Chapter Nineteen
The next Sunday after church, Dalisay hears a knock at the door.
She opens it and is surprised to see Claire standing on the porch.
“Claire!” Dalisay says.
She smiles, a little shy. Today she’s wearing a blazer, a T-shirt, and tight-fitting jeans. She’s holding what looks like a plate of homemade cookies wrapped in cellophane. “Hey, Dalisay.”
She had almost forgotten about Nicole’s promise to invite Claire over. Work has been so crazy lately, other things in her life have been put on the back burner. She feels like a complete dunce for having forgotten, and it takes a second for Dalisay to realize she’s left Claire standing in the doorway too long. “Come in!” she says, stepping aside.
Claire does and kicks off her shoes.
“You made cookies?” Dalisay asks, indicating the plate.
Claire gives her a little wink and leans in, whispering, “I bought them at Safeway. Wanted to look like I know what I’m doing in a kitchen because I know how important that is for your mom.”
Dalisay can’t help but smile. She likes Claire. She’s a good fit for Nicole. And Nicole must have heard them come in, because she appears at the top of the stairs to the main area of the house.
“Hi!” Nicole says, a little breathless.
She takes the plate from Claire and introduces her to the rest of the family as they’re getting the table ready for lunch. Everyone welcomes Claire with open arms, immediately showering her with compliments and food.
“You must be Nicole’s friend! So good to meet you!” Mom says.
“Is that your motorcycle outside? So cool,” says Daniel.
“Are you eating enough? Come, sit,” Lola says.
Claire beams and glances at Nicole, whose ears are bright pink, but she’s smiling so wide, Dalisay can almost see the rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins.
Everyone sits at the table and conversation flows as easily as the buko juice. Claire compliments Lola’s cooking, and Lola takes kindly to that, speaking in Tagalog about how polite Claire is. “She knows what good food tastes like! Learn from her, Daniel,” Lola says to Daniel in English, who looks slighted for being called out in front of a stranger.
“I like good food!” he says, mostly to Claire. “I just like certain good foods.”
Claire tries all the food, and there’s not a second that goes by that her plate is empty. Everyone shovels more food on it than she can keep up with. Dalisay wonders if Nicole will tell her she doesn’t have to eat everything, that it’s more of a sign of respect to fill a plate than expect anyone to eat all of it.
“So you know Nicole from medical school,” her mom says. “Are you studying hard?”
Claire nods, wiping her mouth politely before answering. “I am! I really like it. It’s really tough, though. Nicole makes it look so easy, she’s so smart,” Claire says, glancing at Nicole at her side.
On Nicole’s other side, Dalisay nudges her with an elbow as if to say, I’m proud of you. Nicole’s cheeks must hurt, she’s been smiling so much.
“What specialty are you choosing?” Mom asks as she spoons another serving of adobo onto Claire’s plate.
“Uh, pediatrics,” says Claire. She looks at the food like she’s climbing Mount Everest but hides it with a smile. She must be so full by now.
“Pediatrics! See, Nicole! That’s what I’ve been telling you! I’ve been saying you should become a family doctor so you can work with the community here.”
Nicole sighs and rests her forehead on her fist. “I know, Mom. It’s what I’m going to do! I was just figuring things out. It hasn’t been easy …”
“I know it’s not easy! But Claire is setting a good example for you! You’d be wise to follow her path.” She turns back to Claire. “Did you know that when Nicole was little, she was deathly afraid of needles?”
“Mom!” Nicole groans.
“It’s true! She would scream and cry and hold on to me whenever we went to the doctor’s office for checkups. Nothing like her sister. Dalisay was always an angel. Never complained, not even once.”
Now it’s Dalisay’s turn to groan. The only reason she never complained was because she didn’t want to embarrass her family. She was afraid of needles too.
“Trypanophobia is common,” says Claire. “I think it’d be a good thing if Nicole became a family doctor. She’d know how scary it can be for kids. I think there’s strength in empathy. But no matter what she chooses, it will only help people, and she’ll be incredible at it.”
Nicole’s face is bright red.
Daniel leans back in his chair, arms crossed casually over his chest. “Well, I think Nicole should become a brain surgeon and make as much money as possible—that way we can all live in luxury.”
“As if I’m gonna spend a dime on you,” says Nicole with a smirk.
A child’s scream cuts through the air—Little Luis. Melinda must be having a hard time getting him to settle down for his nap. He’s been a whirling dervish all morning.
“Or,” says Daniel, wincing at the sound, “you can send Little Luis away to boarding school back in the Philippines.”
Their mom hisses at him and throws her napkin at his face. They argue in Tagalog, with Daniel saying it was just a joke and their mom saying it’s not funny. Dalisay catches Nicole and Claire glancing at each other, hiding their giggles, and she breathes a sigh of relief.
By the time dessert comes around, the conversation circles back to Claire.
“So, Claire,” says Mom. “Tell us about your family! Is there a lucky man in your life?”
Claire looks up from her plate, shocked. She glances around the table with wide eyes and then she smiles. “Actually, uh …”
Nicole’s shoulders go stiff, but she stabs at her carioca with her spoon.
“No,” Claire says.
“Really?” Mom says, impressed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Nicole hardly has any time either. It’s like she lives at that hospital. She’s hardly ever home. All my children seem to want to work more than spend time with us.”
Blink or you’ll miss it, Nicole and Claire share a glance, but Dalisay is paying attention. Her stomach sits high in her gut, and her heart rate spikes. She can tell that Nicole isn’t ready.
“You can’t just ask people things about who they’re dating here, Mama,” Daniel says, coming to Nicole’s rescue. Dalisay isn’t sure if he’s picked up on the truth, but based on the way he looks at Nicole, she thinks he might have. “That’s private stuff.”
“It’s an innocent question! I’m sure being a doctor, you’ll have all the men chasing after you soon enough,” Mom says, laughing.
Dalisay pinches her lips closed. She isn’t sure what to do, but their mom seems to be on a roll.
“Becoming a doctor is the most important thing. Being a married doctor is the second,” she says with satisfaction, as if she’s bestowing the table with great wisdom.
Nicole takes a deep, unsteady breath. Dalisay finds Nicole’s hand under the table. She’s nervous, her palm slick with sweat. Dalisay assures her with a squeeze. You got this, she means to say. Nicole squeezes back.
“Actually,” Nicole says. Everyone turns to look at her. “Claire is …” Nicole trails off and she sits up straighter and levels her shoulders. She holds out her hand for Claire and Claire smiles tentatively before taking it. They place their clasped hands on the table.
“Claire and I are dating,” Nicole says, eyes shining.
No one moves. Dalisay’s pretty sure it’s so quiet, they can hear a dog barking two blocks over.
“What?” Daniel asks.
“I’m gay,” Nicole says, lifting her chin. “It’s … I’m gay. Yeah.”
Everyone stays frozen, like she’s said a curse word. A second passes, and then another.
“But you don’t look gay,” Mom says. Nicole probably doesn’t know how to respond to that. Her mouth works uselessly. “You’re both too pretty!”
“It … it doesn’t work like that, Mom,” Nicole says. “I’m gay. I’ve known for a while. I’m telling you now.”
“But … why?” their mom asks. Nicole almost laughs in disbelief. She looks at Dalisay for support and Dalisay gives her hand another squeeze.
“You’re … Nicole, you’re not!” Their mom’s eyes shine silver with tears that are about to overflow.
Lola swirls her spoon in her dessert.
“I’m gay,” Nicole says again. Dalisay can hear the wobble in her voice. Claire holds Nicole’s hand so tightly, her already-pale fingers have turned white. The air feels staticky and full.
Dalisay can’t help herself. She leaps in, playing defense. “It’s okay, Mom. Nothing’s changed, she’s still our same Nicole.”
“But … who—What about—” Their mom has a hard time finding any words before she bursts into tears, weeping into her hands. She’s a blubbering mess as she gets up, rushing toward the bedroom. She slams the door behind her.
Daniel follows after her. “Mom, wait!”
Nicole’s face turns red from a mixture of fury, embarrassment, and hurt. Her eyes shine with tears, but she’s shaking so much, they can’t fall. She gets up and storms toward the front door.
Claire wordlessly runs after her.
Dalisay throws her napkin on the table and chases after Nicole but by then, she and Claire are already gone. The front door slams closed, ringing through the whole house.
Dalisay’s heart shatters into a million pieces. What an utter disaster.
“What’s going on?” Melinda asks, appearing from the hallway. She must have finally gotten Little Luis to bed and heard the commotion. “Where is everyone?”
Dalisay goes back to the table and squeezes the back of the chair. Melinda stands at the head of the table, taking in everything with a confused shake of her head and her palms up, waiting for an answer, but no one says anything except for Lola.
“The halo-halo is delicious.”