Epilogue
EPILOGUE
SMOKE: SIX WEEKS LATER
“ F uck, you look so good, sugar,” I say from my spot behind her as I thrust my cock deep into her pussy.
She’s wearing a small butt plug, a training one, with my initials on it.
She’s on her knees in the center of the mattress, face down on the sheets.
Her arms are spread out towards the edge of the mattress on each side.
They’re tied down with deep burgundy ribbon that reminds me of the highlights in her hair when the sun catches it.
Her cheek is flush against the sheets, and her back is perfectly arched.
I can see the bumps of her spine and the dimples in her smooth, unblemished ass cheeks.
I don’t know who needs this more, me or Quinn.
But knowing how the day is going to shake down, I needed something life affirming.
And given Quinn told me fifteen minutes ago that she slept like shit, I knew I had to get her out of her own head before we move ahead with my surprise.
Worry in my game is a death sentence.
Like a wildfire, anything that takes your head away from what you’re doing is a risk.
She’s already come.
Twice.
But I could see she was grappling with the idea that it should have been my turn to come.
Tying her up is sometimes to show her it’s not about turns.
It’s about what I feel we need.
What she needs. Sometimes I make her come over and over; sometimes I use her to make myself come while holding her on the edge.
When she can’t think about anything other than her own body and the way she feels, when she knows I’m using her body how I see fit, she can get out of her own head and enjoy what’s happening.
I place my thumb on the base of the butt plug and wiggle it gently.
It’s so small, I can barely feel it against my cock, but knowing she agreed to take it for me has the same physical effect.
Quinn groans. “Please. It’s too much.”
I grin.
She says this a lot when she’s close but feels greedy, or when the climb to the final orgasm feels to steep.
“Take it for me like the good girl you are.” I love the way my hands span her hips as I grip them, encouraging her back and forth on my cock from tip to root.
Her cream coats me. It’s messy, and occasionally we make the sound of slurping between us, and honestly, it’s all I can do to hold off coming when we do.
Always thought sex sounds were fucking hot.
I slide my hand beneath her and reach for her clit.
It’s fucking rock hard, the area around it puffy from the way I slapped and licked her to her first orgasm.
“Ahh,” she cries. “Smoke. No, please.”
No.
See, that’s another word she doesn’t mean.
She knows her safe word.
She knows what to say or do to get me to ease off if she needs a moment.
But she doesn’t. She squirms and wriggles and finally…
“Smoke.” Her harsh cry slams off the walls.
I swear there’s an echo.
And it’s enough to bring my own orgasm.
When I’m unloading deep inside her, I can’t think about anything else.
Just me and her and how good this all feels.
Like I’ll never get enough of the two of us together.
Once I’ve brought us both down, I untie her and spend some time just holding her in bed.
“Feel better?” I ask.
“Mmm-hmm,” she says lazily.
Fuck knows I do. I feel more even keeled.
More ready to take on what the day holds.
She turns in my arms and looks up at me.
Not sure I’ll ever get used to the view.
“We’re going to build a good life.”
“Is that a statement or question?”
“Statement,” she says firmly.
“I’m feeling brave today.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m going to the bakery this morning because Kinsey needs a hand with some things. Then, Ember and I are gonna drive to that big hardware store down by the highway and have a look at some kitchen designs and paints and things.”
I bite back a grin.
She has no idea that it’s all a set up to have her where I want her, when I want her there.
I’ve waited until after she’d had the blood tests done to see if she was a match for her niece because it was emotionally weighing on her mind.
She wasn’t, but her dad was.
Honestly, it’s the best outcome.
Not needing to go through the urgent procedure gives her the time she needs to decide what kind of relationship she wants with her sister going forward, one that isn’t predicated on whether she helps her niece or not.
“Good. We’ll have that place fixed up in no time.” The second alarm on my phone is an annoyance.
I set it because I’ve become useless at getting up on the first one when I’m in bed with Quinn.
“I really gotta go, sweetheart.” I kiss the top of her head.
I do what I need to get ready, then return to the bedroom.
Quinn is still beneath the sheet, but it’s tucked around her in such a way that her form is utterly visible, and it takes everything I am to not crawl back in there with her.
“Here,” I say, handing her my credit card.
“Put the paint on this.”
“I don’t need you to pay for the paint, I got it.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“You’re gonna take the card, pay for the paint, and order us a new bed.”
“Or else…?” It’s a challenge.
And I can see from the smile on her face that she’s expecting me to suggest something kinky.
“No ‘or else.’ I’m not comfortable extending our power dynamic to finances. Telling you to meet me on your knees when I get home to say thank you for spending my money doesn’t float my boat.”
Quinn smiles at that.
“What if I’m just grateful and want to thank you that way?”
I kiss the tip of her nose.
“You deciding to be grateful on your own is entirely up to you. But I see it all as ours now anyway. What you’re doing is choosing to spend our money to build a good life for us.”
She flops back onto her pillow.
“Sometimes you veer dangerously close to romance hero material.”
“Only for you. Don’t tell anyone else.”
“Be safe.”
“On my honor.”
I ride to the clubhouse and realize my injuries don’t hurt.
They’ve healed, and I suppose, in many ways, my mind is getting there.
I’ve got a woman at home, a new future to build, and work to find.
And a therapist keeping me on the straight and narrow, forcing me to address the hard things.
The dark things.
When I arrive at the club, people are already milling about in the parking lot.
And when my phone rings, I glance down at it.
Johnny.
And I can tell I’m doing better when I answer it.
His name reminds me these were all men and individuals I cared for, not some random men I lost. I was so buried in my own despair, I forgot that, sometimes.
“Johnny,” I say.
“Jesus, Smoke. Thought you were never gonna pick up. Been trying for weeks.”
I take a deep breath and pick at the stitching on the leather seat of my bike.
“It’s been a journey since we got back.”
There’s a moment of silence between us.
We both know what that means.
“About that…I’m in Denver on Tuesday next week,” he says.
“I want to see you. Got some things I need to say in person. Are you around?”
The temptation is to say no, but, honestly, I don’t feel like being scared today, so I push through.
“Sure thing. Tuesday works great.”
I hear the sigh of relief down the line.
“Great. I’ll send you details of where I’m staying, and we can make plans.”
“Sounds good, Johnny. See you next week.”
“Yeah. And Smoke…”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
When the phoneline goes dead, I lower the phone from my ear and simply stare at the phone log.
Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.
“Everyone’s ready to move out when you are,” Butcher says as he steps out of the clubhouse.
He was gone for a while.
He’d call occasionally, but never once told us where he was.
Didn’t even tell us he was coming home.
He just reappeared one day and made it crystal clear we were never to mention Dr. Greer Hanson again.
He paid her himself.
Curious, I searched for Dr. Greer Hanson at the hospital, but there was no mention of her, which was wild because I found a lot of medical journal articles that quoted her or talked about her and, by all accounts, she is an exemplary surgeon.
Or was.
“She’ll be at the bakery in about an hour, so we have a little time.” I hop off my bike and follow him inside.
“Coffee?” Butcher asks.
I shake my head. “Can’t drink the stuff we have here after drinking the good stuff we have at home.”
Butcher grins.
“Never thought I’d see the day.”
“The day for what?”
“You. Settling down. Talking about the coffee the two of you have at home.”
I shake my head.
“You got it wrong, Butch. I’m settling up. Building a life I didn’t think I could have. Quinn put it all in reach for me. I’m not gonna fuck it up.”
“Settling up. I like that.”
I tip my chin in his direction.
“When are you gonna bite the bullet and try it?”
He huffs a laugh.
“Can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Like my life the way it is.”
We chat for a while longer, then I catch up with Catfish and Wraith before Butcher returns to the bar and offers me the parcel I’ve been waiting for.
“Good luck,” he says, slapping my shoulder.
“Let’s go.”
The instruction is met with whoops and cheers from my brothers.
They’re all in on my plan.
All here to help me.
And for a moment, it’s overwhelming in a life-affirming way.
My therapist has helped me sort through some of my baggage.
That journey won’t be complete for some time.
But realizing that my experience with my mom’s depression has left me with a PTSD-type response to fluctuations in my own mental health has been life-changing.
Getting some separation, some clarity on my own experiences is making me realize I’m not alone.
I place the package Butcher gave me in my pannier, and then we ride into town before pulling up outside the bakery.
Knowing she’ll be unable to resist peeking out onto the street to see who is here, I wave before I climb off my bike.
She grins and waves back, then hurries to me.
I climb off my bike and meet her at the door.
“Why are you all here?” she asks.
She turns to face Ember and Kinsey, who have followed her to the door, in spite of the customers inside.
“Did you know?”
“Smoke just asked that I get you here,” Kinsey admits.
Ember shrugs. “And Atom asked me to be here to make sure you didn’t leave.”
Quinn places a hand to her chest and looks at me.
“Is it bad news?”
Ember chuckles and throws a hand over my woman’s shoulder.
“I doubt it, given the smile on your man’s face.”
Your man .
I like the way she says that.
And I feel a gentle lurch in my chest that I could say that about Quinn too.
My woman.
“Hey.” I slip my arms beneath hers, and pick her up so her feet dangle off the ground to kiss her like I didn’t see her an hour ago.
“Fucking missed you,” I mutter against her lips.
“Your brothers are watching,” she says finally.
“I don’t care.”
She places her hands on my cheeks.
“You’re acting weird. If it’s bad news, just tell me fast.”
I shake my head.
“It’s not bad news. It’s a choice you gotta make. There are seventeen men outside, eighteen including me. We got tools and shit. And we are ready to demo the upstairs. Atom asked Ember if she could take Bones and have him stay with them for a few days, so we don’t have to worry about him while it’s a mess. Kills two birds with one stone given she’s always begging to take Bones for a sleepover.”
She wiggles out of my arms, and I put her back down on the floor.
Not sure what kink is unlocked, but I really like carrying her around, so I’m always sad when she kicks her feet in protest.
“You want to demo the apartment?”
I run a knuckle down her cheek.
“Only if you do. I spoke to your father. Had a friend track him down. The signed documents are on the way. The bakery and the apartment are yours. Keep it, sell it, it doesn’t matter. Keep it and rent the apartment above.”
Confusion shows on her face.
“Where would I live?”
I laugh.
“With me, of course. I’ve given you the six weeks you asked for.”
Quinn raises one eyebrow.
“Technically, yes. But you slept here two nights a week and made me sleep at your place two nights a week with you.”
“And you did brilliantly the other three nights I left you here alone.”
She glances over her shoulder at the men who are all watching expectantly.
“I can’t afford it, yet,” she whispers.
“I was going to save up from…you know…while living here.”
I do know.
We’ve been making videos, together.
But her only rule? We never tell anyone we’re doing it.
It’s anonymous exhibitionism and we love it.
So, no faces, no identities.
More shadows than light.
Just her feet and my hands and cock.
She doesn’t want to go farther than that, and it’s fine with me.
Plus, her account made five thousand dollars this month and the number of followers is growing fast. She’s still showing up at the bakery because she’s realized she enjoys it now that she feels like she doesn’t have to be there anymore.
“The labor’s free.”
She sighs.
“It’s not just that. I mean, the bakery makes enough to break even and pay me a salary. I have a little bit of savings, but?—”
I cut her off with a kiss.
“We’re in this together. In case I’m not being clear, I love you, Quinn. I’m in this forever. What’s mine is yours. And right now, we have a property to take care of. Together.”
“That’s a lot. You could have just said I love you and it be enough. Or roses might have been nice.”
I shrug.
“Meh. That’s a bit predictable, and that’s not us. Go big or go home, right?”
“Wait, what about permits?”
“Taken care of.”
Quinn’s mouth opens, then closes.
“What do you mean, ‘taken care of’? Like, don’t worry about them or…?”
“Or Butcher knows that the married head of permits for the town happens to be having an affair and fucking Butcher’s neighbor, who is also married. He told the permit guy he had security footage of his arrival going back a year. Dates and times.”
“Does he?”
I grin.
“His camera stores data for only five days. But it was enough of a threat to get you your permits without us having a single drawing of what we intend to do.”
She steps up onto the steel toes of my boots and kisses me.
“I should be mad about how you got them.”
I pull her tight to my body.
“But are you?”
“Not one bit. It doesn’t feel like enough, but thank you.”
“On that note,” Ember says, “I’ll take Bones, if it’s okay with you. That way, he doesn’t get stressed out by all the noise, and I get to spoil him at my place for a little while.”
Quinn reaches into the pocket of her dress and pulls out the key to toss it to her.
“Thank you.”
Ember grins.
“No worries. I’m gonna use Bones to convince Atom we should get a couple of puppies of our own.”
“There’s just one more thing,” I say, leading Quinn to my bike.
“Those books you like, you’re always talking about the grand gesture, right?”
“Girls do like ‘em.”
I reach into my pannier. “In that case…”
My brothers whoop and holler and cheer as I pull out the black leather cut I had to get specially ordered, seeing she’s so fucking tiny.
“Quinn, will you be my old lady?
Will you be my property to fucking cherish and protect and love for the rest of our lives?
I want to build a life with you, sugar.
One where we focus on our homes.
On our lives, Quinn.
Where we seize every fucking day.
Squeeze every single bit of life out of it like you do the lemons when you bake.
”
Our home. Our lives.
The word settles nicely in my chest.
Ours.
“I won’t ever leave you unprotected, Quinn. Or leave you wondering where I am. And I promise to fuck you dirty and make love to you slowly as often as you let me.”
My brothers chuckle at that.
Her smile is utterly lovely.
“Yes, Smoke, I trust you to do all the things you just said. I promise to create a home with you, to love you, and to let you be you.”
I rub my thumb along her lower lip.
“Love it when you talk dirty to me.”
She playfully slaps my chest. “There’s nothing dirty about saying I trust you.”
I grin.
“There is if your mind goes to all the places mine does when you mention trust.”
Stepping up onto her toes, she pulls me down to her, so her lips are by my ear.
Her words are for me alone.
“Okay, yes, Smoke. I trust you to fuck me dirty and make love to me often. And I promise to worship your cock and thank it for its service.”
“Fuck, Quinn,” I say, adjusting my cock.
“Can’t be saying shit to me like that.”
She laughs, and glances around at the stairs up to the apartment, at me standing before her.
“Is it all really that simple, Ronan?”
I’m sure my face softens at the use of my real name.
“Yeah. I love you, Quinn. And it really is as simple as that.”