33. Thayla
Thayla
Morning came far too quickly.
It felt like I’d only closed my eyes for a heartbeat before I was standing at Annalise’s front door again.
This time, packed bags waited by the entrance. She put up one hell of a fight yesterday about leaving her home, her husband, everything. I understood, but Ellian, Riven, Lambrit, and I weren’t wavering.
She negotiated when she’d leave, of course.
She wanted the day to pack for the kids, spend time with Ellian, and cook one last meal in her home. I couldn’t deny her that.
It took everything in me to keep a brave face when I said goodbye to Laney this morning. She was so excited about going on vacation for the first time. It tickled her when Lambrit and I admitted we’d never been on one, so she was doing something we hadn’t.
As she hugged me with that bright smile and all her excitement, my stomach cramped with fear that it’d be the last time I saw her. I shoved the thought away.
I nearly broke when she held my dad’s hand as he starshot them away.
After that, the day didn’t stop.
The Court filled with Defenders and Attendants squeezing in as much last-minute training as they could.
The newly cleared land at the barrier became a sea of drills, formations, sharpened steel, and shouted orders.
Every spare moment went to preparing someone, moving something, or solving a problem I didn’t know existed.
A lot goes into planning a war. It’s a damn strategy game I don’t know how to play, but thank fuck my men do.
They made sure everyone had a job.
Amick, Yemi, and Lambrit are in charge, keeping everyone on track. Rose is too damn sweet for any of this, but she refuses to sit it out. So she’s keeping everyone calm and focused.
Iric and Prath are assembling healers. Doren and Nero have been bringing in allies. Alamar and Evani arrived around lunch. Otiero will be here tomorrow. They’ll all contact the gods they trust to stand beside us.
Vullie and Riven are whipping up shit I honestly don’t want to know about. Havar is rounding up the Veilatara that can be freed. Creed, Kyzen, Sevryn, Mara, Gladian, Barir, my dad, Meridamus, and I are readying the army. Mara is also spending every spare moment working on her power.
According to Amick, I’ll need her to Elevate me once the war starts.
By midday, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had water. By afternoon, I wasn’t sure I’d stopped moving long enough to think straight. Strangely, I found comfort in staying busy. Comfort in knowing everyone around me chose to fight beside us. For the realm.
“We just got home. Why are we leaving?” Riven groans dramatically as he throws himself on the couch.
“We aren’t leaving. I am. I need to go speak with him,” I say, hands on my hips.
He faces me with an offended sneer. “You’re not going anywhere alone.”
“It’s literally Derivius’s temple. I’ll be fine. Some help here.”
Traitors.
Kyzen, Amick, and Creed all stare like I’ve lost my ever-loving mind.
“Can’t this wait until morning? He’s busy sweet-talking my egg donor into giving over her Binding like he’s supposed to be doing.”
That’s exactly what I need to speak to him about.
“No, this can’t wait,” I say, heading for the front door. “Also, I wasn’t asking for permission. I was letting you know I was going.”
A smirk crosses my mouth when four sets of footsteps stomp behind me. If they’d listened when I tried telling them I needed to see Derivius before we left the Court, we wouldn’t have had to come home just to turn back around.
The cooling night air greets me as I push through the door and take a deep breath. The sun had just set when we dismissed everyone from the Court. Now the sky is darkening, stars poking out.
I swear the sun rises and sets faster these days.
“You have something planned you aren’t sharing,” Amick says, falling into stride.
I chuckle at the small scowl on his brow.
“It’s not some crazy plan, but yes. I’ve decided to cleanse the Bindings tonight. Tomorrow’s a big day. I want all my power saved up and ready. So I’m talking to Derivius—alone—and then going to the hot spring. It’ll be good for all of us to soak our muscles anyway.”
“Now you’re talking,” Riven cuts in, slinging his arm over my shoulders. “Why didn’t you lead with the hot spring plan?”
I probably should have.
“I agree it’d be good to cleanse our father’s Binding tonight since it’s in bad shape, but we don’t know if Derivius has Rella’s or not. Other than promising he’d have it in time, he’s been secretive about how he’ll acquire it,” Amick says.
Yeah…I’m aware.
“Why do you want to talk to him alone?” Kyzen asks.
A low laugh escapes me, rolling into a sigh.
“We’ve been off since that night in his temple, and it’s my doing. I need to clear the air.”
They don’t press, and I appreciate it. It’s not that I don’t want them to know what I’ll say to Derivius. I just want to do it alone.
“Let’s starshoot. I’m tired of being on my fucking feet,” Creed grunts.
“Grouchy, grouchy. You definitely need time relaxing in the water,” Riven teases, earning himself a fierce, adorable sneer.
“Yes, my sweetling, let’s starshoot,” I say, laughing as I wrap my power around me.
A couple seconds later, we pop up one after another in front of Derivius’s temple. My fingers flex at my sides as I try to ward off my sudden nerves.
“We’ll be right here, little goddess,” Kyzen says before laying a kiss to my forehead.
I nod a couple times and force my feet forward.
Light flickers across the floor from the torches, casting Derivius’s statue in a yellow glow. I twirl as I walk and admire my handiwork again.
I did do good, but he deserves more.
“Well, what a nice surprise, little troublling.”
I hold in my shriek as I whirl around. The teasing smirk on his lips has me rolling my eyes.
He looks tired.
“Have you been busy?” I ask.
“Always.” He laughs, forced. “To what do I owe this pleasure? I didn’t expect a surprise visit.”
For a breath, I just stare at him. My mind races over everything he’s done, everything he’s taken the blame for, every secret he’s kept to protect us.
He deserves better.
“It’s time to hand it over,” I whisper.
His humor fades and he tilts his head.
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Your Binding. It’s time to let it go, Derivius.”
His eyes flare for a second before he tosses his head back laughing and stands from his throne.
“You’re mistaken. You already have my Binding. I’m doing everything I can to procure Rella’s.”
My mind hums and a sad smile dusts my lips as I step closer. He keeps a straight face, but barely.
“We both know that isn’t true. That day you stole Sabe’s, it wasn’t yours you took to the nonmagical realm. It was Rella’s. You took what little piece of power you could back from the two women who hurt and held power over you.”
His frown deepens.
“This is ridiculous. I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t have time for this tonight.”
“Don’t walk away from me, Derivius,” I plead as he spins like he’s about to leave.
His shoulders rise and fall with measured breaths. I move closer.
“It’d seem your mother shared more with you than I thought she would,” he mumbles, bowing his head and turning back.
“She didn’t tell me the truth. Not about that anyway. I put this together on my own.”
“Pray tell how,” he says, linking his hands behind his back.
“A lot of broken pieces that had to be put together one by one,” I say low, then let a harsh breath spill out.
“When Amick first touched Sabe’s Binding, he saw its truth. The horrors it had done. After meeting Willow and she gave me the second Binding, I realized those horrors had been done in Elementra.”
His lips tighten. Guilt flashes across his face.
“Now that I know everything about the Bindings, things that didn’t make sense started to click.
First, Willow isn’t a god. Not a Valorian one anyway, which means she or the strange magical guy you lost the Bindings to had to make an agreement with the Binding for it to work.
One Binding in particular would make that possible, and once the agreement was in place with that one, any other would follow. ”
He stares down at his shoes, kicking at nothing. His silence is more telling than any argument.
“At Yemi’s, after the Vitos left and we told all of you the truth, at first you didn’t claim it.
You asked where I hid the second Binding.
When I wouldn’t tell you and told you to hand over yours, you smirked and said I already possessed it.
I think that’s the first time you’ve ever actually lied to me. ”
“Thayla—”
I hold my hand up.
“When Doren tracked the Bindings, one was in the Neutral. That baffled Amick because he couldn’t understand why Rella would be paranoid. It was out of character. Then my dad told us all the other gods believed you hid yours when you stole Sabe’s.”
I breathe, meeting his pleading gaze.
“Rella told you she wanted time and space after everything, so you got drunk, stole Sabe’s Binding, and went to the nonmagical realm.
When you returned, she was colder toward you.
After hundreds of years, the only reason she’d be is if you took something from her when you left.
And I think that’s exactly what you did.
You hid your Binding here but took hers and Sabe’s with you.
The only piece I can’t figure out is why she didn’t tell the others. ”
His features gut me. His eyes shatter, swelling with water he won’t let fall. His throat bobs.
“Everyone had already disowned me, but she…” He gives a humorless laugh. “She wasn’t satisfied with that. Her knowing and holding it over my head was my personal punishment. At any moment, she could let the truth out and end me completely. She’s been waiting for the right moment.”
His words carry centuries of weight. They sit on my chest until my heart aches.
“You’re afraid to let go of the last piece of power you have.”
He closes his eyes.
“I was always going to give it to you. What you all have to do is far more important than my issues. I just…”
“Wanted to hold on a little longer,” I whisper.
“Yeah.”