CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Holding my daughter in my arms again, after all the heartache of the years in between, was a feeling I knew I would never forget.
We walked over to the café, arm in arm, and Ellie welcomed us and brought us tea and cake. But as we sat at a table in the window talking, the tea was sipped while the cake lay untouched. I was feeling far too emotional to eat as I listened eagerly to Polly recounting the happy milestones that had happened in her life. I hung on her every word, my heart full to bursting, wanting to know every little detail.
But at last she laughed and took my hand across the table and said wasn’t it time that I told her about my life!
That’s when I told her about her biological father and even though I tried my best not to, I started to cry. Polly came over and hugged me tightly, right there in the middle of the café, not caring that people were watching.
Eventually, we parted – but it was with the promise of meeting again the following day. I was eager to see her work so she was going to take me back to the gallery to show me her paintings on display.
After she left, I sat there for a while, smiling at nothing in particular out of the window, thinking how Polly had taken after both of us – Joel and me – loving art as she did.
I said goodbye to Ellie, and a look of happy understanding passed between us, no words needed. And as I drove home, I felt complete for the first time in forever. I had my daughter back in my life. It was nothing short of a miracle.
But as I let myself into the house, a shadow fell over my joy.
The last thing Polly had said to me before we went our separate ways was, ‘I need to meet my biological dad now. He needs to know about me.’ She’d looked at me with such hope in her eyes. So I smiled and said that yes, I would find him.
But the last time I’d seen Joel, a few weeks ago, it had been completely out of the blue, and it had been like we were strangers. There had been no sign on his part that he wanted to renew our friendship. So I’d walked away, determined to forget about him.
That was easier said than done, of course. And now, with Polly back in my life, I was going to have to put my own feelings of heartbreak aside and risk rejection to find him again.
After all this time, he was going to find out about a daughter he never knew he had.
I had no idea if he would welcome the news, although recalling his kindness, I knew he would never reject an innocent child. His reaction to me, however, could be altogether different – especially after everything I’d likely put him through in not answering his heartfelt letter all those years ago.
I’d followed the path Joel’s life had taken, greedily soaking up the snippets I’d found out about him online. And after bumping into Claire that time outside the supermarket, I knew that apart from a brief time in Somerset, they’d been living in the Guildford area all these years.
I had an idea how I might track him down. I needed to go back to the gallery.
The thought of telling him about Polly was filling me with dread, though. There was a chance he’d despise me for not telling him I was pregnant with his child all those years ago.
Second to giving my baby away, this really was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever had to do . . .