Chapter Nineteen #2
It wasn’t quite the jaw-shattering revelation Riley had perhaps expected of them.
But Diana wasn’t going to scold Molly for opting out of the soul search.
From the way she’d admired Diana’s work, and had chatted with the others in the class, her daughter did seem…
lighter. Ultimately, that’s what Diana had hoped this excursion would bring.
In comparison, Diana’s world was still spinning too fast, her quick pulse making her unsteady on her feet.
“Great work, ladies.” Riley appeared behind them, nodding as she studied their work. “Wonderful use of light and shadow, Molly. You’re a natural.”
Molly glowed.
What would “painting from the heart” mean to Faye? Would she find herself as surprised as Diana at what might emerge? Or would she not hesitate to show herself?
“This is very emotive, Diana.” She turned to find Riley studying her work. “I can feel it jumping from the page.”
Diana brushed her hands over her apron. “Thank you.”
Riley lingered a little longer, and she cringed, wondering what she saw. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, a quick knock sounded, and Ella appeared at the doorway, in a burst of energy.
“Hey, everyone! How was your class?” A black swimsuit hugged her curves, her lower half hidden by a pair of beige cargo shorts that were the mirror of Riley’s.
Riley left Diana’s side to greet her girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek.
“Now, who is up for some surfing?” Ella asked. “If I can ride a wave, there’s hope for everyone. Right, babe?”
Riley nodded. “It’s true.”
As a murmured discussion sprang up in the class, Molly huffed.
“Absolutely not,” she said. “The island water is poisonous. I should know.” She shot a glare across the room towards Quin, who quickly packed up their bag and rushed out.
“I wouldn’t recommend drinking saltwater anyway, love,” Diana said.
“I’d much rather sunbathe. What do you say?”
“You want me to join you?” She tried to hide the surprise in her voice.
“Why not? We might as well while we’re here, right?”
Warmth filled her chest. Though not the most direct invitation, it was progress. Maybe coming to Sandy Springs had been the right move after all.
Just disregard the Faye factor, and everything is fine.
They left their paintings to dry and followed the rest of the class, stepping out into the humid air.
“Where would you like to go?” Diana asked.
Molly looked out at the horizon. “We could go to the beach. Then we’d have five-star entertainment watching people failing to surf.”
The beach.
She’d already braved the sand this trip, walking along the shore with Faye, so why did the thought still make her stomach twist into knots?
She cursed inwardly. Her emotions had been much easier to control before she stepped onto this infuriating island. The topsy-turviness of it all was making her seasick.
But she wasn’t going to let this get in the way of her and Molly bonding, so she nodded. “Sounds wonderful, love.”
They walked along the pebbly steps, passing Senhor Arenoso meditating outside his hut. Molly happily filled in the silence with chatter about the class, and Diana tried to focus on the new ease that was growing between them, instead of the irrational fear creeping up her throat.
You have this under control.
But when sand crept onto the path, she stopped at the edge of the vast, sandy beach, her sandals sticking like glue. Molly continued walking, her curls bouncing. She paused, glancing behind her.
“Are you coming?” she called.
You have this under control.
“Mum.” Her voice was louder. Closer. But she couldn’t see. The darkness and the monster had merged into one, the painting becoming real. “Are you alright?”
A hand grasped hers, and she focused on her breathing, as Riley had guided them in yoga classes many times before. In…and out. After a few rounds, she opened her eyes, the brightness blinding her.
Molly squeezed her hand. Concern creased her brow.
Diana pulled in another deep breath. “I’m…fine. Come on.”
Molly tugged her forward. Her feet sank into the soft sand, and she breathed out shakily. If Molly thought she’d lost her marbles, she never commented, but kept leading them further towards the sea.
Molly picked a spot away from other beachgoers and set down her bag. Letting go of Diana’s hand, she pulled out her pink towel and laid it on the sand. She sat at one end, patting for Diana to take the other.
The crash of waves reached Diana’s ears, and she watched, hypnotised by the movement. How could the sea be so soothing and so terrifying at the same time?
“Mum,” Molly pressed. “What’s going on?”
Patience never was her daughter’s strong suit, but she supposed she’d made her wait long enough. She brushed the towel with her fingertips.
“I’ve never really spoken about your grandma much, have I?”
Molly’s nose wrinkled. “Granny Jane?”
Not that old crowbag, Diana wanted to say, blinking away the unwelcome image of Jason’s mum, the tight-lipped vulture. “No. Your other grandma. My mother.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Charlotte.”
“Charlotte?” Molly echoed. “I don’t think I ever knew Grandma’s name.”
That landed a blow to Diana’s chest. She’d been so afraid of her mother’s memory, she’d prevented Molly from ever knowing her. That stung.
She tensed her jaw, pushing the emotions back under the surface. “Yes. I’m sorry I’ve never really spoken about her. I…it’s painful for me.”
“Is that what your painting was about? But…I don’t understand.”
Diana could see the cogs turning in Molly’s head, trying to piece it together.
“The seaside used to be my happy place.” At Molly’s look of encouragement, she kept going.
“Every summer, we’d go to the beach, and they were some of the best summers of my life.
Mum and I would spend hours combing the shores for pretty shells and stones to decorate our sandcastles.
” She breathed deeply, letting the memories fill her.
The cold English sea beneath her feet, Sarge splashing them as the dog catapulted through the waves.
Her mother’s laughter as she tipped her head back, tugging Diana after the giant furball.
“Come on, Di. First one to catch him gets an ice cream!”
“When she died, everything changed.” She blinked back the tears that threatened.
“We never went to the beach again. At first, I was so upset. It was something we’d always looked forward to every year, but now…
well, I’m glad. It’s one of the few places my dad didn’t taint with bad memories.
But in a way, that makes it harder too. I miss her. ”
Her voice broke on the last word, and a treacherous tear slipped down her cheek. Her chest ached, the crater she’d kept covered for years hissing and spilling out hurt into every fibre of her being.
“I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if she hadn’t died. If I’d have been a better person or a better mother. I tried my best, Molly. I know that might not always have been good enough. I—”
“Mum,” Molly said forcefully. “You are good enough.”
The words hung in the air for a moment, silencing Diana’s racing thoughts. She drew in a few shaky breaths. In…and out.
Molly rested her hands on the sand. “I had no idea you felt like this. You’re always so…put together.”
A bark of laughter left Diana’s lips. “I can assure you, I’m not. My time here has been particularly testing.”
“I like this side of you. Tell me about it.”
Had she said too much? Diana shifted position. She could hardly mention the knots Faye had her tangled up in. The fear and excitement that being around her brought. But having this conversation with Molly was therapeutic. Sorry, Marco Marcos.
“It seems I haven’t fully grieved my mother,” she admitted. “And your grandad and I haven’t spoken in a long time.”
“What? Why?”
Diana sighed, looking out to the sea. The surfing class were gathered by the shallows, each figure carrying a board by their sides.
“Our relationship is complicated. There are a lot of things that have gone unsaid throughout the years. I understand he was also grieving when my mother died, but I was only ten and…”
The slamming of the photo album rang in her ears. “We have to move on now. This is for your own good.”
She shook the sound away. “I wish I could show you some pictures of her.”
Molly smiled. “I’d like that.” At the conflicted expression on Diana’s face, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know where they are. Grandad hid them from me.”
“He did what?” The anger in her daughter’s tone jolted her. “Mum. He can’t do that. That’s not fair.” She grabbed Diana’s hand. “I’ll go get them. I’m sure we can find them together.”
The determination in her eyes reminded Diana of a younger version of herself. The comparison warmed her, but then she admitted what she’d been afraid to voice. “I’m not sure they’ll still be there, love.”
“He can’t throw them away. He can’t do that. They must be there somewhere.” Molly huffed. “We’ll turn that house upside down if we have to.”
A joyful holler echoed across the beach, and they turned their heads. Ella and Riley had each caught a wave, spray flicking up behind their boards. The others looked on as they slid onto the shore, their expressions a mixture of eager and fearful as the demonstration turned into their own practice.
Diana was thankful to be on this side of the beach.
They watched in peaceful quiet as the group swam out on their boards.
Molly laughed as a woman rose to her knees and immediately plopped into the sea with a splash. “It was a good idea. Coming here.” She kept her gaze on the scene at sea, but her voice softened. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Actually…I’ve been thinking about possibly moving abroad. I feel much happier in the sun.”
Diana’s mum-mode activated. What would Molly do for work?
What about finishing university? How would she afford it?
She forced herself to relax. Maybe Molly’s painting had more depth than she realised.
She shouldn’t be so quick to judge. “I think you should do whatever you think would make you happy.”
She felt Molly’s gaze on her. “Okay. What has happened to you? No talk of me completing my studies and getting a degree? Have you been poisoned too?”
“What?”
“You’re different here. More fun. Less uptight.”
“Excuse me?”
Molly shrugged. “I’m just saying. The island life looks pretty good on you, too, Mum.”
Unsure how to respond, she just smiled, and they relaxed into watching the surfers. A weight in Diana’s chest lifted. Sitting on the sand like this, she couldn’t help but think Charlotte would be proud.
But what would she think of Faye?
As the swirling blue waves morphed into those enchanting irises once more, she hoped the monster from her imagination would stay just that.
But as they sat under the sunshine, conversation flowing freely, she knew there was an unsuspecting tsunami lurking that was powerful enough to sweep it all away.