Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Lola
W hen I wake up, we’re not moving.
I lift my head and look around, recognizing the gas station as the same one I filled up at on the way down.
It’s quiet. Only one other car that I can see.
My boy takes a vicious kick at my bladder, letting me know that beggars can’t be choosers.
I straighten up and wince at the crick in my neck before I unlatch my belt and open the door.
I ease myself out before I spot Hannibal near the back of the truck, talking on his cell phone.
He turns when I close the truck door, the loud bang echoing into the night.
“I need to use the restroom,” I mouth.
“I’ll call you back,” he tells whoever is on the phone and hangs up.
“I’ll come with you.”
I won’t argue.
Even if Driller wasn’t still out there somewhere, deserted gas stations in the dead of night are not female-friendly.
Too many dark places to hide predators, too many places for a woman to be dragged off to without the attending hearing a sound.
If we’re lucky, there’s a camera on the door, but that’s about it.
And the thing about bad guys?
They always know where the fucking cameras are.
“You feeling okay?”
“Yeah. Sleep helped. I don’t know why I still get so tired. I’d hoped it would ease up once I hit my second trimester.”
“Do you eat healthy?”
“Not really.”
“How about sleep? Are you getting eight hours?”
“Over a week? Sure.”
“What about exercise?”
“I’m allergic, unfortunately.”
“Odd, can’t imagine what it could be then.” He chuckles.
“Smartass,” I mutter as he leads me toward the far side of the building where the restroom is located.
Once we get there, Hannibal insists on going in first to check it out before letting me inside.
By the time I’m locking the door, the only thing I’m in danger of is peeing myself.
I sigh in relief as I hover above the toilet seat, thinking about how men have it so easy.
I wash my hands and stick my tongue out at my tired-looking reflection.
Hannibal's hanging up his cell, waiting exactly where I left him. “That was Havoc.”
“Is Dice okay?” I might not know the man, but I don’t want anything to happen to him.
“Everything went well. He’s out of surgery and in recovery.”
“Oh, that’s good.”
“Dice aside, Havoc thinks it would be a good idea for us to stay in a motel for a few days.”
“Huh? Why? I thought you had to be there to take over as president?”
“I do, but he wants to be the one to tell them. With everything the way it is right now, he can’t leave for a few days. If the club can’t last a week on their own, then I’m not sure they’ve got what it takes to be a fucking club in the first place.”
“Maybe they’ll realize how bad Driller and Khan were now they are out from under their shadows. And if things do go to shit, you get to go in and save the day, which can only earn you brownie points.”
“I don’t really give a fuck about brownie points.”
“No, I don’t suppose you do. But here’s the thing. You can rule with an iron fist. You can make people bow to you and cower in fear. But if you don’t instill loyalty and trust in them, then the first sign of trouble and they’ll opt to save their own neck over yours. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have someone at my back that I trust not to stick a knife in it. Trust me when I say it’s hard when you don’t see it coming.”
“You’d make a pretty good brother yourself.”
“Pass. For the reasons I just mentioned. I don’t trust them.”
“Any of them?”
I think about Gunther and sigh. “There might be one or two I would like to think would help me if I need it. One in particular that has. I just know they wouldn’t disobey an order for me. So if Khan or Driller had ordered them to do something to me, they would without hesitation, even if that meant hurting me.”
He doesn’t say anything to that, but I can see how mad it makes him. The problem is that it’s in their creed that the club comes first. And obeying your president is right up there with things you absolutely have to do. It’s why Havoc went to prison, after all. It’s a bone of contention that I haven’t been able to move past. Knowing he chose the club so easily over me. He was never off my mind. Not since the day I met him in the school hallway, he consumed me. And yet, in the end, I was nothing more than an afterthought to Havoc.
“There have to be protections in place though—for club girls and old ladies. Especially old ladies. Havoc going to prison messed with your head. I get that, but Driller has always been a dick. You had to know you were taking a fucked-up situation and making it ten times worse.”
I stumble, then stand still, my hands wrapping around my stomach. He stops a few steps ahead of me when he realizes I’m not moving. He looks over at me in concern.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He opens his mouth to say something, but the car behind me beeps, making me jump.
“Sorry,” some guy says as he walks toward it, the lights flashing as he unlocks it with his fob.
I walk back to the truck, passing Hannibal without looking at him. Yanking the door open, I don’t wait for him to help me in, even though I look as graceful as a drunk elephant trying to do it alone.
He climbs into the driver’s seat and blows out a frustrated breath. “How about you tell me what happened so I don’t keep saying shit that sets you off.”
“Sets me off?” His words ignite a fire inside me. “I’m sorry if my pain and suffering is such an inconvenience. I’ll try to do better next time, sir.” I mock, clipping my belt in place.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. I’m just saying if you fucking speak, then others will?—”
I whirl on him. “You think I want their pity after years of being forced to deal with their anger and disgust? I don’t owe anyone anything. Not you, nor Havoc, and sure as fuck nobody that wears a Ravens cut. I don’t have to tell you anything. That’s not what this is. You want an old lady to fuck and watch your kid. I don’t have to spill my guts to you to do that.” My chest is heaving by the time I’m finished. I know I lashed out, and I know I’m probably overreacting, but I’ve bottled all of this up for years and he pushed the wrong damn button.
He pulls out of the gas station, making the tires squeal as he grips the wheel so tightly that his knuckles bleed white. The sight of them feels like a bucket of cold water being thrown over me. I feel my heart speed up for a different reason now. God, how could I have been so stupid? I know better than to make men mad.
I turn my head so it looks as if I’m gazing out the passenger window. But really, I have my eyes squeezed so tightly shut that it makes my head throb. What if he doesn’t want me anymore and throws me back to Driller? Or lets Driller’s enemies have me? Or maybe he thinks Driller had the right idea. Maybe he can beat the idiot out of me. That’s what Driller was always trying to do, but I guess I was too dumb for that to work.
I bang my head against the glass, trying to shut up the sound of my voice speaking Driller’s words, but the panic is making it harder to focus. The thought of Hannibal turning on me is terrifying. Not just because I know he could hurt me, but because I like him and I don’t like many people. I bang my head against the glass again as a sob slips free. I suck in a horrified gasp as the truck pulls over to the side of the road and stops.
Before I know what’s happening, Hannibal has me out of my seat and in his lap, his arms wound tightly around me. “Breath for me, Lola. Slow and steady. Okay. I need you to calm down. You’re safe with me. Your baby is safe with me.”
I sob again, pressing my head against his collarbone as the tears fall down my face.
“Baby,” he whispers as if my tears physically hurt him. And dammit if that doesn’t make me cry harder.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad. I’m sorry. I’ll do better,” I whisper, ending in a hiccup.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Lola. Yes I’m mad, but not at you. I’m fucking pissed that until I came along, you had no one. Not one fucking person to have your back. I’m not mad you yelled at me. I’m glad, actually.”
I lift my head, unsure if I heard him right.
His jaw tightens as his eyes move over my tear-stained cheeks. “You didn’t hold back and hide. You trusted me at that moment, to let go. I was the one who fucked it all up by reacting the way I did. I’ll work on that.”
I frown. My confusion must be evident, but he just leans down and kisses the tip of my nose.
“You’re right. It’s not my business, and you owe me nothing. But I want to be the person you come to. The one who holds you up when you don’t have the strength to do it. I’ll cut, kill, and bury anyone for you.”
I chuckle through my tears. “I’m not sure that’s how the saying goes.
“Don’t care. I mean it. Just wait until I get my hands on Driller.”
“You’ll kill him for me?”
“Oh, I’ll do more than kill him. I’m going to give him a bruise for every one he gave you, a cut for every time you bled?—”
I cut him off by kissing him, pouring every ounce of relief and gratitude into it because I believe him. I have zero doubt that the second he gets his hands on Driller, it will be game over for him. And then I’ll be free, even if it’s just from the mental cages in my head I built to protect myself.
He lets me control the kiss for a moment before he takes over, his tongue dancing with mine as his hands slide into my hair, holding me in place. There’s no urgency in his kiss, no sense of being rushed. He’d sit here at the side of the road and kiss me all night if that’s what I needed.
I feel myself getting choked up again so I pull away. “Thank you.”
“For kissing you?” He cocks a brow.
“For not holding my freakout against me. I’m not sure what even set it off.”
“The mention of the club. You tense up, and then you become defensive. I know this is going to be hard on you. I wish I was taking you anywhere but home, but I don’t have a choice. Besides, these assholes need to answer for what they’ve done.”
“It’s not so much what they’ve done. It’s what they didn’t do.”
“That doesn’t make it better. If I stood and watched Midas getting attacked and did nothing, then I’m part of the problem. It’s playground bullying tactics because if nobody stands up to him, he feels justified in his actions.”
“And then I’m left questioning my own actions. Maybe I antagonized him. Perhaps I flirted with his club brother without realizing it. Of course, he told me what he wanted for dinner. It must have just slipped my mind,” I say without thinking.
I freeze and wait for his reaction. He just grits his teeth and strokes his fingers through my hair. “I can’t wait to get my hands on him. I’m going to dismember him piece by piece.”
“As long as those pieces don’t end up in our home, I don’t care what you do with him.”
He gives me another kiss, this time on the forehead, before he lifts me back into my seat.
“Strap in, doll. I want to find us a motel so we can get some rest.”
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep for a while. Not now that I’ve had a nap.”
“Then let me just hold you for a while. Nothing and nobody will get to you without going through me.”
“You promise?”
“I swear it.”