Chapter Thirteen
The tree glowed in the corner of his living room, giving it a homey feel. Zach stared at it, unable to comprehend how one inanimate object could bring so much warmth and happiness to his space.
Decorating it with Tilly had been fun. He’d never laughed so much, or so hard, watching her try to get the lights around the tree, only to end up tangled in them.
Her laughter had been infectious, and it had taken all his iron will not to haul her close and kiss her senseless.
He’d almost lost his mind when he’d kissed her at the Christmas farm.
Fortunately, part of him had been aware of where they were and had ended the kiss before it had taken too much of a hold on him.
He hadn’t been able to let her go, though.
Holding her hand had felt so right, as if they belonged together, but he knew it wasn’t possible.
He couldn’t drag her into the world that lurked around the sidelines of his life.
The right thing to do would be not to see her after they’d finished their Christmas show. Yet he was finding the idea abhorrent, which was how he was standing in his living room, looking at the tree they’d decorated together and waiting for her to arrive.
Tonight he was cooking her dinner. A repayment for all the times she’d prepared a meal for him.
It was nothing fancy. Just spaghetti and meatballs, but he’d made the meatballs himself as well as the tomato sauce.
The aroma of garlic permeated the air, along with the scent of baking bread.
He didn’t make the bread, though. Just bought a bake-at-home loaf.
He’d set his table with a single yellow rose and had used cloth napkins.
Blues music played in the background, and even though he hadn’t tried to make the evening romantic, all the elements put together gave it a special ‘date night’ feel.
Should he change things? Should he get rid of the flower? Put the main light on instead of the two lamps he had? The tree, well, he couldn’t turn those lights off because if he did, it would be the first thing that Tilly would notice and comment on.
His phone jangled in his pocket and he pulled it out. Lost in his thoughts about Tilly, he didn’t look at who was calling and just accepted it. “Hello.”
“Oh, Zachary, it’s lovely to hear your voice.” The lilting cadence of his mother’s speech filled his ear, and now he wished like hell he’d looked at the screen.
“Mom.”
“How are you? Where are you?”
“I’m good. How are you?” He had no plans to tell her where he was.
“Busy, as always. You know what this time of year is like. Parties to go to. Charity functions to attend.”
Ever the social butterfly. That was his mother. “That’s good. Why are you calling?” He didn’t bother censoring his voice. He wanted her to know that just because he’d answered her call didn’t mean that things were fine between them.
“I wanted to talk to my son. Is that a crime?”
“It is if you’ve got an ulterior motive.” Like you normally do. Zach didn’t want to get into a fight with his mother moments before Tilly turned up.
Her sigh sounded down the line, and for a second or two, he felt remorse for being so hard on her.
It was possible that not all of her recent reactions had been fake.
Maybe she had experienced some genuine fear after hearing what he’d been through.
What he’d had to do to ensure the safety of the campers.
Perhaps it was more of a case of her having always known his job was dangerous, but having to face it made it seem more real to her.
He didn’t know. He wanted to believe that she cared. That she was sincerely concerned about him. But after the way she’d manipulated everything for her gain, he had his doubts.
“You don’t need to be like that. I’m worried about you, Zach. You’re not acting rationally. You’ve changed your job. You’ve left your home, and I’ve no idea where you are!”
“For the first time in my life, I am acting rationally, Mom. I’m where I need to be. Where I want to be.” He looked at the clock on the wall. Tilly would be arriving any minute. “I’ve got to go, Mom. I’m fine, so you don’t need to be concerned.”
“A mother never stops worrying, son.” The words were said so softly Zach wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. They were a little out of character.
He didn’t say anything and disconnected the call.
Zach rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t like this tension between him and his mom, but he didn’t know how to make her understand how he felt. She only heard what she wanted to hear. He would have to make a decision soon about what he was going to do. Tonight wasn’t that night, though.
The doorbell rang, saving him from thinking any longer. He strode to answer it, plastering a smile on his face. “Hey, Tilly, come on in.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked the second she crossed the threshold.
“Nothing. Why do you say that?”
She reached up and rubbed the spot between his eyes. “Because you look stressed. Or upset. Or both.”
How did she always seem to know when something was wrong with him? It was obvious she could see beneath the facade to who he was underneath. She’d seen how much his mom’s actions had affected him.
“I had a call from someone I didn’t want to speak to. But I’m so much better now that you’re here.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Her mouth opened beneath his and he slipped his tongue in, moaning when her hands clutched his shirt.
How he wanted her.
Reluctantly, he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. “You always make me feel so much better, Tulip.”
“I’m glad, and when you’re ready to talk about the call, I’ll be here. And if you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”
“You’re too good for me.”
“I could say the same about you.” She patted his chest and sniffed the air. “Something smells delicious.”
“It’s nothing special, just spaghetti and meatballs.” He suddenly wished he’d made something more exciting.
“Oh, no, that’s perfect. I love spaghetti and meatballs. Truthfully, I love anything that I don’t have to cook.”
Zach laughed. “There is that too. It’s always a chore to think of something to eat each night.”
“It is, but I’m a creature of habit. I can have the same thing over and over and be perfectly content.”
“It would make meal planning easy.” Zach tended to eat out when he wasn’t on duty. And when he was at the station and it was his turn to cook, his go-to’s were either lasagna or enchiladas. It was easy to make big batches of them, and they weren’t too difficult to prepare.
“Oh, this is cozy,” Tilly exclaimed as they walked through to the living room. “And the Christmas tree looks perfect. Aren’t you glad you got one now?”
Once again her excitement was infectious, and he felt himself grinning like a fool along with her. “I am. Why don’t you take a seat, and I’ll bring out the food?”
“Do you need any help?”
Her immediate response wasn’t a surprise. He’d been expecting it.
“Nope, I have it all under control. Would you like a drink? I got a bottle of your favorite white wine.” He’d taken note of the wine one night he’d been with her.
“You did?” Her face lit up with a happy smile. Had none of the guys she’d ever dated done something nice like that for her? “Thank you. I’ll have a glass if you’re going to have one.”
“I will.” Zach shook his head. “Does this conversation seem awfully formal after the kiss we just shared?”
Tilly laughed. “It does. I’m not sure how that happened.”
She looked around the area, and he could see what she was seeing. He had made an effort, and his earlier thought that it was very romantic came back to him.
“I wanted to do something nice for you. You’ve been so generous with me,” he said quietly.
“Oh, Zach, you’ve been such a big help to me. It’s nothing to feed you when you come over. But,”—she waved her hand around the room—“this is beautiful, and I love that you’ve done this for me.”
She came up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, and he returned the embrace.
“Is it a bit much, though?”
Tilly leaned back, her hazel eyes bright with happiness. “No, it’s not. But what does it mean?”
“It means that I like you and spending time with you is the highlight of my days. Even when I’m working, you know when to text.
When I need a pick-me-up, there you are.
I want to get to know you better. I want to spend more time with you after the Nativity play is over.
When the lights are all taken down and the excitement of the contest is gone.
The question is, do you want to spend more time with me? ”
Zach held his breath, waiting for her answer, knowing that he’d dumped a lot of information on her. Knowing that taking this step would drag her into his messy life. Knowing that no matter how many times he told himself he shouldn’t, Tilly’s pull was too hard to resist.
And he didn’t want to resist any longer. After all he’d been through, he deserved to have his own chance at joy and happiness.
If she didn’t want to, as hard as it would be, he’d walk away after the event was over.
“Yes, Zach, I would like that very much.”