15. Sienna
CHAPTER 15
SIENNA
Zander has been kinda off this week. I noticed it the second I saw him on Monday morning, but he won’t admit that anything’s wrong.
He’s still sweet and lovely and the best boyfriend ever. But he’s distracted. Something is gnawing at him, and I’m desperate to find out what it is. I’ve tried to subtly prod for information, but we haven’t exactly had much alone time together, and he obviously doesn’t want to get into it around his friends.
Our usual three-hour video chats that go late into the night have been cut short thanks to his parents… and I’m guessing that is the problem.
They so obviously don’t want us to be together.
Which is, like… ouch.
It sucks.
I don’t know what their problem is.
I thought I was likable. I’m polite and nice to people. Why don’t they want me dating their son?
The thought has embedded itself inside me, and now Zander’s not the only one who’s kinda off. At lunchtime today, we sat together in the cafeteria, holding hands under the table. Zander’s thumb drew little circles over the back of my hand—I love that feeling so much!—but we didn’t really talk or look at each other. We listened to Noah tell jokes and laughed when Olivia started hassling him for being a sexist douche.
“Your jokes suck, No-No. Seriously, you’re never gonna get a girlfriend.”
“Like I’d ever want one,” he retorted, and I darted my eyes to Zander, suddenly worrying that maybe he didn’t want one anymore. Maybe this whole couple thing was getting to be too much for him.
Did he want out?
Were his parents encouraging him to break up with me?
My heart has been bleeding ever since, and I seriously hate my brain for festering on that thought, but I can’t seem to stop myself.
I don’t want Zander and me to be over!
It makes concentrating in class damn near impossible, and when the teacher tells me off for a second time, I mumble a quick “I’m so sorry, sir. My head’s feeling kinda funny.” Getting out of my chair, I walk toward him with a big fat lie, leaning in and whispering, “I’ve got my period, and I’m not feeling too great.”
He gives me a quick side-eye and shuffles to his desk, scribbling me a quick hall pass and muttering, “Go see the nurse.”
It’s an effort to keep my eyebrows from popping up in surprise. I was just looking for a little leniency for the rest of the class, but okay.
Grabbing my stuff, I head out the door, a little annoyed with myself that I now have to keep up this charade for the rest of the day. Crossing my arms, I shuffle slowly down the hallway, wondering what the longest route is, because the nurse will see right through me and?—
“Sienna.”
I spin to find Zander chasing after me. “Are you okay?”
He looks so worried, my heart does this funny hiccup in my chest.
“Yeah, I’m just…” I point behind me, then tip my head in confusion. “How did you…?”
“Olivia texted me to say the teacher was sending you to the nurse, but she didn’t know what was wrong. I got a pass to come check on you.” He holds up the plastic bathroom pass, and I watch it swing off the key ring while biting my lip. “Hey.” Zander’s voice softens to a gentle lilt as he takes my wrist, tugging me down the corridor. “I’ll walk you to the nurse.”
“I don’t need to go there,” I quickly blurt, then squeeze my eyes shut with embarrassment.
“What?” Zander jerks to a stop, his lips toying with one of those smiles that always makes my knees weak. I gaze up at his sculpted face. and my stomach starts jittering. “Sparky, did you lie to get out of class? A good girl like you?”
I can’t help a soft snicker, dipping my chin and shrugging. “I was just trying to get out of being told off again.”
“You got told off?” Now he’s even more surprised, and… well, I must be blushing.
Shit, just tell him already.
I wince. “I was struggling to concentrate, and he kept picking me for answers and I couldn’t tell him.” I rub my forehead.
“What’s the matter?” His voice is all husky, his fingers gentle as he runs them down my ponytail.
“I just… got into my head a bit.”
“About what?”
“You and me?” I cringe and bite my lip. “Things have been kinda weird this week, and my brain started spiraling, you know?”
He doesn’t say anything, and the look on his face makes dread pool in my stomach.
Oh shit. I’m right!
Just get it over with, Sen.
With my heart sinking down to my knees, I quickly blurt, “Look, if you want to break up with me, you should just do it fast. It’ll be brutal, but I think I’d prefer that to you stringing me along and—” My voice starts to wobble and pitch, my throat swelling as I clench my jaw and look away from him.
“Sparky,” he whispers, his hands cupping my cheeks and coaxing me to look up at him. “Why the hell would I want to break up with you?”
“Because your parents don’t want us together!” My voice pitches desperately.
He snorts and shakes his head. “Like I’d let them stop me.”
“But…” I sniff and grab his wrist, brushing my thumb over his pulse. “You’ve been off lately, and I can tell there’s tension at home for you. Am I the reason why? I’ve been trying to ask you about it, but I’ve been too scared to just come out and say it.” I huff. “Your parents don’t like me, do they? They don’t want us together. I mean, I knew they didn’t want us getting too serious too fast, but now they’re wanting you to end it. Right?”
He sighs, resting his forehead against mine. “It’s not about you. I mean… you could be any girl on the planet and they’d be having issues. They don’t want me with anyone .”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a distraction.” His nostrils flare, and I can feel the anger vibrating off him. “They’ve been riding me big-time over football, and they’re desperate for me to get this letter of intent, but we’re still waiting on verbal offers… or written offers. Any offers, really. Until I get one, they won’t chill out. They want me to focus on my studies and football and not get distracted by anything else.” His face mottles when he lets out another huff. “It’s been going on ever since we got together, and I’m so over it. Mom’s usually on my side, but she and Dad are double-teaming me on this thing, and it’s fucking painful.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make life difficult for you.”
“You don’t.” He tugs me forward, kissing me like he means it before leaning away and whispering, “You are the best thing in my life right now, and I hate that they’re getting in the way of that. I want to be with you, Sen. I want to spend every waking second with you, and it kills me every time they interrupt us or threaten to confiscate my phone like I’m a fucking five-year-old.” His voice gets snappy and terse.
I gaze up at him, feeling how torturous this all is. It’s unbelievable. He’s basically an adult now, and they’re treating him like a toddler who needs monitoring 24/7.
“I don’t understand why they’re acting like this,” I murmur.
He sighs. “They’re just projecting their shit all over me,” he mutters. “They got together in high school, and now they’re divorced. They both always go on about how being together held them back and how great their lives would have been if they’d managed to go off and find themselves and not been caught up in a serious relationship. Mom got pregnant while they were in college, and Dad seems to think that’s the reason he didn’t get drafted into the NFL. He got distracted with baby stuff instead of focusing on the game.” His expression buckles.
And my heart sinks, which must show because he leans forward and whispers against my cheek, “That’s not going to happen to us. I don’t give a shit what they say. I’m not breaking up with you.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” He’s so emphatic, it makes my belly start to flutter again. “And I don’t care that they want me to consider colleges that are miles away. I’m not going anywhere but Brighton. I’m not leaving you.” His eyebrows rise, and I could drown in his gaze right about now.
He’s got the big feels… for me.
My smile grows a mile wide. “I love you.”
I didn’t mean to just come out and say it like that. But there it is. Three little words that I can’t take back. But I mean them with everything I have, so why would I even want to?
I hold my breath, wondering how he’ll react.
But his gaze softens, cloaking me like a warm blanket. “I love you, too, Sparky.”
Yes!!! I can’t believe he just said it so easily!
He loves me!
Reaching up, I curl my arm around his neck and plant my mouth on his.
The hallway is empty, but he still walks us backward until we’re tucked behind a locker, our kiss turning into a heated make-out session as he boxes me against the wall and makes me forget everything but his lips and tongue and chiseled body pressing against mine.
He loves me.
Fisting the back of his hair, I softly groan into his mouth, loving the way his hands roam, gliding down my body and lightly squeezing my ass before trailing down my thigh.
His touch ignites me in ways nothing else can, and that burn for him starts to build again.
“I want to feel your skin on mine,” I murmur between kisses.
“I know, baby. I’ve been aching for you.”
Pulling away, I gaze up at his face, seeing how much he means it and feeling that warm comfort spread through me. He really doesn’t want to break up with me.
Because he loves you!
“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to make it work.” He winces. “You have no idea how much I’ve been pining for you.”
For some reason, my eyes start to glisten, and oh shit. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
He gives me a pained frown. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was going on. Shit, I can’t believe you thought I wanted to break up with you. Never think that, okay? Not for one second.”
“Okay,” I whisper, my lips trembling into a relieved smile.
He loves me.
Holy shit, he loves me!
Skimming my fingers down his neck, I fidget with the collar of his jacket, my voice quaking with nerves. “When do you think we can be alone together again? I so wish my parents were out tonight or away.”
“My dad’s away,” he murmurs, his eyes darting right as he obviously formulates a quick plan. “I’m staying with Mom this week, but I could make up some excuse. Noah or Kyle could cover for me, and we could…” His smile grows as he brushes the tip of his nose against mine. “If you wait for me after practice, we could go to his place.” His thumb skims over my bottom lip. “We could be all alone together. We could… try some stuff.”
My left eyebrow quirks up as a giddy thrill dances through my stomach. “Try some stuff?”
His cheeks flush pink as he fights a grin. “I may or may not have been doing some special research on…” He leans forward, pressing his cheek against mine and whispering in my ear, “How to make you come.”
Another thrill races through me—an addictive buzz of electricity that makes my lady parts tingle.
He’s been researching?
I have no idea what that means or what it entails, but?—
“It’s your turn to take your pants off, baby.” He crushes his mouth to mine, his tongue swiping between my lips with a hungry possession that I am so here for.
“After school,” I pant.
“After school,” he mumbles back before devouring me with one more heated kiss.
The bell pulls us apart a few seconds later, and we both jolt, like we’re coming out of a trance and didn’t even realize we were still on planet Earth.
With a soft laugh, he wipes my glistening lips with his thumb and gives me a heated look, followed by a sexy wink that turns my insides to melted goo.
“I’ll see you after practice, Sparks.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
I watch him walk away, my stomach doing somersaults as another shot of electricity buzzes through me.
Yep, I am so in love with Zander Donohue… and he loves me too.
With a drunken spin, I twirl twice before the hall starts filling with bodies and I’m forced to act like a normal person and walk to my next class when all I want to do is float.