purpose beyond existing. Because of you, I have fulfilled mine.”
His voice grows softer.
“So…fulfill yours, my Vedae.”
The light fades and his wing slips from my cheek.
“No.”
The word leaves me in a whisper.
“No…”
White mist begins to drift from his body and my heart stops.
“No.”
My fingers claw desperately into his feathers as though I can anchor him here through sheer will alone. It’s not working. I feel him fading.
“V!”
The vapor slips through my hands.
“No. Please.” A scream rips free so violently my throat burns. “I wasn’t done.”
The white grows brighter yet, his outline softer, smaller, until I can’t tell where feathers end and light begins.
Another sob tears through my chest.
“I still need you.”
The warmth inside my heart answers. Not with words.
With him. With every lesson.
Every impossible task he convinced me I could survive.
Every quiet moment where he simply stayed or showed up exactly when I needed him to. Every teasing argument shared between him and Seismet.
His light, the light of his body, soul…he drifts toward the sky. My shaking gaze falls to my empty hands.
Blood.
Feathers.
They cling to my fingers.
Creation needs breathing room.
The words don’t echo through my mind.
They settle into my soul and fresh sobs wrack my body.
“I hate this,” I whisper. “I hate this so much.”
My shoulders shake harder and a gut-wrenching cry leaves me.
“But I love you more.”