Chapter Fourteen
Faye
Faye did exceptionally well throughout her entire guidance session not to puke. Between assuring the sweet elderly Beatriz that she was alright and taking breaks to gather herself in the toilet, she’d still left the counsellor’s office with the world swaying underneath her feet.
Diana was Molly’s mum.
What?!
It didn’t make any sense. Everything seemed…wrong. It didn’t add up. How could Molly and Diana be related? They were nothing alike.
The thoughts continued to rock side to side in her brain, following the motion of Riley’s buggy as they rounded each corner. Faye had been hoping to snag a trip to the wildlife centre, but now Riley had offered one, it didn’t feel like the right time.
Senhor Arenoso said the familiar guides helped navigate them on their path, but Faye figured this one might perplex even some of the most respected familiars.
What was she supposed to do in this situation?
Pretend it never happened? Her whole body wilted at the thought of last night never happening again.
It wasn’t as if she and Molly were anything serious.
Faye’s health issues and Molly’s reluctance to travel meant they’d only met up enough times to count on one hand.
Would it be so bad if she and Diana continued things?
Especially if it was only for these few weeks anyway?
Ugh. She just wanted to bury her head in the sand and wake up from this strange dream.
“You’re quiet,” Riley commented, giving her a sideways glance. “Everything alright?”
The seat vibrated underneath her as they drove over a pile of stones. “Just feeling a bit off.” She clung to the overhead grip to steady herself.
“Is it my driving?”
“Compared to Ella’s, this is like flying first class.”
Riley laughed as the path thinned out and the trees towered above them. “She does drive like she’s outrunning a zombie horde.”
The wind blew a few stray hairs from Faye’s ponytail, and they tickled her face. She turned back to the greenery, breathing in the fresh air. Her insides still warbled with every thought.
Diana.
Molly.
Stop it.
The jagged mountains in the distance rose up to kiss the blue sky. She closed her eyes, wishing she could magic herself to the top. Maybe the change in altitude would give her some clarity.
Poor Beatriz, Faye’s counsellor, had seemed confused by her reluctance to open up. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to; she just had no idea how to form her thoughts into words.
The older woman had shot Faye a curious look over her notepad. “Telling someone new about your ostomy is a big step. How did it make you feel?”
Faye folded her hands in her lap. At the time, telling Diana had been a relief.
Like stepping out into a cool, misty rain on a hot summer’s day.
It had almost felt as though she’d stressed over nothing, the way Diana had listened, how she hadn’t pulled away.
The calmness in her gaze. Her soft hand holding Faye’s, smoothing the ridges Faye had scratched into the skin.
“It felt good,” she told Beatriz, unable to look her in the eye.
“Each time should get a little easier and increase your confidence,” Beatriz had said. “Would you like to walk me through it?”
But remembering the moment now made her queasy. Diana would probably never look at her that way again.
She swallowed. “Sorry. I need to go to the bathroom.” Holding one hand over her bag, she dashed out of the room. She didn’t like to use her bag as an excuse, but she couldn’t say for sure if she could end the session without Beatriz ending up covered in her morning croissants.
Riley pulled the buggy to a stop, jarring her from the memory. “We have to walk from here, but it’s not far.”
Faye stepped out, unsteady on her feet, and grabbed her backpack from the back seat. The path they’d been following had narrowed into a thin trail disappearing into the forest. An earthy scent hit Faye as soon as they stepped among the trees.
“How was your session this morning?” Riley asked.
She stumbled over a thick root and righted herself. “It was fine.”
Riley sighed. “I know I’m the manager of the course.” She marked the word with her fingers, bumping Faye’s shoulder. “But I’m told I’m a good listener too. I know all this soul-searching can be a bit of a rollercoaster, but you’ve got the support around you to help make sense of it, okay?”
Faye swallowed the lump in her throat. She didn’t want to cry in front of Riley. But she was being too nice. “Thanks. It’s just been a lot today.”
Sunlight dappled through the leaves, casting zigzag shadows across the dirt.
Riley nodded, looping her fingers under the straps of her backpack. “If all you need is to be quiet and process, too, that’s fine. I don’t want to push you. I just want you to know you’re not alone. I know how that feels.”
The sincerity in her voice almost made Faye start weeping on the forest floor. It was strange for her to come to trust people in such a short space of time, but the kindness Riley showed her seemed to just flow from her in waves.
Luckily, a wooden structure came into view, and Riley turned into a tour guide.
“It doesn’t look much,” she said, “but over the last year we’ve rehabilitated over a hundred birds and returned them to the wild.”
“That’s impressive.”
Which was more than could be said about the tiny centre itself.
Inside, the cramped space felt even smaller.
Caged enclosures sunk into the walls from floor to ceiling, with a desk in the middle of the room piled high with feeding equipment, papers, and empty boxes.
A small woman appeared from a back room, wearing a stained yellow top and a blue apron tied around her middle.
Her wide customer-service smile relaxed into a real one when she spotted Riley at the door.
“Ah, am I ever happy to see you.” She pulled her black hair loose from its messy ponytail and retied it, looking exactly as dishevelled as before.
“Ana couldn’t make it today, and there are lots of little mouths that need feeding. ”
“I’m here to help.”
“Me too,” Faye added. Maybe keeping herself busy and being around animals would be the perfect solution for her spiralling thoughts.
“You don’t have to do that, Faye,” Riley said, though judging from the other woman’s scowl, she didn’t seem to agree.
“I want to.” Faye smiled, meaning it for the first time all day.
They set to work. Faye cleaned the cages and bowls, refilling the water, while Riley and Catarina started the feeds, scattering seeds and nuts, and then handfeeding the few hatchlings.
She quickly fell into the routine of being back at work, and an ease fell over her, her thoughts and worries drifting to the back of her mind.
She liked taking care of things. It filled her with purpose.
That was why she’d wanted to be an ecologist in the first place.
To try to make a difference somewhere. Seeing the little bullfinches and parakeets, some with bandages and splints, others missing feathers or carrying grazes and cuts, peering at her with their little curious eyes, caused that feeling to flare again.
After they’d made their way through the patients, they took a seat in the small staff room, where a fridge hummed in the corner next to an espresso machine.
It wasn’t until Riley and Catarina were elbow deep in various bits of paper that Catarina jumped up to make coffee. She offered Faye one, but she declined. She’d only just stopped feeling jittery from the day’s events. Best not to add caffeine into the mix.
“Sorry to throw you in the deep end, Faye,” Riley said as she pushed a stack of papers to one side. “This was supposed to be a tour and not a work shift.”
“I don’t mind. I enjoy it.”
“That’s a relief,” she said with a grin. “Last thing we need is to be slapped with a forced-labour claim.”
Catarina’s eyes widened, hair messed like she’d been dragged through the forest from the back of Ella’s buggy.
“I’m joking,” Riley assured her.
“My heart can’t take it.” Catarina filled two cups with the hot brown liquid and passed one to Riley. “We’re one slip away from going under.”
“I’m working on it.”
“And we’ve had even more admissions this month.”
Riley frowned, glancing at the stack of papers before returning her focus to Faye. “Anyway, would you like to see how your parakeet is doing?”
“Absolutely.” She followed Riley out of the room, leaving Catarina huffing and puffing over the paperwork.
The noise from the lone fan spinning above them did little to detract from the sweet cacophony of cheeps coming from the cages.
“The centre is run by volunteers,” Riley explained, waving a hand over the mess organised into different piles.
“We’re trying to get some funding from the government, but at the moment, most of the income comes from donations and from Sandy Springs.
I’d love to get more people involved and educate them on what’s happening, but Senhor Arenoso says I shouldn’t have too many irons in the fire. ”
Faye noted the three empty cages at the bottom; the place was almost at full capacity. What would happen to the animals needing care when they were full?
Under her feet, the cheap linoleum was bubbling and curling at the corners, and its black shade was dotted with flakes of mint-green paint that had peeled from the walls.
Riley stopped in front of a door marked 26B. “Anyway, this is your little gal, right here.”
Faye peeked inside. The parakeet was resting in the corner, her little green chest rising and falling, her wing strapped to her side with a clean, white bandage. “Has she broken it?”
“Luckily not. The vet said it was just a sprain. With some rest, she should be back to normal in no time.”
Faye straightened up, noting the rows of other parakeets in similar conditions. “What’s going on here, Riley?”
Riley’s expression soured as she followed Faye’s gaze. “There’s been an uptick in admissions the last few months. Parakeets especially. Pink Polari ones even more so.”
“Poaching?”
“I’m worried that it’s getting worse. People want the next hot thing as pets. Pink Polaris’ colourful crowns seem to be it. But they don’t understand how damaging and cruel these poachers are to these birds.”
“Do you have CCTV?”
“Only at the main resort and the ports. Duarte monitors who comes to and from the island, but we don’t have a lot of control over private boats mooring out of sight. The locals are aware of it, but without help from the government, I’m not sure what to do.”
“Let me help.”
“I can’t ask you to do that. You’re a guest here.”
“It can be part of my rehabilitation. A trial run for getting other people involved.”
Riley smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes. “The course is all about you focusing on you, Faye. I’m not going to encourage any distractions from that.”
“This is part of what I do, Riley. Please, let me help.”
“I appreciate the offer. I really do, but I can’t accept it.”
The doorbell jingled, and a happy voice called out, “Did someone ask for a delivery?”
Carla and another man stood in the doorway, two heaped boxes in their arms. Carla grinned when she spotted Faye. “Ay! The dog’s bollocks. What are you doing here?”
Faye couldn’t help grinning back. “Just visiting. You?”
“Just delivering. People, supplies, food. I do it all.”
Catarina rushed in to collect the boxes, mumbling something under her breath which Faye couldn’t understand. The man gave her a kiss on the cheek and then followed her and Riley into the office, fast Portuguese flowing between them. Faye just caught “late” and “always”.
Some good that Duolingo was.
Carla waved a hand. “Catarina and Bruno are like an old married couple.” She laughed. “Actually, they are an old married couple. Don’t worry about them. So how are you?”
“I’m okay.” At least, she had been. The question pulled the rug from under her, and everything Molly and Diana came flooding back.
“Just okay, huh? I heard a little differently.”
“What? From who?”
Carla gave a playful shrug. “A…friend.”
Faye knew that look. “A friend named Raul?” What did he know? When Carla’s cheeks flushed pink, Faye nudged her. “Or is he more than just a friend?”
“I can’t kiss and tell here.” Carla nudged her back, waggling her eyebrows. “Come play poker with me, and I’ll tell you everything.”
“I’m not really the gambling type.”
“Mentiroso.” An alarm buzzed on Carla’s watch, and she switched it off. “Bruno, precisamos de ir agora. Come on!” She turned back to Faye and tapped her nose. “I can pick you up. It’ll be fun.”
“Maybe.” Faye didn’t know anything about poker, but she was still trying to say yes to things.
Bruno appeared, giving Faye a nod with his balding head.
“Maravilha. See you later, Dog’s Bollocks!” And then they were gone, the bell jingling behind them and a new course of energy swirling around Faye.
Though Dog’s Bollocks wasn’t a nickname she’d ever intended acquiring, somehow, she didn’t mind.
In fact, she needed to start living up to the nickname.
As she continued watching the door, the chatter of Riley and Catarina in the background, her mind started to clear.
She knew what she wanted, what she needed.
She wasn’t going to sit back and let the world pass her by.
She’d done her fair share of that already.
The situation with Molly and Diana wasn’t ideal, no. But what journey is plain sailing? She couldn’t stay on the dock for fear of rocking the boat.
Faye had to get on board and be her own captain.