Chapter 3 #5
He tapped the side of his pipe. “I’ll have the shadow keepers start their inquiries. If dissenters are hiding in the city, they will sniff them out. Someone must know something. Whoever did this didn’t simply want to humiliate the queen; they’re looking to dismantle the crown.”
I frowned. “Because she decided to attack Yulreth?”
He shrugged, too nonchalant. “The common folk of Isenheim might have mortal life spans, but their memories are long. Whatever is brewing inside the city walls goes deeper than just this campaign.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re so certain.”
“Oh, I am.” He grinned, flashing white teeth against the dark. “But not to worry, Captain. We’ll find that traitorous scum and whoever aided them. We will string their bodies off the parapets until the narkra pick their bones clean.”
The thought of those featherless, pale-skinned birds with glowing white eyes and sharp, hooked beaks designed to break through frozen flesh made my skin pimple.
I pulled the reins of my mare as the stablehand brought her forward. “Going to take her for a ride, but I’ll return after supper so we can go over the detailed plans. I only want our most skilled spies on this operation.”
“Of course, Captain.” Varik tipped his head, but his eyes lingered, assessing.
“Though, if I may, you look like Hel herself just spat you back out. Maybe take the night off? I can handle things here. We can meet with the guard tomorrow and discuss our strategy in more depth then. It’s been a long day for everyone. ”
I hesitated. Everything in me screamed against stepping away from duty, but I wasn’t in the right headspace, and I knew it.
My mind was torn between the threats against our city and the ache still twisting inside me from my conversation with Jack.
If I wanted to do my job properly, I needed my wits about me.
And I also needed to pack. Tomorrow, I’d be moving into the palace, where the queen would no doubt dig her claws into me even deeper.
For the first time since my promotion, I found myself dreading it.
“Fine,” I relented. “But if anything even feels off, I want to know immediately.”
“You’ll be the first to hear it.” Varik winked, and something about the gesture made my instincts prickle. I chucked it to my already rattled nerves.
The stablehand offered me a standard uniform cloak before I mounted Eira.
It wasn’t until he’d given it to me that I realized how much the temperature had dropped.
I’d been so hyper-focused on leaving that maze, I’d forgotten I’d left my cloak behind.
I had no desire to go back in there, chancing another encounter with Jack.
At least not tonight. I’d experienced enough emotions today to last me until next solstice.
Taking a breath, I steadied myself, gripped the pommel of the saddle, and hauled myself up. “Keep your eyes open, Lieutenant.”
“Always do, Captain,” he murmured, watching as I rode off into the night.
Despite the heavy fabric, the cloak did little to drive away the stinging cold that had seeped into my bones, but I doubted even the fires of Tharnwyn’s Mount Bal deep in the Stone Court could calm the tremors.
Eira dashed out of the front gates, galloping like lightning through the blistering night, the frozen air cutting my face like tiny razors.
But I didn’t care; the pain was a welcome reprieve compared to the scalding turmoil churning in my chest. I pulled on the reins, urging Eira to run faster. A part of me thought about exiting the city walls, to just keep riding until the road ended, but then what?
Maybe Jack didn’t know it, maybe I should’ve told him.
My heart had always belonged to him—would always belong to him.
But how would that have changed anything?
His heart had never belonged to me. And it would now belong to Princess Isolde Kaldvalíen of Tír na Sgáile, great-granddaughter of King Maelthar of Verrindor, ruler of the Unseelie Court.
Nothing would ever be the same.
Thankfully, seeing Varik had knocked at least an ounce of sense back into me.
I still had a duty to uphold: to my realm, to my people…
to my family. Regardless of why the queen had promoted me, I still wore the emblem.
I was still captain of the royal fucking guard, and I would be damned if I wouldn’t die defending my kingdom from any threat.
Tonight, I would drown my sorrows in ale, but tomorrow, I would pick up the shattered pieces of my heart, put on my uniform, and face whatever challenges awaited me with my head held high. Because that was what warriors did. They endured.
But even as I steeled my resolve, my grip tightening around the reins, I couldn’t shake the gnawing hollowness inside me, the aching void that had once been filled by Jack’s presence, his friendship, his unspoken promises.
The weight of it pressed against my ribs, threatening to break me apart like the fragile branches of a decaying tree.
But Jack had chosen his path. And now I had no choice but to walk mine. Alone.