Chapter 13 #2
And that was when I broke.
The pain I’d held back cracked open like a dam, and grief poured through the fracture. I sank to the rug, curled in on myself, and let the tears fall.
I didn’t weep like a court lady; I didn’t shed silent tears like a soldier.
I broke.
Because everything I’d built, everything I’d fought for, had been taken in a blink. And the worst part was, I couldn’t even say why it felt like I’d lost something more—some deeper part of me, my essence. Like that, too, was disintegrating before my eyes.
Something inside me was changing.
I could feel it gnawing at my gut.
But what?
It was sometime later, just as the fire in the hearth had softened to a low, golden glow, that a hard knock split through the quiet.
I stood, brushing the last traces of grief from my cheeks. “Who is it?”
“Ravin,” came the muffled reply.
I turned the latch and pulled open the door, only to find not just Ravin, draped in shadows, his eyes darkened to an almost brassy color, a glint of mischief swirling in their depths, but my brother, too, covered in a gray wool cloak, his face half-buried in his collar.
Before I could speak, he surged forward and wrapped his arms around me.
I sank into the embrace. Gods, it felt good to be in his arms. He felt and smelled so much like our father it made my throat burn.
“Winter’s grace, Sylvi,” Aldric murmured into my hair. “From the rumors, I thought I’d find you clinging to life in the infirmary.”
I pulled back just enough to look at him, my lips curling faintly. “This Isenwulf won’t fall that easily.”
“Hate to break up the warm and fuzzy reunion,” Ravin drawled, lounging against the doorframe, “but we don’t have much time. Your mother and sister have been brought into the palace under crown protection. Your brother’s expected to join them before the queen’s address.”
“The queen offered them protection?”
Ravin shook his head. “Jack did.”
Aldric scoffed. “I don’t care to hear a word from that snake’s cold lips.”
“Brother, please,” I urged.
Ravin lifted both palms. “I’ll give you two some privacy. I bribed the guards to take a smoke break, but it won’t last long.”
As the door closed behind him, I pulled Aldric into another embrace, clinging tighter this time.
He returned it, but soon eased back, his hands gripping my arms. “What the Hel happened, Syl? Last I saw, you were dancing with Leoric. Next thing I know, you’re bleeding out in an alley in the Warrens, and Jack’s murdered four people.”
“I saw you leave The Stag with three others, heading for the city gates. I wanted to know what you were up to.”
His face tightened. “That was reckless.”
“No more reckless than you sneaking off into the Warrens, too—unless you’re involved in something you shouldn’t be.”
He turned away, pacing. “Look, I came to make sure you were all right. That’s it. To calm Mother down. She’s been worried sick. You look fine, so I can go.”
“No, you don’t get to end the conversation here. I need to know, Aldric. Are you with the dissenters? The males who attacked me came from the same area I followed you to.”
“Are you accusing me of being associated with them?”
“All I’m asking for is the truth.”
He stared hard at the hearth, shoulders rigid.
“The truth? Gods, Sylvi, you wouldn’t recognize it if it bit you in the ass.
You’ve spent your whole life chasing Father’s shadows, climbing ranks to impress a dead man.
All you wanted was a title, a badge, a place in this palace closer to your precious prince. Well, congratulations, you got it.”
My hands clenched at my sides. “You think I endured years of ridicule, of blood and bruises, and being told I didn’t belong, for a title?
I did it not just to honor our father; I did it because I believe in this realm, in our people.
All I want is to serve Skadgard.” My voice caught.
“But it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m no longer the captain of the guard, if that makes you happy. ”
His head jerked up. “What? Why?"
“The queen stripped me of my rank. Said I was reckless. Gave my badge to Varik. She’s not wrong; I violated protocol.”
Aldric ran a hand through his hair. “Then why did you follow me, Syl? Why risk everything for me?”
“Because you matter more to me than protocol, Aldric. The queen suspects you, and I needed to see it for myself. To know you weren’t dealing with those people.”
His expression shuttered. “And? What did you find?”
“You tell me. Who is the Iron Crow?”
His lips pressed into a thin line. “I have to go.”
I grabbed his arm. “Don’t walk away from me.”
He yanked his arm free. “You’re flying too close to the sun, Sylvi. Keep going and you’ll burn.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That an awakening is coming, sister, and no one can stop it: not you, not the queen. It’s best if you just stay out of my way.”
My chest sank and fear wrapped a tight coil around my spine. Was my own brother a dissenter? Had the queen’s suspicions been right? This wasn’t good. “Promise me whatever you’re involved in ends now. I don’t care about myself, but you’re risking Mother and Lyra.”
“You’re the one who brought them into the viper’s nest, not me.”