Chapter 12
Ididn’t think I would enjoy learning to fight, but it was actually fun. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. They were teaching me how to defend myself without magic and fight off someone bigger than me long enough to get away. I didn’t feel like a freak until Tollam opened his mouth. I felt mostly normal.
I was still trying to figure out what various smells meant because I hadn’t been around people before. I was pretty sure I knew what I was smelling when Leodos and Esylle were near each other. They loved each other, but for some reason, neither of them were doing anything about it.
Which wasn’t anything like the stories Belisarus told me with princesses in them. If the princess didn’t marry a prince, it was always the brave knight. Nestran didn’t have princes or knights, just a bunch of stinky Barons, but Esylle married for love once. I didn’t see why she couldn’t do it again.
I kept trying to bring them together for numerous reasons. Esylle was probably the only princess I’d ever meet. I knew the stories Belisarus told me were fiction, but I had an opportunity to watch one play out in a way. Esylle made me uncomfortable, but I did like her when she treated me like a normal person. I didn’t think she should have to marry someone she didn’t even like when Leodos was right there.
I smelled the Barons, and I’d been listening to Tollam for days. I knew what would happen to the tribes if the Tempris line ended with Eyslle. I didn’t really think there was any way I could be her missing child, but Belisarus would have that answer. If I wasn’t, I wasn’t suited to rule Nestran at all. I didn’t know why any of them couldn’t see that. I couldn’t rule an entire country when I’d barely been around people.
The soldiers were joking with me when they were teaching me to fight. I was pretty sure I knew what their smells meant, too. They didn’t have the same underlying mossy smell as Frog, but they felt the same about me as he did. I didn’t know what it was like to have siblings or even if I had any out there somewhere, but it felt like I gained four big brothers.
But something wasn’t right. My skin felt like it was crawling. My body needed to do something, but I didn’t know what it was because Belisarus didn’t teach me. It was painful and everyone smelled different now.
Tollam used to be the only one who smelled like he slept in goat shit. The rest of them didn’t smell like goat shit, but they just smelled wrong. Frog was my best friend and even he didn’t smell right. Leodos smelled like old books and the mahogany resin Belisarus sometimes burned.
Leodos was the only one who smelled half decent, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be closer to him and rub my scent on him, but that wasn’t right either because I didn’t know why I wanted him to smell like me. I also knew he shouldn’t because he and Esylle were in love. I also knew he wasn’t what I wanted, it was just the closest thing right now.
I had no idea what I was feeling other than I was miserable. Belisarus didn’t teach me what this was or a remedy I could make for it.
Maybe it was like a headache. It would eventually go away. I just needed to avoid everyone until it did.