Chapter 5
S he arrived at the market and took a wary look around, making certain no insane local would accost her. Satisfied that she was alone, she hopped out and locked the door.
“You don’t have to do that here.”
Celeste closed her eyes and let out an aggrieved sigh. When she opened her eyes again, she saw yet another handsome man smiling down at her. At this point there seemed to be so many of them she was beginning to wonder if the town was some kind of experimental wasteland. Had they put things in the food and water to make men turn out this way? So handsome, debonair, and charming. First Elliot, then his father, Tony, and now this unknown man with perfectly sculpted wavy brown hair and a wide smile. Her gaze focused on the teeth, ready to back away if they were black. They weren’t, though. They were almost phosphorescently pearly and white. Were they real? Her finger itched to poke them and find out. Belatedly she realized she hadn’t spoken.
“What?”
“The door, you don’t have to lock it. I realize it’s a hard habit to break, but the only danger here is from bears in search of food. And the locks don’t slow them down much. They use hangers to bypass them.”
She blinked at him.
He blinked in return. “That was a joke. You can laugh.”
“Ha.”
He sighed and gave his head a little self-deprecating shake that did nothing to alter the state of his helmet hair. Exactly how much putty and or hairspray was this guy wearing? And why? “Okay, look, let’s address the elephant in the room.”
She made a show of looking around. “We’re outside.”
“The figurative elephant. Yes, I am considerably famous. No, I am not a snob. Yes, I will sign an autograph for your ‘friend.’” He actually used air quotes when he said that.
Celeste glanced behind him to make certain no one was chasing him with a giant net. “Are you hitting on me?”
He blanched. “What? No, of course not. I’m happily married, everyone knows that. I have four kids.” Here he dabbed his sleeve against his forehead.
“My condolences,” Celeste replied.
He lowered his arm and scowled at her. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” she asked, genuinely puzzled. What was she doing? Nothing but searching for an escape hatch out of this conversation, out of this town.
“Don’t be one of those women who pretends children are awful. Children are life’s greatest blessing. I would have a million of them, if Chloe would consent.”
She presumed Chloe was his wife. Her arms crossed over herself in challenge. “Apparently Chloe doesn’t believe they’re so great.”
“She does. She loves our brood, it’s just…”
“Just what?” she prodded with no idea why. How was she standing in the middle of a parking lot talking reproduction with this weird stranger?
“She says women aren’t designed to be water sprinklers, spitting out a new baby every few months.”
“I like her already,” Celeste declared.
“You definitely would, once she warms up to you. She’s shy. Also crazy busy because, you know, four children. Do you really not know me?”
Celeste pressed herself against her SUV with prickles of alarm. “Have we met?” A better question would be did he know her? Had The Colonel told anyone who she was or why she was here? Was this where he deposited people after he was done with them? Was the entire town populated with former assassins? That would explain a whole lot about the populace’s shaky mental wellbeing.
The man in front of her stared in shock, mouth agape. “You’re serious. You have no idea who I am.”
“The town lunatic? When it rains, do you take off your pants and play tambourine at the airport?” she guessed.
Instead of being insulted, he stepped forward and hugged her, very briefly until she squirmed and shoved him away. “You’re the one I’ve been searching for,” he whispered.
“So creepy,” she said, wrenching free of his embrace with another shove for good measure. Far from being offended, he was now beaming at her.
“This is incredible. Wait until I tell Chloe.”
“Tell her what? That you hit on me, told me I should have babies, and then hugged me? Exactly how understanding is your wife?”
“She’s going to love this,” he muttered, ignoring everything else she said. Maybe there was no Chloe. Maybe he really was crazy, in which case she should probably feel bad for making fun of him. Once again Celeste’s gaze traveled the horizon. Was this some sort of post-army wasteland? A place The Colonel used to stash all his difficult and antisocial operatives? She was really beginning to think it might be possible, especially when she looked forward again and realized the mystery guy was gone, had disappeared entirely as if he never existed. Maybe he hadn’t. Maybe her imagination was already playing tricks on her after so many days isolated at her orchard.
Cautiously, she made her way into the market. People stared, but no one else accosted her. She was able to load her cart with everything she’d need for a week—maybe two, if she worked hard to make it last. She loaded the items in the truck and headed for home when her stomach began to growl. Loudly. Lately she’d been subsisting on dry cereal and coffee and it wasn’t enough. She needed food, real food. And since she still had no idea how to cook, the thought of all the frozen meals she’d bought left her wanting.
Without allowing herself to overthink it, she turned and headed toward the diner she’d spotted at the edge of town. The lot was loaded with cars, so much that they overflowed into a nearby lot. Not that it meant much in a town where there was nothing else. But so many years in the army and traveling the world had taught her to care more about sustenance than taste. As long as it had calories and some redeeming nutritional value, she’d be satisfied.
Once again she parked and took a few breaths, gearing herself up to go inside and face the townspeople. It didn’t seem to matter how standoffish she looked or seemed. They talked to her anyway, and about bizarre, random things. She would have to change tactics and become blasé, so boring and vanilla she failed to arouse their curiosity. Mentally she prepped a few phrases to break out, bland things that wouldn’t invite further speculation. I retired from the army and moved here from DC. How could anyone want to know more after that? As far as Paradise was concerned, there was absolutely nothing special about her, outside the fact that she was new.
Having never lived in a small town before, she vastly underestimated how fascinating “new” was to the people who lived there.