Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
BLAKLEY
Dear Diary,
Sometimes you just have to break things before they break you.
“I’m so glad that you’re here with us,” Emily exclaimed as she wrapped her arm around my waist. I did the same, and we leaned our heads together, waiting for the others to arrive.
“It’s been a hot minute since we’ve been able to just take a night off and have girl time,” I answered.
In fact, I wasn’t sure all of us had been together for a girls’ night since before their father had passed. It had been a few months, and I knew they were all breathing in their own ways but having this moment just to relax felt wonderful. So much had happened since that night. And not just with our promotions. There were different relationships, so many secrets revealed, and new jobs. And not just for me.
Isabella came forward, her gaze on her phone, and I scowled at her.
“You better not be working,” I teased.
She looked up at me, eyes wide. “Of course not. It’s kind of bizarre that I get weekends off to be honest.”
“It’s because you’re working with a company that actually supports you,” Sophia replied as she came forward, Phoebe at her side.
“I kind of hate the fact that they do run a smooth business,” Isabella said, as she crossed her eyes.
The door opened, and our last member of our group of six entered. Greer waved at us, looking a little nervous.
I didn’t blame her, because this was her first time with our girl group. However, as she was married to Ford, technically she was now their sister-in-law. Phoebe ran over to the other woman and hugged her tightly.
Greer smiled at all of us. “I’m sorry I’m late, I was delayed.” From the blush on her cheeks, I had a feeling we all knew exactly how she was delayed.
“I don’t really want to know more about Ford’s love life, sorry, but I’m not related to your other husband Noah,” Phoebe said, her voice filled with laughter.
Greer rolled her eyes. “Well, having two husbands does mean it takes forever to get out of the house.” She held up her hand. “And not just because of that ,” she said with a laugh .
Everybody joined in and we made our way to the front desk.
Tonight we were doing a smash room before we headed to dinner. It was something that none of us had done before, and I had a feeling that some people in our group had a little more rage than others, so tonight would be good for them.
“Your admin couldn’t come?” Sophia asked as she came to my side. Isabella and Emily went to the front desk, while we stood back. We were a larger group, and we didn’t want to be in the way.
I shook my head. “Garcia has a date tonight that she did not want to cancel.”
Sophia let out a content sigh. “I’m really glad that you’re making friends with people at work. I realize that work friends and real-life friends are a different connection, but it’s good that you have that support system.”
I looked at Sophia, at her bright eyes and blushing cheeks. She looked so damn happy. Of course, Sophia always looked as if she were going through a thousand emotions at once. She had been a talented dancer, and still was, and worked with children and young adults daily. But teaching others how to dance wasn’t what was making her eyes bright I didn’t think.
“I do have a good place to work, and I enjoy the people I work with. Much like Isabella seems to be doing, but I want to know why you can’t stop smiling,” I teased.
“Oh I want to know too,” Phoebe said as she came forward, Greer by her side.
“It’s nothing,” Sophia said, ducking her head .
I bumped her hip with mine. “So, things with Cale are going well.”
She blushed even harder. “Yes. He’s just so nice. I mean, he’s not perfect, none of us are, but he just does things that make me feel cherished. And he’s hot,” she blurted, and I burst out laughing.
I beamed. “As I’ve met him, I totally agree.”
Sophia hugged me tightly, her smile widening. “You know, I was going to ask how things were going with your man, because you can’t stop smiling, but then I realized he’s my brother, and I don’t know if I want to know all the details.”
I ducked my head, my teeth biting into my lip. “We’re just taking it slow. After all, it’s a little complicated.” I lifted my head, looking at each one of them. “For many reasons.”
“That just means we have more of a reason to kick his ass if he hurts you,” Isabella said, her voice prim and proper.
I rolled my eyes. “You really shouldn’t say that as we’re about to go and get a sledgehammer or something. Do we use sledgehammers?”
“They’re going to have all the instructions for us,” Isabella explained. “And I don’t know about you, I could really hit something right now.” I lifted a brow, and she shrugged. “Past resentment. Don’t worry, I don’t hate your boyfriend.”
Everybody laughed, and it was Greer who squeezed my elbow. I looked over at the other woman, and she smiled softly. “I really like Aston. ”
“You don’t have to say that just because I’m dating him. Though now that I think about it, you’ve known him longer than all of us.”
“I have and I would tell you the truth if I felt like there was something different about him. Or if I thought you weren’t a good fit.”
I smiled, feeling oddly at ease with that promise. “We’re just taking it slow. I mean, a lot has happened in the past few months.”
The other woman’s hip bumped me. “That’s an understatement, although you did get to see Cage Lake. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“I really want to see this infamous small town that happens to be branded with our name,” Emily said as we waited for the attendant to explain things.
“I really don’t know if it exists,” Isabella said, and I knew she was just teasing me. “I mean, maybe you Photoshopped all those lovely images of that mountain.”
“Yes, I spent all of my free time to add in random Cage landmarks just for you,” I said dryly.
“That sounds like something you would do,” Sophia added with a laugh.
The attendant came over, and the woman with bright purple hair styled in some form of Mohawk, two nose rings, and a full-sleeve tattoo smiled at us.
“Hello there, and welcome to Break It.”
“Thanks for having us,” Emily said, bouncing on her toes.
“Okay, you already went through the waivers before you came, so that’s going to handle the housekeeping beforehand. When we get into the room you can choose from baseball bats, sledgehammers, crowbars, and even more. You guys also added on a few items so in addition to your own personal crate of things to smash, we have a few special things for you. You’re allowed to throw things against the wall, stomp on them, crash them, do anything you’d like. Isabella here also sent over a playlist, so we’re going to fill the room with the music of your choice and have fun.”
I looked over Isabella and shook my head. “Really? You picked a playlist?”
“I can do music.”
“I helped,” Sophia whispered, and Isabella flipped us off.
Laughing, we headed over to the locker room, each of us pulling on coveralls, a face shield, gloves, boots, and loop earplugs so we could still hear the music and each other, but we’d be able to protect our hearing just a bit.
“You’ll have exclusive use of the room, and about an hour and a half just to smash to your heart’s content. Afterward we do have pizza and soft drinks, but I know you have dinner plans.”
“Pizza is always an answer though,” I added, feeling elated to be able to smash something.
“Okay, let’s go through a few more instructions, and then have at it.”
By the time we were ready, I was amped up. Metallica was already blaring through the room, and I bounced on my toes, the others looking as if they were just as wired.
While things seemed to be going well in my life, being able to get through all the resentment for the past year felt good.
Yes, I was falling in love with a man that made me smile, and put me first when we were together, but I didn’t know what would happen after this. I didn’t know who we would be together. Or, maybe I was always thinking too hard about what that meant. What we meant.
While I loved my job now and my team, I still hated the fact that every once in a while, I had to see news or paperwork over my former team. It just reminded me of every single thing that I had been put through and hadn’t even realized that I had been ignoring. I had lowered myself and my talents in order to fit in the box they had placed me, all because I had been too scared to take a chance. But now here I was, taking all the chances, and I had to hope that I wouldn’t break in the end.
Isabella took the crowbar first, as I picked up a baseball bat, and we each took our weapons, grinning at each other.
“Okay, let’s break things,” Emily said, sounding so much like a cheerleader, it was a little disconcerting.
So…we broke things.
The exhilaration of smashing random objects with other objects shouldn’t feel this good. But I felt like I was on that office movie where they were beating up a printer that annoyed them. In fact, I was enjoying beating up a piece of office equipment, just remembering the fact that my old printer never used to be able to connect to the network. No matter what I did, I swore the printer had it out for me.
Sophia and I took turns with a barrel, though I knew Sophia wasn’t really putting her all into it, she was there because we were there, and I didn’t mind. In fact, it only took about thirty minutes for me to realize we were just having fun laughing with each other, although Isabella kept hitting a little bit harder. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, even though I didn’t know exactly what was going on in my best friend’s heart right then. But she kept smashing things, kept hitting, and when she finally stopped, her shoulders heaving, we all looked at her.
She looked at us and shrugged. “I was just imagining my old office. I’m okay. Promise.”
I raised a brow, and then Isabella blinked away tears so quickly I nearly missed it. “And maybe I thought of Dad.”
Everybody was silent for a moment, as Emily let out a long breath.
“I thought I was the only one.”
“I don’t want to hit him, I just don’t want to think about him,” Sophia added.
“I don’t think about him. Although, I think about Mom more.”
“I’m not speaking about Mom,” Isabella snapped, before she let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Maybe I need to hit more things.”
“Maybe we should go get dinner,” I put in.
Isabella looked at me then, tilting her head. “Are the Cage brothers upset with their mom? Or is everything hunky-dory on that side.”
I cringed and looked over at Greer.
“I wouldn’t say hunky-dory,” Greer added. “Not that I know what that word means.”
We all let out a soft laugh, though there wasn’t much humor in it.
“I know there’s strain there, and it’s not perfect. You should talk to them.”
“About their mom? Or about the fact that our moms seemed to have found a way to hurt all of us at the same time,” Isabella asked dryly.
“We don’t talk about it,” I said, feeling a little hurt by that. Because no, Aston and I didn’t talk about his parents. At all. We talked about my family, and his work, and what we wanted with our futures in terms of our careers, but we didn’t talk about the big thing that stood between us and was obviously so heavy over his shoulders.
“We don’t talk about your father, their father,” I corrected. “I don’t know if we should, I don’t know if it’s my place. But you should all talk. That’s what those dinners are for.”
Sophia just shook her head, as Emily and Phoebe held onto each other, and Isabella’s fists clenched.
“We do those dinners because we have to. And while I can’t blame any of my siblings, on either side, for what happened, I’m not okay with it. I don’t want to talk to Mom. And I don’t want to talk about Dad anymore. I just want it all to be over. And it’s never going to be over. Because they’ve royally fucked us.”
“I wish I knew what Aston thought, but he doesn’t tell me.” I blurted out the words and didn’t realize that they were there until everyone stared at me. “Sorry, I shouldn’t center this around me.”
“No, I’d love to talk about anyone but myself,” Isabella said. “Are you okay?” she asked softly. “Do I have to hit my brother?” I asked.
“No, no violence.” They all stared pointedly at me, and I looked around the smash room. “Other than right now.” The soft laughter didn’t fill the silence. “Everything’s fine. I mean, it’s not like we’re too serious.”
“Are you trying to tell us that, or yourself,” Emily asked, not unkindly.
“I don’t know. I just, I don’t want to make something out of nothing.” I cleared my throat and rolled my shoulders back. “And since we ended this on such a weird note, let’s go get dinner, and stuff our faces.”
“I might have to eat some pizza before we go,” Phoebe added. “I’m starving.”
“Honestly same,” Sophia said, her hand on her stomach. “I skipped lunch again.”
“Sophia,” Isabella chided.
“Class ran over, and then I had to deal with a few yelling parents.” She held up her hand. “It’s part of my job. And it’s okay, I’m going to eat two dinners, like a little hobbit, and everything will be fine.”
I sighed, as we made our way into the locker room to change back into our normal clothes. Isabella tugged on my wrist, pulling me back.
“I’m sorry if I pushed,” she said.
I shook my head. “You didn’t push.”
“I did. But you’re my best friend, and I want to know about the guy you’re seeing. I want to know what you feel, and what he feels. Just like old times.”
“And I want to tell you that,” I whispered.
“But you can’t, because it’s Aston. Because he’s my brother.” She shook her head. “And that’s such a weird word to say. Kyler was my only brother for all of my life, and suddenly I’m surrounded by testosterone.”
“So much testosterone,” I whispered. “But it’s okay. We do talk. You listen.”
“I still have so much anger. And Dad’s not here, and I’m not talking to Mom, so I keep pushing it at them. So I’m sorry. I want you to tell me everything.”
“There’s not much to tell right now.”
“Do you love him?” she asked point blank, and I swallowed hard.
“I don’t know.” My voice was so small, that Isabella hugged me tightly.
“It’s okay not to know. And we can talk it out. Or you can talk it out with your parents, or someone. But you should. Because I love you.”
She kissed the tip of my nose, and I rolled my eyes.
“I love you too. But not like that.”
“No, you like another Cage,” she teased, and I shook my head, and we went to go get ready .
I pulled my phone out of my locker and frowned at the four messages from Garcia.
“Are you okay?” Sophia asked, and I nodded, pulling out my texts.
“Garcia texted a few times. I hope she’s okay.”
And then it felt as if ice slid through my veins.
Garcia:
I didn’t want to send this. I don’t think it’s my place, and I don’t think I’m doing you any good.
Garcia:
But others have seen, and I don’t want you to be in the dark. I’m here if you want to talk. I’m sorry.
And below that was a screenshot of a social media post, that made my knees go weak. Isabella’s arms went around my waist, as the others came forward.
“What’s wrong?” Sophia asked, as Isabella snatched the phone from my hand, letting me lean on Phoebe.
“I’m going to kill him,” Isabella snapped, and Greer took the phone from her.
“There has to be something wrong. This isn’t what it looks like,” Greer said softly, and Isabella put up her hand.
“You may have known him longer, but I don’t think we can deny what’s going on in this photo.”
They started arguing with each other, but I knew they weren’t mad at one another. No, they were mad at the man in the photo, with the woman crawling on him, with their mouths pressed together.
Aston was supposed to be on a work trip, and we were supposed to talk to each other tonight before he came home.
But instead, he stood on a balcony, with Meredith holding onto him, and with a kiss that seemed to shatter everything inside.
And as a single tear finally fell, I knew no amount of rage rooms were going to help. Nothing would.