11. Sienna
CHAPTER 11
SIENNA
It’s been five weeks since our first date, and since then, we’ve been on two more really long ones. It’s my turn again next, and I’ve been trying to think of something cool to do. Mom gave me the idea of paintball last time, and we had so much fun. We even brought Noah, Emily, Olivia, and Kyle with us. Mostly to appease Zander’s parents, who seem hell-bent on him not forming any serious attachments with a girl.
Honestly, they act like I’m trying to ruin their son’s life.
Zander was stoked, especially because after the game, I stole him away for a trip into town, where I took him to an observatory and we got to see the rings of Saturn through the telescope, then froze our asses off on a picnic blanket outside, staring up at constellations and rewriting myths and legends to give us the endings we wanted. In our version, Hera didn’t make Hercules lose his mind and kill his family… and Medusa managed to outwit Athena and turn her into a snake-headed monster instead. My favorite rewrite was my version of Icarus, though, where the boy did get too close to the son, but his father managed to reach him in time, catching him before he fell to his death. They then became world-famous inventors, and according to me, the world can thank them for arcade games, popcorn machines, Nerds and Ferris wheels.
“Because who doesn’t love a good Ferris wheel ride,” I justified. “While eating Nerds, of course.”
Zander stuck out his tongue and made a gagging sound.
“What?” I protested.
“Nerds are gross.”
I gaped at him. “They’re only like the best candy ever. I can’t believe you don’t like Nerds.” I was horrified. They were my go-to and I was shocked that it hadn’t come up in conversation already.
“You eat all the Nerds you want, Sparky, just don’t share them with me.”
“Well, that works out great then.” I lifted my chin in the air. “The more Nerds for me the merrier.”
Zander chuckled in my ear, wrapping his arms around me to keep us warm. My teeth were starting to chatter, but I didn’t care. I would have stayed out under that clear night sky until we were both popsicles. Leaning against Zander’s broad chest was the best.
As were piggyback rides to his car, sitting on his knee in the cafeteria, and making out with him under the bleachers between the last bell and football practice starting.
To say he was late a time or ten… well worth it.
That’s what he says, anyway.
A week after our stargazing epicness, Zander drove me all the way to City of Rocks National Reserve. It took over two hours to get there, and I didn’t mind one little bit. We talked the whole way about everything and nothing.
I also introduced him to Taylor Swift, who really doesn’t need an introduction because she’s like the best artist in the world, and you’d have to be living in a cave without Wi-Fi to not know who she is.
But Zander didn’t really know , you know?
So, I played him all my favorite songs, and even though he tried to tell me she was just okay, I could tell he was into her Reputation album, and I definitely heard him humming along to “Anti-Hero,” which is the best song off her Midnights album, in my opinion.
While Tay-Tay gave us the perfect soundtrack for our conversation, I learned that Zander loves watching any kinds of sports on TV, especially the Olympic Games—high jump and pole vaulting are his favorite events. I told him I love gymnastics and diving… and that led us on a tangent of Olympics Games stories. By the time we wrapped that up, we decided we have to attend the games live at some point.
I also found out he’s a Broncos fan, which wasn’t hard to guess. Plus, he loves Mexican food, and if he’s having a cheat day, loaded fries are his go-to. My kinda guy. I love loaded fries.
We spent the afternoon walking around that national reserve, then made out against a massive boulder for a while. He’s such a good kisser. And I love the way he boxes me in with his arms, his hands on either side of my head, his eyes gazing at me like I’m beautiful. I could have stayed there for the rest of the weekend, his body pressed against mine, his tongue and lips doing insane things to my chest, stirring a yearning low in my belly and heating my body from head to toe.
But then his dad called, and Zander lied to him, saying he was working on an assignment with Noah. He then had to call Noah to cover for him, and I stood there wondering why he wasn’t telling the truth.
Was I really that awful?
When I asked, he mumbled something about his dad not getting it and then got kind of quiet and grumpy. We left only twenty minutes later. The drive back was subdued, and I tried to cheer him up by playing “guess that song” off my Spotify playlist. He got into it for a minute, but his enthusiasm quickly waned, so I shifted to movie quotes and then random trivia questions. He did pretty well, and it only confirmed how meant to be we are. The fact that he knew the answers to so many of my questions is simple proof that we like a lot of the same stuff. If only that had been enough to stop him from going quiet and frowning again.
“Hey, Zander?”
“Yeah?”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
He glanced my way but wouldn’t hold my gaze.
“I know you find your dad stressful. Is there anything I can do to help?”
His scoff was sharp with bitterness. “Dad wants my entire life to be about football and nothing else! He won’t shut up about college ball and how important it is. It’s like he has no faith in me but then expects me to be the best quarterback in the country. Brighton is interested, and so is Kelsey U. Sure, we still haven’t had any offers from the other colleges yet, but I’ve got this! I’ll be signing with Brighton as soon as they confirm their offer. I don’t actually want anywhere else, but Dad seems to think of this as some kind of failure. Like if I’m not being approached by multiple schools, then I’m not working hard enough. But I’m choosing Brighton.” He looked at me then, an intense kind of stare before turning back to the road and whispering, “It has to be Brighton.”
He raged for a while longer, and I sat there quietly and let him get it all out.
Once he’d simmered down, I wasn’t sure what to say, so I pumped Taylor Swift and started belting out the lyrics… and after only two songs, he joined me for the course of “Shake It Off.” Epic.
By the time he dropped me home, we were back to laughter and smiles.
I kissed him deeply and promised him more where that came from.
Which is exactly what I’m doing right now.
Everyone at school knows we’re a couple, and thankfully, Olivia and her neighbor, Rick, are going through a “back on again” phase, so they invited us out on a double date. To the drive-in movies.
I didn’t even know these existed anymore, but we drove about an hour out of Everett to this cool field Olivia had seen on Insta, and here we are, like two couples from the 1950s, making out in our cars while a movie plays on the outdoor screen.
At first I didn’t get why Rick wanted to take two cars. It’s not much of a double date if we’re not hanging out together, right? But from the sounds coming from next door… and the steam fogging up the windows… I get it now.
And I kinda don’t mind, because Zander and I are having a great time fogging up our own windows.
His tongue glides against mine, his strong hands roaming my back. I’m wearing his letterman jacket, because I feel naked without it now. I’ve been walking the halls with that thing swamping me for over a month, and I love it.
About ten minutes ago, he wiggled his fingers beneath it so he could explore my back. I’m glad I’m wearing a fitted shirt, as it makes it easier to feel him. My moan is soft and impossible to hide.
He smiles against my lips, then pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him in the passenger seat. I really like the way he feels beneath me. I love being this close to him, and my body is already aching for more. This fire inside me seems to spark a little brighter and hotter every time we make out.
I can’t deny this growing sense of wanting more, but I also feel like I’m not quite ready for it. My brain and my heart are at war as Zander’s hands keep roaming, gliding down and palming my ass, pushing me against him so I can feel the hard ridge in his pants.
With a soft gasp, I pull back, my chest heaving as I stare down at him.
“My body’s on fire,” I admit.
“Mine too.” His voice is that husky rasp that sends delicious shivers through my belly. I love his voice, his eyes, his smile, his lips.
I gaze at him in the dim light, drinking in his beautiful face?—
“Ahhhh.” A moan from Rick’s car makes my head spin. I glance across and notice it kind of rocking, then spot this gyrating shadow in the passenger seat and?—
“Are they doing it?” My eyes bulge.
Zander cranes his neck to take a look and then snickers. “It appears so.”
“At the drive-in?” I whisper. “They’re actually having sex.”
His hands rest on my thighs as a wave of heat crashes through me.
“What if someone walks past their window or something? I mean… I can practically see them doing it.”
Cupping my cheek, Zander turns me back to face him. “Don’t look. Just focus on me.”
I smile, my insides melting as I study his gorgeous face, then run my fingers into his hair. He closes his eyes with a groan, and I give his scalp a massage, nerves firing through me as I work up the courage to ask… “Have you ever done it before?”
His eyes pop open and he stares up at me, licking his lips before shaking his head. “No. You?”
“No.” I laugh out the words, because isn’t it so freaking obvious?
I feel so clueless on this whole sex thing.
I mean, I guess I know the scientific logistics of it. He puts his thing in my thing, and apparently it feels good.
But that’s about all I’ve got.
I could ask Olivia for deets, but that feels kind of mortifying.
As open as my parents always seem to be, we’ve never really delved into the whole sex conversation. Sure, I’ve noticed their flirty smiles and flushed looks when they leave their bedroom sometimes. But no human on the planet wants to think about their parents having sex… and I think I’d rather die than have some raw, honest conversation about it with them.
So far, they’ve just dropped subtle comments every now and again, like “Porn isn’t the way sex should be.”
Well, I’ve never watched porn, so I don’t know what they’re talking about.
“You should save sex for someone who is really important to you.”
Well, I’ve found that someone, so…
“Should we be having sex?” I murmur, then realize I just said that out loud.
Oh shit, what the hell is wrong with me!
My cheeks flame as Zander gives me a soft smile, looking just a touch nervous. “I’d like to. I mean… I’d like you to be my first.”
“Really?” My voice goes all soft and wispy.
“Of course. When you’re ready, I’m all in.”
My giggle is nervous, and I start playing with the ends of my hair. “I don’t know if I am yet. I mean… I love kissing you and making out. And sometimes my body feels like it wants to do more, but…”
“It’s okay,” he whispers, taking my agitated hands and threading our fingers together. “There’s no rush.”
The look on his face right now… he’s the sweetest guy on the planet. “I do want you. I want us to do it…” I nod, realizing how much I mean that. “But… maybe not at a drive-in movie.”
He laughs and pulls me down to kiss him. “I agree,” he mumbles between kisses, his tongue lashing against mine before he starts trailing kisses down to my neck and murmuring, “There’s no pressure, baby. I don’t want you to ever feel forced into anything.”
I tip my head back, giving him better access to my neck and groaning at the delicious licks of pleasure skimming through my body. A tingling between my legs has me pushing against his hard ridge, and I softly pant, “And what if I’m maybe ready to do more than making out, but I’m not quite ready to go all the way?”
He pulls back, grinning up at me with a level of excitement that’s contagious.
I giggle at his playful smile, then enjoy the trembling in my stomach when he tells me, “We can do that.”