Chapter 34 #3
Something in him shattered at my words. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, a mirror of my own pain. But I just didn’t have the strength to endure any more rejections. This time, I needed the distance. Even if it was miniscule. Even if it was purely symbolic.
Even if it didn’t really protect me from the pain of losing him.
And as if the weight of his crown had finally crushed him, he sank to his knees before me, hands clenched on his thighs, fists tight, knuckles white. “I know I failed you, Syl,” he said hoarsely. “I know I hurt you in ways I don’t even know can ever be remedied.”
He swallowed hard, his throat working as he fought the crack in his voice.
“And it’s eating at my soul. Every hour of every day.
To know that I caused this. That whatever just happened in that fucking tent—the humiliation you suffered—I…
” His breath hitched. “I did that to you. To the one person that matters the most to me.”
A weight pressed against my chest as I fought from shedding more tears.
“All of this mess,” he went on at the verge of breaking. “All this fucking bullshit—it’s my fault, Sylvi. Every piece of it.” His head bowed, shoulders trembling. “And I am so sorry. So godsdamned fucking sorry.”
The dagger wavered in my hand.
“I should have fought harder against my mother. I should have unleashed hoarfrost upon my court before I ever let her strip you of your title. I should have protected your family—shielded them better, sooner. I saw the danger. I knew it was coming, and I still didn’t do enough.”
“Jack…”
“I don’t know what else to do, Syl,” he rasped, hands curling tighter into fists. “I’m fucking falling apart. I don’t know how to patch the cracks. I feel like I’m trying to hold together the broken pieces of our friendship with frayed threads that just keep slipping through my fingers…”
His breath shuddered.
I held mine.
“I should have shielded you from having to watch me pretend to be something I’m not.
From seeing me parade Isolde before our soldiers as if she could ever mean more to me than you.
I should have protected you from her cruelty—from her magic.
” His jaw locked. “Instead, I let my selfishness, my hunger for you, put a target on your back.”
I shook, my heart aching like it was splitting open.
“That humiliation tonight,” he gritted, “—gods, the way she stripped you bare, it’s unforgivable. And I take full responsibility for it.”
Silence pressed in around us as his words etched themselves onto my very spirit, unraveling my anger one fiber at a time.
“And the scent mark I left on your skin…” His voice trembled as he lowered his chin, shame written into every line of his posture. “It was more than reckless. It was selfish. I was consumed by you and didn’t think past my own desire.”
His gaze lifted to mine, eyes burning with blue fire. “I need you to know that I would tear my magic from my bones if it meant undoing the pain that caused. I would destroy myself for that chance. Please, you need to believe me.”
I stared down at him, my vision blurring, my pulse pounding in my ears.
“I know I’m the villain in your story now, elskan,” he said quietly. “After how I’ve treated you. The coldness. The way I pushed you away when deep inside all I wanted was to pull you into my arms… I can’t claim to be anything else.”
Tremors ran the length of my spine as I fought from collapsing to my own knees.
“But if there is anything I can do to fix this,” he continued, voice raw, eyes pleading with mine without pride, “you need only ask. I would lay the world at your feet, Sylvi. My crown. My kingdom. My life.” He lowered his head, but I still caught the tear that slipped down his cheek as the last word left his mouth.
The only sound was that of my breath shaking.
Finally, I let the dagger slip from my grip and it hit the forest floor with a dull thud. Stepping closer, I tipped his chin up with my fingers. “On your feet, Son of Ice,” I said, my voice like vapor.
He rose slowly until he towered over me, breath unsteady, eyes blazing.
“The only thing I need in this world…” I whispered, matching the intensity of his gaze, that tether between us thrumming violently, “is you.”
He leaned his forehead against mine, brushing his knuckles over my cheek, so tenderly soft I almost crumbled. “Not being able to touch you these last few nights has cut me like thousands of razor blades against my skin.”
“We can’t keep doing this, Jack. Torturing each other with all the things we want and can’t have.”
He brushed his hot lips over mine, every fleeting touch sending searing heat down my abdomen, straight to my molten core.
“There’s no escaping this anymore. Every night I can’t have you, I die a new death.
I’m done struggling just to breathe. I need you, Sylvi.
And not just as my friend. I want you as my lover. My partner. My equal.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. He was saying all the right things, but why did this fire inside us—this love—still feel like it would topple our world if we ever let it fully burn?
“If I can’t share my throne with you,” he went on, his voice breaking with conviction, “then I don’t want to be the prince of Skadgard anymore. I’d rather never be king.”
I didn’t have time to process a single word before he crashed his lips against mine like his soul might evaporate if he didn’t taste me.
The kiss wasn’t sweet.
It wasn’t soft.
It was war.
I shoved him hard against the tree and kissed him like I needed it to breathe. A part of me braced for him to stop, to pull away, to rethink, to find some cursed reason to deny us again.
He didn’t. Jack only kissed me back harder. Hungrier.
This was it then.
The moment we stopped pretending.
The moment we said fuck it and let the world burn if it had to.
His hands tangled in my hair, slid down my back, gripped my body like my warmth was the only thing keeping him alive.
Then he spun us, pressing my back to the tree, his body an overwhelming wall of heat and muscle beneath my palms, his mouth demanding, breath ragged.
A growl vibrated in his throat, raw and possessive, our teeth clashing and tongues colliding in a frenzy that tasted of vengeance and surrender. My fingers fisted in his tunic.
He cupped my face with both hands, thumbs sweeping my jaw like I was a relic gifted to him by the gods. He pulled back just enough to speak, his eyes glowing silver, kissed by fire and ice. “Look at what you do to me, elskan. I’m a fucking slave to your kiss.”
I gasped when his thigh slipped between mine, pressing right where ache had turned to agony.
My body sang with need as his lips began to trail fire down the curve of my neck.
He inhaled deeply, growling like a predator scenting blood.
“I know I don’t deserve you, Syl, but fuck…
I’d trade my life for just one taste of your skin,” he rasped, kissing my collarbone, biting just hard enough to make me moan.
His hand rose to my chest, cupping one of my breasts through the velvet. My nipple stiffened beneath his thumb, and he groaned like the sensation touched some wild place inside him. Gently rolling my gown off my shoulders, he exposed me.
“Gods, yes...” I hissed softly.
His breath was hot against my skin as he lowered his lips to my chest and he began swirling his tongue over each nipple, suckling, biting. He was a famished male who couldn’t get enough of my body, and I was more than desperate to give it to him.
Every. Inch. Of. Me.
But not just my body. I was giving him my soul. My forgiveness. Because this mess wasn’t all his fault. It was ours. And I would own every broken piece I’d shattered with my own pride, my own fears.
“I might die if I don’t have you tonight,” he breathed over my breasts.
A hand gripped my hip while the other climbed up my thigh, his touch a searing brand on my skin as he slid his hand under the lacy material of my intimate clothes, his fingers brushing the dampness between my legs.
“Blasted Hel, Syl. You’re soaked. So fucking wet for me already. ”
I bit back a cry as he circled his fingers over the tender nerves, slow, skillful. “Don’t hold back,” he murmured against my lips. “I’ve shielded us with my magic. No one can hear. Not the guards. Not even the gods. Just me. Only me.”
The forest seemed to bend around us, the wind falling still. I glanced past his shoulder, and the darkness had deepened unnaturally, thicker. Jack’s power coiled around us like a dreki curling close to protect its heart.
In this dark, magical cocoon, we were hidden. Swallowed by night.
“I want to hear every gasp you make. Every moan.” He slipped one finger inside me, then another, and I arched, clawing at the bark behind me. “Fuck. You’re so tight and hot.” He nipped at my earlobe, his voice breaking into a growl.
He pumped those fingers inside me, curling them just enough that he touched that sacred part of me that would not allow me to be able to hold on much longer.
My body trembled on the edge of release, but I wasn’t ready to give him that part of me.
Not yet. Tonight wasn’t just about purging our guilt.
Tonight, I wanted to be the one to own him. I wanted Jack completely under my control. I wanted him destroyed and begging me for more. I wanted to look into his eyes and see nothing but lust and need and devotion.
See his soul crumbling at my feet.
I pushed on his chest. “Wait,” I said, breathless.
He blinked, wild and confused. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh, no,” I crooned, brushing my lips over his.
“What you do with those fingers should be unlawful… But…” I dropped to my knees and onto the cold earth.
“Tonight. I want to taste you, Jack. And don’t you dare try to fucking stop me.
” I ran a hand up his length and he didn’t disappoint, already hard and eager under his trousers.