Chapter 56
FIFTY-SIX
[Love is…] when you care for them and are there for them when you need them.
A grim-faced Gil met us at the house. He took Mikey into Ollie’s old room, where he’d been sleeping, and closed the door. I had to get to work, so I didn’t have time to see what happened and no amount of putting my ear to the door was getting me any information.
All through breakfast, I replayed Mikey explaining that he wanted to go home. “Where Gilly goes, I go.”
Maybe it was time for me to let this all go.
Who was I to say my dreams were bigger than Gil’s reality?
It was selfish—selfish and cruel of me to keep fighting this.
Gil needed the money. I’d get a lot of money, too.
Oliver and I would be fine. Maybe we’d move up to Oklahoma where my parents were. Not with them, but near them.
The award for Small Business Owner of the Year glinted from its place of honor where I’d hung it.
I’d started over once before here in Two Harts.
I could leave my brother and Mae and Ali and the café and that gazebo and it would be okay.
Maybe my time here was done. Maybe there was a new dream somewhere else.
It would be hard, but as Sunny liked to say, nothing good ever comes easy.
I hoped I could convince Sunny to do video sessions with me.
Of course, there was Gil. Even now, tears welled up thinking about him and what could have been. But he’d never said the words or made promises, even if I’d foolishly hoped for more. I wasn’t going to be another person who he had to take care of. I refused to put that on him.
Chris picked up Oliver at lunchtime to spend some time with his cousin.
The rest of the day went by quickly and it being a Tuesday, Teddy stopped by after closing to get a meal and chat.
But Gil also showed up. He had bags under his eyes and the lines around his mouth seemed deeper somehow.
I wanted to smooth out the worry lines on his forehead with my fingers.
He seemed a decade older than he had yesterday.
Mikey trailed behind him with his tablet and tucked himself into a booth in the far corner.
“Hey there, Gilbert,” Teddy said, raising a fork in the air. “How are you?”
“Been better.” Gil’s smile was lukewarm at best, but he slid into a seat across from his great-uncle. “How about you?”
Teddy grinned. “Better now that I get to eat this.”
I brought over a piece of lemon cream pie and set it in front of him. Before I could move away, Teddy’s hand wrapped around my wrist. “What’s up with you two? You look as sad as those clown figures Ollie’s mother collected. Those things always gave me the creeps, to be honest.”
I pulled out a chair and sat next to him. “Just tired.”
And hurt and sad and wishing life worked out the way I wanted it to. Just once.
Teddy dug into his pie. “I was worried about you two at first, but I do think Ollie was right. You look real good together.”
“We aren’t together,” I said, but I was looking at Gil. “Gil is leaving next week to go back to Austin. It looks like we’ll be selling.”
Teddy’s fork clanked on the table. “You’re what?”
“Selling. It’s the best decision,” I said firmly, directing my words to Gil.
The words didn’t hurt to say out loud as much as I thought they would.
In fact, it felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. A decision had been made.
Plans could be made. I could get on with figuring out life without Gil’s presence.
“We need to talk about this,” he said; there was a look in his eyes I couldn’t read.
Teddy slumped in his seat. “That’s not what’s supposed to happen.”
“A lot of things weren’t supposed to happen,” Gil said, still watching me. “Seems like we don’t have any control of those things most of the time.”
Teddy’s head swiveled as he looked between the two of us.
“There’s been so much this year,” Gil said. “My stepdad, Mikey, Ollie, and…other things.”
“Am I the other things?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He shook his head and turned away. “Mikey hasn’t had time to process everything that’s happened.”
“Neither have you,” I said gently.
“What happens now?” he asked.
“Let’s not make a hasty decision,” Teddy said. We both ignored him.
“You wait five more days and you go back to Austin and your life with Mikey. We’ll take that offer from Peter and live our lives.” Not together though. That had never been on the table, had it?
Gil looked at me, something like longing in his expression. “What will you do?”
I tried to smile. “Don’t worry about Oliver and me. We’ll be okay. We always are.”
And that was the truth. We would be okay.
A shroud of silence seemed to cover the house over the next five days. Oliver and Mikey were, at first, oblivious to it. But when Gil began to pack up his room, sadness joined the party.
“Mommy,” Oliver said one night at bedtime, “why is that day circled on the calendar?”
I remembered circling that date—exactly six months from the day Gil moved into the backyard. It was a countdown, the prize at the end of this was Gil leaving. Or at least, that’s what past me was sure of way back then. But six months could change a lot of things.
“Remember how Gil and Mikey have a home in Austin?” I crawled into his bed and laid down next to him.
He nodded and fought back a yawn.
“That’s the day they’re moving back to their house.”
“But that’s in two days.” He slow-blinked. “I don’t want them to go.”
“I know, honey,” I said. “But that’s just the way it is.”
I was thankful he fell asleep before he could reply.
The last day, Gil didn’t say much. His room was cleaned out, his toolbelt packed. He even sold the motorcycle. He’d been quietly saying goodbye to the friends he’d made over the last week, but he hadn’t said it to me. Not yet. I was dreading it.
He knocked on my bedroom door a little after midnight.
I flipped on the light and answered, knowing I looked like a hot mess in mismatched pajamas. If he looked closely enough, he’d see I’d cried myself to sleep. To be honest, he wasn’t winning any beauty contests either. I’d never seen him quite so disheveled.
“I can’t sleep,” he said. He looked so pitiful. “I’m so tired.”
With a sigh, I pulled him into my room. If he was shocked, he didn’t show it.
He walked slowly around my room and I realized he’d never been in here before.
I imagined him taking note of my clothes piles or how my shoes were thrown in the closet and not matched.
He picked up a few of the photos I had on my dresser. Smiled at one with Oliver in it.
My heart sank as I realized we didn’t have a photo of us together. Another thing to lament later, when he was gone, and I was living with Oliver in a van by the river because we no longer had a home. But a very nice van and a very safe river with all of our money in the bank.
Yes, I was being dramatic. I used to be an actress. They don’t let just anyone play the love interest in Kangaroo’d Three .
Finally, he made his way back to me. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug.
I didn’t resist. I’d thought I’d cried all the tears already, but I planted my face on his chest, and they came again.
He let me stay there for a while, until, for the second time, all the tears were gone, before leading me to the bed and tucking me in.
When he was done, he kissed my forehead. “Night.”
“Stay with me.” I grabbed his hand before he could leave and tugged.
He hesitated.
“Please?” I love you .
“Okay.” I pretended he said I love you back .
So, he did. He turned off the lights and crawled in next to me. He let me curl around him. We laid there for a long time before my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep to the steady beat of his heart.