Chapter Twenty-Four #2
Never saying goodbye to you hurt. But it was more than just that moment.
It was saying goodbye to everything you would never get to see.
My life. My children. Saying goodbye to things I’d never know and never get to ask you.
I was too young to really understand the finality of it all, the way it would stretch and touch everything.
I’ve made mistakes, Mum. How am I supposed to know if you’re proud of me?
I tried my best, but I just want to know. Are you proud?
There were only a few people left. The heat of the fire intensified with every step, along with the weight in her feet.
In front of her, Faye pushed her hair over her shoulders. She stole a glance at Diana. Just the small smile—the flicker of a moment—reassured her, and she breathed in.
What was Faye thinking? What was she wanting to leave behind?
Faye plucked a green bundle from the basket and held it to her chest. After a few seconds, she tossed it into the flames and threw up her arms in celebration.
The flames danced, smoke spiralling upwards into the darkened sky. The next person added their offering, and Diana squeezed Molly’s hand as she stepped up. A flower was incinerated, another round of applause, and then it was Diana’s turn.
Hundreds of eyes were fixed on her, but the letter in her hand held her focus. The fire warmed her face as she plucked a blue flower from the basket—her mum’s favourite colour—and placed it on the envelope.
I don’t know how to end this. Much as how I didn’t know how to start. I don’t suppose there’s ever a good way to say goodbye to someone you love, is there? One thing I do know is I’ll do better. I’ll talk about you. I want Molly to know who her grandma was.
She looked into the flames, alive and bright, and she knew it was time. Time to let go, to move forward, to say goodbye. She tossed the envelope into the flames, the paper blackening instantly. The roar of the crowd was deafening.
Goodbye, Mum. Thank you for everything.
The knot in her chest loosened, tension leaving her body.
The words, along with the letter, had crumpled into ash, spiralling into the sky like snowflakes.
She watched them dance in the darkness, flickering orange and slowly fading away.
People she didn’t know congratulated her as she passed, as well as familiar people from the course, and Ella gave her an enthusiastic hug.
Diana’s gaze lingered on Faye for a fraction too long, but she couldn’t help it.
Her bones were lighter, her muscles relaxed. She was…free. Freer, at least. She couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t felt life’s pressures tugging at her ankles.
She slid in next to Molly and tapped her knee. “You okay, love?”
Molly beamed back. “It feels like we’re supposed to be here, doesn’t it?”
Surrounded by the warmth of the fire and friendly faces, the light feeling flowing through her veins, Diana could only agree. You’re meant to be here.
She’d repaired her relationship with Molly, figured out some home truths, and learned a lot about herself.
Not everything was crystal clear, of course, but as the group gathered together to watch the flames spitting and sparking, Diana let herself embrace the feeling, hoping that it would last longer than the wood took to burn.
Once the burning steadied, Senhor Arenoso stood again, ready to award the group with their spirit familiars.
He placed his hand on his chest. “When we slow life down and take a moment to reconnect with nature, amazing things happen. When we start to listen, start to feel, we discover parts of ourselves that were always there, hidden by the shadows. Our guides are not new to us. They’re shut off from our hearts, disconnected from our true selves.
When we tune into their energy and nurture that relationship, that bond is strengthened.
Our guides are part of us. Embrace that, and we accept and love who we are.
With that acceptance comes peace. With that, comes love.
” He smiled, his face lit by the flickering flames. “We are all connected. Everything.”
The words resonated with Diana. She’d spent so long keeping people at a distance, the idea that she’d also shut off part of herself from the world didn’t surprise her.
Her gaze fell on the glowing embers, and she breathed in the scent of the herbs and spices from the offerings. But then, Senhor Arenoso called her name. After a small push from Molly, she rose to join him, the warmth of the fire heating her as she passed.
“Palm up, please,” he said.
She did as he asked, and his knowing gaze lingered, the owl headpiece towering above her, feathers spread wide.
“Diana,” he began, his voice carrying throughout the courtyard.
“Ambitious, dominant, independent. Strong and powerful qualities that can often steal the spotlight from some of your other, softer qualities. Remember, there’s also strength in weakness and in trusting our gentle side.
Don’t smother that side in fear. She needs sunlight and space to grow.
” He touched her palm and closed his eyes, releasing a deep sigh.
“Your guide has come to me. In all their light and mightiness.” He produced a wooden totem, which he hung over Diana’s head.
Then he grinned, his dark eyes sparkling. “The dove.”
She looked down at the wooden carving, with its intricately carved feathers.
“Doves are often celebrated as symbols of peace, which is true, but their significance goes deeper. The dove is a call to renew, to cleanse and elevate, to break free from life’s constraints.
It’s a beacon of gentle courage, encouraging calmness and harmony through love.
With her pure white feathers and deep, caring nature, the dove is hope. ”
A loud round of applause erupted on all sides.
Diana turned to face the cheering crowd.
Molly beamed back at her, bringing her fingers to her mouth to whistle.
Diana lifted her hand in thanks as the feeling surrounded her—lightness, excitement, a tingle that spread from the base of her neck to the tips of her toes.
When her attention fell on one woman in the crowd, the feeling surged, glowing and fluttering its wings.
* * *
After the last totem had been awarded, the staff moved the seating logs to one side, and the celebrations kicked up a notch.
The band jumped into a lively acoustic set, encouraging everyone to dance and clap their hands.
Ella and Riley led by example, twirling and spinning each other in circles, Ella’s dress fanning around her as Riley guided her through the steps.
Despite the night’s contagious energy, Diana kept to the edges, tapping her feet to the beat and watching the dancers, lit by the glow of the torches.
Molly and Quin copied the accordion player’s fast steps, tripping up in the process and laughing harder and harder.
Diana’s gaze landed on Faye. She was twirling with one of her dads, David, who’d flown out to celebrate.
He moved with all the grace of a clumsy chicken in chinos.
Diana wanted to take it all in. The way the air buzzed with electricity and lingering smoke, the way laughter carried above the music, radiating pure joy.
Above the canopies of flowers, stars sprinkled the indigo sky like fireflies.
Beyond the cliffs, blanketed by darkness, she knew the sea continued to rock against the shoreline, forever changing, forever moving, but a constant all the same.
She thumbed the totem on her necklace. The dove. She’d never associate an animal so gentle with herself. It was a strange feeling. Like belonging—but also not. Something out of reach but eerily close. For a moment, she wondered if her familiar had any connection to her mum.
When a body bumped against hers, she turned.
“Don’t look so disappointed,” Ella teased, before she could mask her expression.
Diana leaned back against the wall. “Are you here to set me up again?”
Ella’s gaze passed over the courtyard, where Faye was trying to teach her dad how to vogue. “It didn’t work out too badly last time, did it?”
Diana shook her head. “Do I even want to ask how you know about that?”
“We have CCTV.” Diana’s mouth fell open, but before she could reply, Ella nudged her again. “Kidding. I mean, we do have CCTV. But not like that.”
Diana breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re a menace. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“A few times.” She gave her a small smile. “Do you want to know the truth?”
“Yes.”
Ella eyed her, like she was assessing the validity behind her statement. “I can feel it. Some energies leave traces. Powerful ones. Like Hansel and Gretel but less lame and more epic.” She waved her hand in Faye’s direction. “You two are pumping out enough energy to make even Saint Valentine sick.”
Diana bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes finding Faye across the room again.
“You feel it, though, don’t you?” Ella pressed. “The way your bodies search for each other?”
Faye glanced their way, joy lighting her face, and something in Diana’s chest squeezed. She didn’t need to say anything. Judging by the knowing look in Ella’s expression, she already knew.
Just like Diana did.
“You haven’t got long,” Ella said. Then she winked and skipped off towards the band. She whispered something in the singer’s ear, they both grinned, and he brought the song to a close.
“Now for a group dance,” he called, clapping his hands together. “Just follow me. Everybody!”
Ella shot her a glance from across the courtyard, and Diana sighed. Whatever the woman was up to, she decided to play along. If she were to listen to the calling of her guide, she needed to push past life’s restraints, and that included not waiting on the edge of the dance floor.
“Everybody, clap your hands.” The man demonstrated over his head, stomping his big black boots. “Now spin the person on your left.”