Chapter 5 #2
“Any thoughts that may come up,” Sage spoke gently. “Let them flow. Don’t respond to them. Just let them pass like clouds.”
Portia allowed herself to witness her thoughts.
She so badly wanted to fight them, but trusted the sound of Sage’s voice.
Though the voices in her head were uncomfortable, she knew they couldn’t conquer her.
Visualizing each thought passing by like a cloud, she found a space of peace remaining consistent in her breathing pattern.
After five minutes of deep breathing and sitting with themselves, Sage guided Portia to come back into the awareness of her body to end the meditation.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel light,” Portia said with a soft smile. “I’ve never felt this before.”
“Yeah?” Sage said. “That’s peace. Anytime you want to find it, just know you have it within yourself.” Sage pointed to Portia’s heart.
Portia looked at Sage with awe as her eyes lit up. Sage was speaking life into her.
“You have everything you need within you. You just have to believe in yourself,” Sage continued. “You can always come back to this moment anytime you need a break from the world.”
“How do you know all of this?” Portia asked, doubtful of the things within her being everything she needs.
“From experience,” Sage said. “I know what it’s like to hurt. To grieve. To feel numb. To feel deep sadness. And to feel alone. But every time I come back to meditation, I find the peace I’ve been searching for–the peace within me. Every time… I come home to myself.”
Portia's heart filled with the thought of being able to experience this bliss anytime she needed it. No noisy thoughts. No desire to drink. No sadness. No deep-seated numbness. Just peace.
“Remember when you said the new version of you was delayed?” Sage reminded Portia. “It’s not because the new you is here now.”
Portia’s eyes grew misty. No one had ever spoken to her so delicately or had been so vulnerable with her. This moment shared with Sage allowed her to not only let down her walls, but also to feel safe. If she had felt safe at the gala, now she felt protected.
Sage looked into Portia's big brown eyes. She no longer saw her walls of protection; she saw her heart. Sage gently stroked the side of Portia’s cheek as she witnessed a tear roll down it.
“Don’t cry beautiful. Look how far you’ve come already,” Sage uttered.
Portia closed her eyes as more tears rolled down her face. “Thank you,” she whispered.
As each tear trickled down, Sage tenderly kissed them away.
Portia opened her eyes, a soft smile spreading across her face.
Sage gazed deeply into her eyes, planting kisses from Portia’s cheek to her forehead, then to her lips.
Their tongues danced with passion as Sage gently kissed away Portia's smile.
Something ignited between them—a longing they had both yearned for, now fulfilled.
Sage broke the kiss and grazed her thumb over Portia’s lips. Portia smiled. “That was nice.”
“Yeah?” Sage smirked.
Portia placed a finger over her lips, savoring the lingering passion. "Yeah." She nodded, feeling butterflies fluttering in her stomach.
“I hope I’m not coming on too strong.”
“Why would you say that?” Portia asked.
“I’m supposed to be protecting you. Not kissing you.”
“You are protecting me,” Portia said, reaching for Sage’s hand.
“Since you and Salem have been around, I’ve felt safer than I’ve felt in a while.
And, I haven’t heard from my ex in weeks.
I’m finally feeling free. In the beginning, I wasn’t down for the new rules my father set in place for me, but I’m becoming grateful because it has changed me for the better… and I met you.”
"Heavy on the I met you," Sage grinned, tilting up Portia’s chin with her hand. She gazed into her eyes, where suddenly she could see the entire universe reflected. How did we get here?
When Sage and Portia first met, neither of them had anticipated wanting to be there. However, as weeks passed, and they got to know each other better, gradually letting down their walls, they saw each other in a new light.
Sage found herself falling for Portia. Beyond her desire to protect and keep her safe, Sage was appreciating her soft and genuine heart.
Portia deserved the world, and Sage wanted to be the one to give it to her.
But the only pushback was her father. He would be disappointed to learn about Sage's feelings for Portia, not only because she was a vamp, but also because he was finally beginning to trust her. Given the opportunity to move up in the business and start doing groundwork, Sage couldn’t afford to jeopardize it.
She had a lot to think about, with so much at stake.
With that realization coming to mind, Sage frowned and lowered her gaze.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Sage said hesitantly.
“If what’s a good idea?” Portia was confused.
“This,” Sage said, motioning her finger between her and Portia. “I’m really feeling you, Portia. There’s something here between us.”
Portia’s cheeks grew warm. “I’m feeling you, too.”
“But..” Sage continued. “If we act on this, there’s so much that could go wrong. You know vamps and humans can barely exist in the same world, so how would this even work? Then, with my father and the cartel, I can’t risk it all. He’d be so pissed if…”
“Shhh…” Portia said, placing a finger over Sage’s lips. “We don’t have to figure things out right now. Let’s take it slow. Shit, I’m just now getting on my father’s good side, so I get it. The last thing I want him to do is find out I’m falling for the person he set to protect me.” Portia chuckled.
“Falling for me, huh?” Sage’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing Portia was falling for her. The feeling was definitely mutual and she couldn’t help but be more at ease. “You hittin’ on me again?”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Sage Washington,” Portia said, giggling. “Look, the feeling I have for you is undeniable. If we’re going to continue whatever this is, we have to be smart about it.”
Sage agreed.
"Take some time and think about what you want," Portia said, interlacing her fingers with Sage's. "There's so much on both our shoulders. We don't have to do this if it's too risky," Portia reassured her.
Yes, Portia was falling for Sage, but she dreaded jeopardizing her relationship with her father.
Amidst all the turmoil in her life, he was her anchor.
No matter how chaotic things became, he remained steadfast by her side.
She had endured significant losses in recent years, and he was the one constant presence.
Sure, she was a pain in his side, but he never gave up on her.
Since being with Shy, Portia had lost many friends and family behind their drama.
Sage was a new presence in her life, but was she worth potentially unraveling everything again?