Chapter Seventeen #2
She’d always been able to separate sex from relationships. If she hadn’t got the stress relief from somewhere with all her work pressures, she’d have imploded. But the encounters were routine. Emotionless. Controlled. One-night stands that Diana never thought about again.
But the woman in front of her was different.
There was something else there that Diana didn’t want to touch. An essence so bright and colourful, she feared what opening herself up to it might do. She needed to be in control. If she were in control, she would be fine. Keeping it close, closed, kept her safe.
But the essence still flickered regardless, unbothered by Diana’s fear.
Diana didn’t really know what to do with that. Whenever she thought about it too hard, it sparked a prickling feeling up her spine like she was being watched without her knowledge.
Because they both knew their arrangement was temporary. So why was she giving it all so much weight?
She focused on the kind, curious eyes searching her face. Her voice came out soft, embarrassingly so, and she tried not to grimace as the words left her lips. “I haven’t let anyone touch me for a long time.”
“Oh.” Faye loosened her grip on Diana’s dress. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so pushy.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t know.”
Faye traced a finger over the lace running over her abdomen. It was quiet for a moment. Then she asked, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
She could have. She’d had ample opportunity, and Faye had been so honest with her. But it was hard to explain when she didn’t know the answer herself.
“I’m not sure.” When Faye looked up at her, she forced herself to dig deeper.
“I keep to myself a lot of the time. It’s comfortable, and I don’t tend to spend time outside of my comfort zone.
As new as this is for you after your operation, I suppose, it’s also relatively new to me, too. Something I’m realising right now.”
The admission started her pulse racing, and she adjusted herself, taking a seat beside Faye. All her earlier confidence had been eaten away by fear. She wasn’t the pantsuit powerhouse people expected of her. Not really. Not anymore. Maybe she never had been.
But Faye cupped her hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it.
“Thanks for being open with me.” She held her hand in her lap, tracing delicately with her thumb.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to undress or receive from me.
The last thing I want is to make you feel uncomfortable after how at ease you’ve made me feel. ”
Was that what she wanted? No reciprocation? The slick heat still gathered between her thighs told her otherwise. The very idea of Faye touching her got her pulse quickening again, but for other reasons. It was just…frightening.
Most of Diana’s hook-ups were happy to take what she was offering and leave it at that.
It suited her fine. Faye wasn’t like that.
She was passionate and brave, wanting everything, wanting to dive in headfirst and deal with the repercussions later.
Some of that fearlessness Diana had lost somewhere after her divorce.
“I do enjoy that side of sex too,” Diana continued, meeting Faye’s gaze. “I just…”
“You want to take it slow,” Faye finished, her eyes brightening. “Oh! Riiiight. I totally get it now.”
“What?”
“That’s what your whole ‘taking it slow’ thing is about, right?”
Diana opened her mouth to protest, but her brain hijacked the words. She’d always thought of taking things slow as something she enjoyed, but maybe it was a way to protect herself. Interesting.
“Honestly?” She gave a small smile. “Maybe.”
“Well, just to be crystal clear. The ball’s in your court. Do whatever makes you comfortable. I’ll let you take the reins on that one.” She wet her lips. “As for me, well, I’ll tell you if anything hurts or whatever. But I’m here for all of it. Fast, slow, do whatever you want to me.”
Desire pulled low in Diana’s belly, awakening that burning hunger only satisfied by touch. Her attention fell to Faye’s cleavage, her abdomen, her open lingerie, revealing her pink and wet from their previous encounter.
“Fuck.” Faye’s voice stuck in her throat. “I love it when you look at me like that.”
Diana held her gaze a moment longer. Then she propped herself up, positioning herself over her. Faye opened her legs, welcoming it, and Diana bent to nip her lip.
“You better get used to it,” she murmured.
She kissed her hard, letting their bodies melt together. Faye ground her pelvis against her, just the thin material of Diana’s dress separating them, and hot jolts of electricity pulsed at the contact.
As they pulled back for breath, Faye combed her fingers through Diana’s hair, tight enough to tug at her scalp. Those deep blue eyes stunned her, touching something in her chest.
“I don’t think I ever will get used to it,” Faye said.
As Diana’s heart raced with a mix of conflicting emotions, she didn’t know if she ever would either.
So she did the only thing she knew. She kissed her again, and again, her fingers slipping into her with ease, slick, wet and still sensitive. There was nothing slow this time. No resistance. Diana kissed her hard. She fucked her harder. She wanted her spent and soaking and calling out her name.
She was tired of thinking and thinking and thinking. She let her body do all the talking. Silencing those voices in the back of her head. Ignoring the way her heart bloomed for the woman in front of her. She had it under control.
She had it all under control.