48. Chapter 48
Chapter 48
Zeph
I t's pandemonium around me. Citizens are yelling, Himureal is bellowing for them to stay in their seats, and Taegan is fighting to get to the arena floor.
And amongst it all, I stand, a statue in the middle of the chaos, the noise of the arena drowned out by the ringing in my ears. Blackness lingers on the edge of my vision, and my knuckles are white from the clenching of my fists.
Loris' blood soaks my shoes. I can smell the metallic, earthy scent as it snakes lazily towards me from where his body lay on the ground.
I didn't realize blood moved like that.
Of course, I know blood continues to be pumped out of the body, that it's in motion.
But I couldn't conceptualize that it would move like that.
I'm frozen.
I want to move to him, drop to my knees, hold his hand, and beg him to stay with us until a Spring can come to heal him.
But I can't.
It feels as if my body has been anchored here, to this spot, to this moment, and that I will live out the rest of my days right here.
I can 't even lift my feet.
I can only stare at the dark red blood of my best friend as it creeps further underfoot.
Cirrha grabs me by the shoulders, pulls me from my stupor, and yells at me that Loris needs me. The words barely break through the ringing in my ears, but then I hear the words "He's still alive!" get strung together.
That breaks me from the spell, and I take a few steps toward him and drop to his side, pulling his head into my lap.
Even dying, he flashes me that familiar cocky grin. "I… fucking did it…" he pants. It's clear talking is difficult, each word painful as he forces it through his lips that are now slicked with blood. The shard of ice still protrudes from his chest, making it hard to embrace and hold him as I wish I could, so I just stroke his black hair from his forehead.
"How could you? How could you do this to me, to Taegan? What were you thinking?" My words are quiet but fall out of me in a flood, rushing to say everything I need to say before what is sure to be his inevitable death.
"I was… thinking that this… was the only choice."
"We had a fucking plan, Loris!" Tears fall down my face, splashing down onto the ground beside his body.
His blood is on my pants.
"I… changed… the plan," he coughs. More blood leaves his mouth as he speaks, speckling the skin of my hands that clutch his head to my lap .
"This didn't have to happen this way. We could've worked together," I choke on my words. "We could've done so much good together."
His eyes are hazy and unfocused, but they find mine. "This… will do…more good."
"How, Loris? How could your death ever be something good?"
He grins, eyes darting towards the crowd, the entire city of Ytopie staring down at us slack-jawed. "Now everyone … knows … who he … really is."
Taegan comes slamming down next to me, on his knees, sobbing, having finally broken through whatever was keeping him off the arena floor. His prepossessing face twisted in grief as he pulls Loris from my lap into his arms, awkwardly maneuvering around the murder weapon still taking up residence in his chest. "I love you so much, Loris," he cries, wiping blood from Loris' mouth. The words are on repeat.
A plea.
A promise.
A goodbye.
They share a moment, eyes soft as they gaze at each other. I feel as if I am imposing on something that should be private, an intimate insight into who these men were to one another.
Love.
That's what this is.
This pain.
This loss of Loris so acute, Taegan's love for him so great that it's causing him physical pain.
"Stick … to the … plan, Zeph," Loris says clearly, turning his head with a wince to look at me.
The plan.
"There is no plan without you, Loris! You're the fucking plan," my voice breaks with a sob. "I can't do this without you." The words are quiet, defeated.
The blood snakes farther away from us, and every inch it travels is a physical reminder of how little time we have left with him.
"The plan included you helping me, Loris," I say, clasping his hand.
Taegan is mumbling declarations of love while wiping the hair from Loris' forehead. "Taegan… will help," Loris stutters out. Taegan's body stiffens, and he shakes his head.
"There is no me without you, Loris. I…" his wail cuts off his words, and he doubles over Loris' head.
I am vaguely aware of Cirrha trying to get my attention, of Himureal shouting to the crowd.
I tune it all out for Loris.
"I love… you, Taegan," Loris says. "The plan… will work."
The plan will have to change. Now I will work with Taegan instead of Loris to start an underground movement to support Viola, crippling Himureal's attempt at garnering an army of fae to support him when she inevitably rises against him.
"We can do this, Taegan," I say quietly. "We can." I don't believe my words, but what else can I say?
I don't know if we can do this.
I don't know if the plan will work.
But if it doesn't, Loris will have died for nothing.
How am I supposed to convince Himureal I'm still on his side after he's killed my oldest friend?
"Zeph. Promise me." Loris peppers his words with coughs, blood misting the area as he does.
I grab his hand, squeezing it tightly. "I love you, Loris." I'm not sure I've ever told him that.
But how could I not love him?
He was always there for me, beside me, through every journey of my life. Memories of us getting into trouble as youths flash through my mind. My thoughts linger on the first time he introduced me to a boyfriend, how scared he'd been that I would rebuke him, belittle him, insult him as his parents had done.
As if I could do anything other than love him for who he is.
That must've been the last time I told him I loved him. How had I waited so long?
I lost so much time with him because I was too wrapped up in myself. I refused to humble myself and listen to him when he told me I was going down a dangerous path.
And now he's tread his own treacherous path, and I sent him down it.
A path there is no recovery from.
"I'll follow the plan." I choke, my throat tight as I press two fingers to his forehead. "Go well, my friend." I rise to my feet, looking at the patterns the blood has left on my clothing. I feel the warmth of it through my shoes, the tightening of it as it drives on my skin.
I turn my back on my friend, leaving Taegan to clutch his partner to his chest and rock him as he sobs.
I know the moment it happens.
It's not something that I will ever be able to forget.
The noise Taegan makes fills the arena in one sharp burst of agony.
And then it is over.
Loris is dead.
The words feel meaningless because how could he possibly be dead?
Loris, my best friend, the most powerful Lightning wielder anyone has heard of, is dead.
And while I didn't strike that blow, I sure enough put him in the line of it.
If I had known what his plan was, I would've done anything I could to stop him.
He knew his death was likely.
He knew, and yet he did it anyway.
That is how much he believed in Viola.
He had one conversation with her, and he gave his life to fight for her to be the one with support over the Frostweaver.
I turn to face Himureal, taking wide steps to close the distance between us, my expression steeled, and I shake my head. I twist my lip in disgust, knowing Himureal will assume it's at Loris, not at him. He's too self-absorbed to think otherwise. The crowd is quiet, everyone's eyes darting between the God and Loris, whose still form is being pulled from Taegan's arms despite his screaming protests.
The sounds that come from him as he shouts for Loris will reverberate in my soul for eternity.
"I tried doing it your way," the Frostweaver booms to the city, his voice cruel and cold, "I really did." He moves down from his position in the stands and slowly walks to the arena floor. "I attempted to gain favor through joining you all in the tavern, holding court in the ballroom, and even this fucking tournament." He can't stop the bitterness that is biting into his words.
The silence that overwhelms the arena is suffocating, and it takes everything I have in me not to fall apart. My chest hurts as if there is a gaping wound to match Loris' there. He knew this would happen if he made that speech.
He knew, and yet he did it anyway.
"Let me make one thing clear to you, Ytopie." Himureal's voice is so loud and authoritative that the crowd is frozen in silence. He claps his hand on my shoulder in a sign of camaraderie that I wish I could rebuke. "I am the only God of Winter. Viola Mistflow is meant to rule beside me as my daughter, but do not for one second believe she is all you need."
My urge to fidget is so strong I fold my hands behind my back, twisting my fingers until my knuckles ache.
"The other Gods are dangerous. They are not benevolent beings wanting to give you the best in life. You do not need them to live a full and happy life. Together, Viola and I contain all the power needed to keep those Gods from enslaving you." The murmurs of the crowd remind me of the buzzing of bees, and his words are enough to knock me out of my shock. "I did not want to have to force anyone to follow me, but make no mistake, war is coming. War is coming."
I catch Cirrha's spine stiffen from where she stands, backed against the side of the arena. She mouths, " War?" to me, her eyes wide with fear. I wish I could give her reassurance, but nothing comes. Turning to Himureal, I whisper under my breath, "This isn't the plan."
"Fuck the plan," he hisses. He strides forward, leaving me behind, as he continues to address the city. "The other Gods will be marching upon Ytopie, and when they do, we must be ready. They will desire to pull you towards them." His ministrations seem to increase the size of him, his physical presence as he speaks from the center of the arena stifling. "Do you want to compete in the Race? Do you want to be deemed a sacrifice for the Gods at their whim?" Sounds of protestation rise from the crowd. "That is the life that awaits you if you follow any God other than myself. I alone can save you from that barbaric fate."
He's so fucking charismatic that he may succeed in winning the city over even though he just murdered Loris, who was beloved by many, right in front of their eyes .
Why would they be so willing to forgive him?
But I don't have to ponder on that thought for long. It's clear.
They're afraid the Gods would treat us as we have treated the humans.
If Himureal can promise them they won't go through that, they'll follow him.
Gods, what have I done?
I have empowered him and encouraged him, and now he's killed my best friend and still managed to convince the city what he is doing is just.
"I apologize for striking down Loris in front of you all." Himureal shakes out one of his hands and pauses, searching for his words. "Loris was working with a resistance that has been attempting to figure out a path to smuggle the Gods into the city." The lie from his lips wraps around me like a vice, and it takes all my effort to remain upright. "He believed that by diverting your attention to Viola, someone he saw as easy to manipulate, you'd turn your backs on me." He growls, stalking closer to where Loris' blood stains the ground, and Taegan still sobs. "But you all could see through that, couldn't you? You're too smart to fall for that, as is Viola Misflow. As we speak, she is on her way back to me after thwarting Loris and his coconspirators' attempts to lead the Gods to us."
Where is this story coming from? It's as if he practiced it, predicted something like this could happen, and kept it tucked away in his pocket. And he says Viola is on her way here? How could he possibly know that? What plan could he have to get her to come to heel?
"Your true Winter Champion is Kon!" Himureal booms. The applause and cheering are subdued at first, but one harsh look from the Frostweaver has people on their feet, cheering Kon's victory. The heavy-browed man steps into the center of the arena and bows, looking quite cocky for someone who's stepping into a position someone vacated because they were murdered.
"And luckily for Kon, there is another prize associated with being the Winter Champion."
I freeze as if the words that touched my ears were coated in ice.
There have been no discussions of further prizes. Something inside me knows that what he has to say next is not something I'm going to like, and my gut churns because of it.
Himureal looks directly at me, his mouth curled up in an ominous smile. I'm helpless, pinned to the spot by his gaze and the ice in my veins. "As my champion, Kon, you will be gifted the hand of my daughter in marriage. Viola Mistflow, daughter of Winter, the Shadowweaver, is to become your wife."
My head spins, my knees buckle. Kon's face is predatory, a lascivious grin stretching from ear to ear. The Frostweaver looks proud of himself, arms crossed over his chest, daring me to speak out against him.
A roaring fills my head and every ounce of energy I possess goes into keeping myself collected so Loris' sacrifice would not be in vain.
Everything I have done has been for Viola.
For all of my mistakes, I have just wanted what was best for her.
Himureal knows how important she is to me, he knows that all I have done has been to get her back to me and by my side.
And now he's completely reneging on our agreement and giving her away as a prize.
A fucking prize.
He's ignoring the raw fury, the passion she holds within her, and is acting as if she has no autonomy and cannot make a decision for herself. What threat is he willing to toss at her to get her to acquiesce to his demands?
When I finally make eye contact with him the look on his face is punishing, his harsh features contorted into a taunting mask, daring me to call him out. I don't. I swallow down bile and bite my tongue.
I don't want to be struck down as well. Loris would force someone to reanimate him just so he could kick my ass.
Kon is thrilled, preening and tossing his fists in the air in excitement. Why wouldn't he be? He had just been promised the hand of the most powerful woman in Krillium.
Himureal turns his head from me and back to the crowd, plastering on his fake smile. "Now, head to town, and celebrate your champion! Bracken, see that no one pays a tab in the tavern tonight – I will be covering it all!"
Those are the magic words. The crowd hustles to their feet and out of the arena, laughing and joking with each other, the death of Loris long forgotten to them.
Taegan is frozen on the floor of the arena, still kneeling in the spot where Loris fell, his hands wrapped around the pendant Loris wore for him today. The grief on his face is so visceral I can taste it, mingling with my own and leaving a bitterness that will not soon dissipate. I step towards him to comfort him, to help him, to do anything to calm this ache I feel, but Himureal's long, thin fingers circle around my arm, pointed nails digging into my reddened flesh.
"Come, high priest, we have much to discuss."
My hands shake as I pour two glasses of liquor, the familiar gesture of little comfort as Himureal sits across from me with unbridled rage on his face.
"You knew. You knew. You conspired against me," he snarls.
"I did no such thing." It's difficult to keep my voice measured, to hide my fury and fear in this moment. "Loris and I had been on the outs since you came around. It was no secret he disagreed with me serving as your high priest."
"And yet you still allowed him to participate in the tournament."
His tone shakes some primeval thing within me that knows I am in the presence of a predator. I suck down my liquor in one pull, the warmth it leaves down my throat centering me. "I wasn't in charge of sign-ups, you know that. I was as surprised as any when he began competing." I'm glad to be able to tell the truth and keep my lies to a minimum because I am unsure if I can trust my voice not to betray me. "Your quick thinking seemed to have smoothed it over well enough."
The compliment seems to calm him a bit. "We're lucky that it did! It never should have gotten to that point, Zeph. You never should've let it get to that point." His voice is a snarl as he points his long, sharp nail at me.
"What was I to do? Throw him out of the competition? How would I explain that?" The Frostweaver hums absently to himself as he chills the glass in his hand, and when he doesn't answer, I pour myself another two fingers as I speak. "Speaking of explaining. Would you like to explain to me why you offered Viola's hand to Kon?"
Saying the words charges bile up my throat, and I bite back the urge to gag. Kon is a brute, not someone I would want anyone near a woman I care about. The way he accepted the title of Winter Champion after watching Loris struck down says enough, but his pure glee at basically being gifted Viola was worse.
I would rather never see her again than let her return and be trapped with him.
"What, you can't tell me it doesn't make sense to pair my champion with my daughter." He narrows his eyes at me over his glass, and his tone turns mocking. "You didn't think you'd get to have her, did you? As my high priest, it would be untoward for you to have a relationship with her."
I slam my hand on the desk and throw myself to my feet. "I was doing this for her from the beginning! Was this your plan all along?"
He laughs cruelly, propping his feet up on the desk and leaning back in his chair. "Remember your place, high priest. It can't still be just about her, can it? Are you telling me you're not loyal to me? You're not like your friend Loris, are you? Are you?"
The implications of his words are clear. Either I go along with this happily as his high priest, or he will assume I am not loyal and dispose of me.
The urge to push back against him is strong. I want to tell him to fuck off, to storm out, to scream and yell that all of what I've done has been for nothing.
Because that's what this is.
I've aligned myself with Himureal. I have encouraged others to worship and follow him. I have helped manipulate the public perception of him.
I even planned the tournament that got my best friend killed.
I have done all of this to get Viola Mistflow back to Ytopie and by my side.
And now she will be here but not by my side.
Now she will be in Ytopie, just out of reach as she was before, only this time, instead of with Mace, who I know would never truly hurt her, she'll be shackled to Kon, a brute who I am sure would delight in trying to break a strong woman.
I don't have a choice. If I rebuke him, Viola will be here to face Kon and the Frostweaver alone. If I suck this up and fall in line, I can work towards continuing Loris' plan and protecting Viola the best I can.
Lowering myself back to the desk, I bow my head. "I am loyal to you." The words are putrid as they pass through my lips.
Dropping his feet, the Frostweaver leans forward and pats the top of my hands. "Good choice, Zeph. Your loyalty will be rewarded once we eliminate the threat of my siblings."
"Was what you said true? Do they want to enslave the people?"
"You cannot even begin to understand their cruelty. I am cruel, but I am just, high priest."
Somehow I doubt that, but it serves me no good to argue with him. "What about Viola? You said she was on her way here?" I try to hide the excitement in my voice. Maybe, once she gets here, if I put in the work and get a group willing to support her, we can work together and get out of here.
Maybe I can get her from Kon's clutches.
"I have a plan to get her here, yes. It's been underway for a bit and won't be much longer now."
He seems so sure of himself that it's hard for me to question what he's saying.
My mind is reeling, conflicting desires fighting for attention within my subconscious.
I may see Viola again soon.
But when I see her, she will be thrust into a betrothal to a man who would relish her pain.
Himureal seems so convincing in that the other Gods would be dangerous for us, but he is the one who struck my friend down in cold blood. It's hard to imagine they could be more dangerous than him .
What can I do but stick close to him and hope to protect Viola if and when she gets here while working through Loris' plan?
My friend died to keep Himureal from being in power.
And I'm going to do whatever it takes to ensure that was not in vain.