Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Kate
I’m nervous as hell about today.
Sure, I’m happy to host the group. I have a pool and a backyard set-up meant for parties, and I know everyone will have fun just hanging out there and relaxing. Penny and Logan have come over for days just like this a thousand times.
But Tucker? After last night, I’m not sure he’s comfortable coming to my house. He seemed all for it when I suggested it earlier, but was that the truth? Or did he agree just to placate the rest of us?
Whatever the reason, his being there will be a stark, constant reminder of my fumbling attempt and his blatant refusal last night. But if he can pretend everything is fine, that last night never happened, then so can I.
I think.
When I pull into my driveway, two golf carts are already parked there. Penny has a spare key to my house and a never-ending invitation to use it, so they must all be inside already. Slumping back in my seat, I take a few deep breaths before climbing out of the cart, grabbing the grocery bags from the back, and making my way inside.
I find the three of them laughing and talking in the kitchen when I walk inside. They’re already in their swimsuits, so I pass Logan the bag of pre-made burger patties and ask him to put them in the fridge while I go change.
I don’t have to look at him to know Tucker is watching me. I can feel his gaze burning against my skin, and why is it so hot in here all of a sudden?
Penny must notice I’m off, because she takes my hand and pulls me out of the kitchen, saying, “I’m just going to help Kate find her bathing suit. You two…entertain each other, or something.”
As soon as she tugs me into my bedroom, she closes the door behind us and crosses her arms over her chest, asking, “What’s going on with you today? You’re acting weird.”
I fall back against my bed with a long sigh and close my eyes. “Would you believe me if I said nothing?”
“Not a chance,” she says, falling back against the mattress beside me. “Now, spill.”
I roll onto my side, and she does the same so we’re facing each other. “Tucker found me at the Grill last night, drowning my sorrows in chili-cheese fries after that whole scene with Blaine at the bridal shop.
“I assumed that’s where you went,” she says with a small nod .
She knows me better than anybody.
“He cheered me up,” I go on, my lips rising in a ghost of a smile. “We had a great time, and when he walked me out to my cart, I…I asked him if he wanted to come here for a drink.”
“You did what ?” Penny barks, levering upright to stare down at me with wide eyes.
“Relax,” I sigh, sitting up to face her, head on. “He turned me down. No harm, no foul.”
“He did what ?” she growls, so loud, I hurry to shush her so the guys won’t hear.
“Why are you angry? You should be happy nothing happened. Wasn’t it you who insisted I keep my hands to myself?” I ask, arching a single brow at her.
“Yes, of course,” she says, waving a hand as if to disperse my words. “But you’re supposed to be the one turning him down, not the other way around. Who the hell does he think he is?”
An unbidden laugh bubbles out of me, and I tilt my head as I hold her gaze. “I love you so much.”
The steam rolls out of her, and her spine relaxes as she reaches over to take my hand. “I love you, too. And I know I drew a hard line before, practically ordering you not to fall for J.T.’s charms, but what exactly is it you want?”
“I don’t know,” I say on a rough exhale. “He makes me feel things, Pen. Things I’ve never felt before.”
Penny blows out a long breath through loose lips, then reaches out her free hand to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear as she gently whispers, “You know he’s leaving in a few days. Who knows when he’ll be back? He won’t commit to you, Kate. He doesn’t commit to anyone.”
“I know that, Penny, but it still doesn’t change how I feel.” I shake my head. “It’s stupid, anyway. Tucker has made it perfectly clear where he stands. He’s just not interested in me in that way. I need to accept that.”
“Fuck that noise. You’re wrong,” she says.
“What? What do you mean?”
She takes my other hand, then pulls me forward so our clasped hands hover between us. “I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want to encourage things between the two of you, but Kate, he’s completely obsessed with you.”
My head rears back an inch, my face screwed up into a look of confusion and disbelief. “No.”
“Yes,” she snaps back, then sighs again. “You haven’t seen the way he looks at you when you aren’t watching. Logan and I have. Hell, even Blaine has seen it, which is why she’s been such a royal bitch all week. She knows there’s no hope for her while you’re in the picture.”
“That can’t be right,” I say, my heart pounding against my ribs. “You must be misinterpreting his expression, or something.”
“You mean the expression that screams ‘I’m starving and the only thing that will satisfy my hunger is a bite of Kate Reid?’ I’m not misinterpreting anything. I’ve never seen him look at another woman that way, and neither has Logan.”
“You guys have talked about this?” I ask, mortified.
“Only in the sense that we both felt the need to protect you from him. But I’m done with that. You want J.T. to be your first? Let’s make it happen. You just have to promise to guard your heart and keep your expectations in check.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” I ask, only half-joking.
“What?” she asks with a smirk. “I’m being my usual cheerleader self. Besides, with a guy like J.T.? At least you’re pretty much guaranteed to find the pleasure of an orgasm during your first time, unlike some of us.”
My eyes widen comically as I joke, “Logan didn’t get you off? Has he ever?”
She shoves at my shoulder with a chuckle. “It was his first time, too. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and he only lasted about forty-five seconds. You know this.”
“I know,” I say with a grin. “I just love teasing you about it.”
“Well, practice makes perfect, don’t you know?” she says, raising her nose into the air. Then she meets my eyes again as her humor flees. “If you want J.T., try again. I don’t know why he turned you down last night, but I do know it was probably the hardest thing he’s ever done. He won’t have the strength to resist you again. Trust me.”
“I don’t know how,” I say. “I don’t know what to do.”
She pushes herself to her feet and looks down at me with a fond smile. “Just keep being yourself. And wear the red swimsuit. You look like fire in that thing.”
I roll my eyes. “Um, no. It’s a two-piece that puts all my flaws on display.”
“You don’t have any flaws, and trust me, Kate, Tucker won’t be able to take his eyes off you in that thing. Wear it .”
With that, she shoots me a wink and leaves the room, closing the door softly behind her. Pushing myself to my feet, I walk into my closet and pull the basket out that stores my swimsuits. My fingers rub the soft material of the red one while I debate wearing it or going with one of the others.
“Screw it,” I breathe, pulling the two-piece out and stalking back out of the closet.
Undressing quickly, I pull the suit on before studying my reflection in the full-length mirror hanging on the wall. The suit is retro, with high-waisted bottoms that add a little tummy-control. The bra-style top makes my boobs look great, but leaves a two-inch strip of bare skin visible between it and the bottoms.
I’ve never really felt comfortable in this thing, despite Penny’s kind words about me looking hot in it. I stare at myself for several long moments, trying to see the image through Tucker’s eyes. Would he really like it?
Would it…turn him on?
Just the thought has my cheeks heating, and I turn to take the damn thing back off. Then I stop, close my eyes, and blow out a harsh breath.
We’ll be in the privacy of my own backyard. Penny and Logan have seen me in this suit. And if there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that Tucker might give in to temptation and take me to bed, he’s going to see a hell of a lot more of me than this swimsuit reveals. If I feel embarrassed like this, then how will I ever strip myself bare in front of him? Or anyone else, for that matter ?
No. I’m wearing it. And I’m going to own it, damn it.
Marching back into my closet, I pull out a sheer, black, kimono-style cover up and pull it on, belting it at the waist. Then I take a deep breath and leave the room.
Tucker is only on the island for four more nights. If I’m going to make him crush his resolve and take me to bed, I need to start now. Today .