Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
ASTON
Rule #1: There is no such thing as forever.
I was an asshole.
Although, this really wasn’t a new development. I was the asshole in business, the one who had to get shit done, I was the asshole with my brothers, the eldest who had to rein them in. And according to my mother, I had been born an asshole.
I didn’t know what I had done as an infant to her, but things hadn’t changed since.
Now, I was the asshole for not calling.
It had been late when I had finished dealing with my client. The same client who realized that they were potentially going to end up in prison because of money laundering, and I hadn’t wanted to wake her .
My head wasn’t on straight, my thoughts on other things.
I had texted the next morning, and even seen her at work, but we hadn’t had a full conversation since I had left her at her parents’ house. I had no idea if they even liked me.
I had hoped the event had gone well.
Except I wasn’t thinking about my client, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that my client’s brother was the one who had tried to destroy their company, and now we would all be dealing with legal issues. No, I was thinking about the letter I had found in my mailbox before I had gone to pick up Blakely.
The letter that had been addressed to me from my father.
The letter that the fucking lawyer had sent out on a time-released schedule.
And according to him, a letter was going to be sent to each child.
Twelve letters, and I was the third.
Phoebe and Ford had already gotten theirs according to the lawyer. But that was all he could tell me. I didn’t know when anyone else would get theirs, and I was a little concerned that I hadn’t known that Ford had gotten one. Maybe his had been just as cruel.
He wouldn’t even be at our dinner to broach the subject. I wasn’t sure that Phoebe trusted me enough for me to ask. In the end, I only had my letter, and everything that made no fucking sense.
Now I was in my own head, and not focusing on what I should. Not knowing if I was good enough for the woman who looked at me with stars in her eyes.
I had invited her to dinner, and so she would be there, because Blakely didn’t run out on promises.
No, that was me.
I didn’t call. I texted, but I hadn’t called. And I had left her behind at her parents’ house, and this was just after the incident with Meredith.
I was surprised I hadn’t gotten a text saying that Blakely was done with me.
Then again, maybe I was expecting one because I wanted one. It would be easier if she left.
I rubbed my temples and sighed as Theo got to work in my kitchen.
“Why are you dancing?” I asked dryly, trying to push my own melancholy and self-deprecating thoughts out of my mind.
“Because there’s music on, and I’m cooking. You have a classically trained chef in your kitchen making a family dinner, when I could be actually making money on this.”
“You’re the one who offered. Any one of us could have cooked, and I could have ordered in.”
“I’m tired of catered food. I want something that’s ours.”
“So what are you making?”
“Well, a few things because I was in the mood. We’re going to have a miso butter roasted chicken with an acorn squash panzanella, and also because I’m in the mood, we’re having a cedar plank salmon.”
I blinked at the menu, wondering what Theo was dealing with at the moment if his menu was this complicated. “Two proteins? Look at you being all fancy.”
“Shut up. I’m also making a garlic aioli, complete with vegetables and seafood we can dip in.”
“Okay, that sounds great.”
“A creamy squash risotto, that also brings in the miso. And of course a tomato tart with a chickpea crumble.”
“How many leftovers are you planning?” I asked with a laugh, feeling marginally lighter. “Do you think Dorian will like any of that?”
“Dorian can go fuck himself.”
“I can do what now?” Dorian asked as he walked inside.
Theo beamed. “Just telling you to fuck yourself.”
“Oh that’s so wonderful. Thank you. And I’ll try anything once. You know that.”
I rolled my eyes, as Theo continued to lay out the menu, complete with a mushroom and thyme mini pot pie to go with the individually baked mini fruit pies for dessert.
“How the hell are we going to eat this much food?” I asked, shaking my head.
“Easy, you’re going to want to stuff your mouths because this is going to be the best food you’ve ever had in your life.”
“I knew I liked this guy,” Dorian said as he reached over to grab a vegetable off the tray. Theo slapped his hand.
I just grinned. “Well then, at least you’re beating up on someone else other than me. ”
Theo ignored Dorian’s pleas. “I don’t beat up on you but stay out of my kitchen.”
“You know it’s my kitchen, right?” I asked.
“It is mine when I’m cooking.”
“Don’t you need a sous chef?” Dorian asked, and Theo raised a brow.
“It won’t be you. You burned water.”
Dorian rolled his eyes. “I burned the pan. I forgot that I was boiling water to make eggs. It happens.”
“Oh God, not the pan story again,” Flynn said as he walked into the kitchen, James by his side.
“It was one time,” Dorian spluttered.
Hudson followed them and shook his head. “Dorian trying to help cook again?” It was nice to see him since we barely saw him these days.
“I don’t know why we keep bringing up the story. I’m sure you’ve all burned things yourself.”
“Hush,” Theo said as he tossed salt over his shoulder. “We don’t bring that kind of negativity into my kitchen.”
“But apparently we throw salt in my kitchen?” I asked.
“Hudson, come help me cook. You’re the only one I trust.”
“I’m kind of hurt,” Flynn said, rubbing a hand over his shoulder. “I mean, I look just like that asshole, and you would think that I would be able to help as well.”
“I like Hudson better,” Theo said, grinning, and I left the chef and his sous chef in the kitchen as the doorbell rang.
“I’ll go get it,” James said, and I shook my head .
“No, we’re only missing one person.”
“Do you think she’s ready for us?” Flynn asked, but I didn’t say anything. Because I wasn’t sure I was ready for this. Dorian gave me a look, and I ignored him before going to answer the door.
As soon as I opened the door, my heart stopped. Just in that instance, all thoughts of family squabbles and fathers who tried to rip your heart out fled.
Because Blakely stood there, in a soft pink dress, one that brought memories to the surface. Oh, it was a different dress than the one I had seen her in at the gala, and yet it was such a similar color that it made my mouth go dry.
“You’re here.”
She tilted her head, worry in those bright eyes of hers. “You invited me. Was I not supposed to come?” she asked, her hands tightening on her purse.
I reached out for her, bringing her inside. When I brushed my lips against her temple, she relaxed, and yet I couldn’t help but tense in her stead.
“No, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Are you?” she asked softly. But before I could answer that, if I even had an answer, Dorian was pulling her out of my arms, and placing a very loud and smacking kiss on her cheek.
“Blakely! It’s my favorite person. You have tamed the beast.”
“Oh, you’ve probably made a grave mistake in coming,” Flynn said as he lifted his chin in hello .
“Would you like a drink?” James asked, and Blakely just blinked, as everyone seemed to be speaking at once.
“I can get her a drink,” I growled, annoyed with myself more than anything.
Blakely stood still for a moment, a deer in headlights, before a sense of calm washed over her, a small smile playing over her face. When she smiled like that, it felt like time stood still. And that was a damn problem.
“I’d love a glass of wine. Anything you have.”
“We’re having mostly poultry and fish, so go with white or sparkling,” Theo called out from the kitchen, and I shook myself out of my own thoughts, and went to go get her a sparkling wine.
Soon, the woman I couldn’t stop thinking about was surrounded by my brothers, and even the quiet Hudson asking questions.
It would’ve probably felt like an interrogation, except for the fact that everybody was laughing, and she was asking the questions right back.
The table was overflowing with food, and I sat next to Blakely, using my fork to spread my meal around on the plate so it looked as if I was eating. Oh, Theo noticed, and so did Blakely, but I wasn’t sure anyone else had. Theo would yell at me later for being so disrespectful to his meal, but Blakely? I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
And that seemed to be the tone of the day.
“I saw your painting, Hudson, I didn’t get to tell you when we met up at the lake. But it’s gorgeous. ”
Hudson set down his beer and shrugged. “It’s okay. It could use a few more finishing touches.”
“You always say that, and yet I think it looks damn good,” Flynn put in.
Blakely looked between them, frowning.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” Flynn asked.
She shook her head, her cheeks going pink. “No, it’s just the fact that I see you nearly every day at work, and I know you and Hudson are identical twins, yet you two are nothing alike.”
“Because I’m more handsome,” Flynn said. “By the way, we’re not at work, my humor doesn’t count as an issue, right?”
“I’m pretty sure that the fact that my best friend is your sister and works with you, and I’m dating Aston, we’re past that point.”
“And I’m the more handsome one,” Hudson said deadpan.
Blakely smiled. “Totally. It is the beard.”
A slight jealousy crawled through my system, and I pushed it away.
“I’m going to have to grow a bushy beard. I don’t know if I like that,” Flynn said as he ran his hand over his face.
“Aston’s going to need a beard,” Theo said, studying me with worry in his gaze. “Do you think you can grow one.”
“I grew one before you even hit puberty and your balls dropped. So I’m pretty sure I’m fine. ”
“If you could refrain from talking about my balls at the dinner table that would be great,” Theo said with a laugh.
“I’m just surprised you are the one that brought it up,” Dorian said, staring at me. “After all, you told us to be on our best behavior.”
I rolled my eyes, the slight humor sliding through the gloom. “You have already discussed accidental boners, girlfriends who tried to key your car, and the one time we had to help you out of handcuffs. I think we’re well past that.”
Blakely snorted beside me, and I looked down at her smiling face, once again that kick in the gut surprising me.
“When you first mentioned the handcuffs, I didn’t realize it was because he was handcuffed to a bed.”
Dorian fluttered his eyelashes. “What? I wanted to see if it was fun.”
“I don’t need to know any more,” Blakely said with a laugh, and they continued on with their teasing of each other.
Soon we were cleaning up, with Theo putting Dorian and Flynn on dish duty. When Blakely got a call from one of her team members, she went out onto the back patio, needing to handle it. Hudson was already out there, also dealing with something from the town, and I stood between the back French doors where she had just walked through, and the kitchen where my brothers were all working .
“So you going to tell us what the fuck is wrong?” Dorian asked, his voice low.
I stiffened, shaking my head. “I’m fine.”
“You aren’t fine. Don’t fuck this up with her,” Flynn whispered. “And I’m not talking as someone who works with her. I’m talking as your brother. A guy who likes Blakely.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“It is, and that’s the problem,” James added.
“What’s going on in that brain of yours?” Theo asked.
I swallowed hard, hoping to hell Blakely’s call lasted a bit longer. And then I pulled the envelope out of the drawer nearest to me. I could have kept it anywhere, but I kept it in the junk drawer, where it needed to be.
I handed it over to Dorian, without thinking, and then pulled back. As my father clearly hated me, he hated Dorian the most. So seeing that familiar handwriting had put a gray pallor on Dorian’s skin.
James moved forward, and cursed, pulling out the letter. “What the hell is this?”
“Apparently we’re each getting letters from beyond the grave.” I explained about the timing, and the lawyer, and while they each wanted to get into the group chat to ask what the hell Ford was thinking not warning them, I had a feeling that Ford and Phoebe had different instructions or were still dealing with the ramifications of Dear Old Dad’s honest cruelty.
“I’m going to kill him all over again,” James growled.
“What does it say?” Dorian asked, his voice slightly fearful .
James cleared his throat, his hands tightening on the paper.
“And do it fast,” I said, nothing left in me at the moment.
Aston,
If you’re reading this, I’m dead. Or I’ve decided it was time to tell you.
Now that I’m gone, either physically or metaphorically, you are The Cage. But are you really?
You have always been a disappointment to me. Never truly able to step up into the paths that your grandfather and I had chosen for you. If you would have been paying attention, you would’ve learned long ago about your other siblings. But no, you were so busy trying to move out of my shadow, you never could see what was right in front of you.
It’s your fault that your siblings will be hurt. Because if you had been smart enough, powerful enough, you would’ve known.
I was the one who built this company to what it is. And the changes you have been making have been breaking my heart. You’re so worried about keeping the environment safe you’re not thinking about what we could truly do with those plots. What we could truly become worldwide instead of stuck in this state. We could have been something more, but no, your job as The Cage will never slide you out of the shadow of who your grandfather and I were.
You know my rules. I pounded them into you far before you even tried to take my mantle. A mantle you will never have.
But the rules I had kept our lives separate. It kept the secrets that needed to be.
Do not let your brothers ruin this company. Do not let the other Cages in. And while the will is forcing you to become acquainted, remember that you are The Cage. Perhaps not The Cage I wanted, but The Cage.
I was the small-town dad when I needed to be, and the elite father when you were around. And that’s how it should have stayed.
But, with time comes reflection. And if you had been a better son, I wouldn’t have had to try to make so many. I wouldn’t have had to try with another woman. But you are my greatest failure. Well, my first failure.
So just know that genes run true, and if I could fail, me with all of my talent and all of my power could fail…
You will too.
So keep to the rules, and when you inevitably screw up, remember that the rules could have saved you.
Loren.
“Are you kidding me?” Flynn asked. “That is the ramblings of a delusional man. You don’t actually believe that do you?” he asked, and I shrugged, my jaw tightening.
“I need to go,” Dorian said, as he pushed past me, not saying another word. James looked between us, cursed, and followed Dorian out. Because while those words in that letter were terrible, and perhaps true, it was nothing to what my father had done to Dorian.
Theo pressed his lips together and didn’t say a thing. And I wasn’t sure there was anything else to say.
“Do not believe this. He’s just a ranting old man who’s dead. And yes, we’re playing his little game by getting to know our siblings, but I want to. I want to fucking know them. Don’t let Dad ruin this. Don’t let him in your head.”
“He’s already there. Do you know how much work I’ve had to deal with the company and dealing with the fallout of his mistakes? And when I fuck this up with Blakely, because I will, it’s going to fuck things up with Isabella too. So no matter what I do, I’m going to hurt this family.”
“You’re not making any sense,” Theo whispered. “Just don’t screw up things with Blakely. I see with the way you two are. You love that woman.”
“How do we even know what love is? We’re Cages.”
“You don’t believe that, look at Ford.”
“Ford was the one who got out. Maybe he was the smartest one of us all.”
Before they could fight with me any longer, the back door opened, and Blakely and Hudson walked in. The tension in the room was palpable, and I knew that everyone could feel it. But when Blakely looked at me, I didn’t have any words to say. There was nothing.
“I should head home,” she said, her voice oddly shallow.
What had she heard? What was she thinking? I hated that I couldn’t read her mind. Nor did I know what the hell I was doing.
“I’ll walk you to your car.”
She stared at me, her eyes pleading, but my brothers didn’t say a damn thing. At least not until she went to get her purse. Then they said their goodbyes, although we didn’t explain why Dorian and James weren’t in the room.
As I walked her to her car, I knew I needed to say something. To fix this. But maybe there wasn’t any fixing. Maybe if I fixed things the way they should be now, it wouldn’t hurt later.
I leaned down and kissed her temple, and she stared up at me, confusion in her gaze. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying. Something happened before dinner with my parents, and something just happened when I was out on the porch. What’s going on, Aston?”
My throat tightened and it took effort to grind the words out. “It’s a family thing.”
She nodded, swallowing hard. “I get that. But you can talk to me you know. We’ve been together for how long? I thought you trusted me enough to talk to me. Or at least talk to your brothers. Don’t push me away.”
I slid my hands into my pockets and stared off into the distance, my father’s word’s reverberating within my mind. “Maybe I need some space.”
“What?” she asked, the break in her voice nearly killing me.
“I need to figure out where my head is at. And while I’m doing so, I might hurt you. So it’d be good if we just took some time.”
“Why won’t you talk to me? You always push me away, and I can’t take it anymore.”
“Blakely, I…” My voice trailed off .
“You know what, no.” I met her gaze, and there were no tears, just a lifted chin, and resignation in those eyes. “Just don’t call. It’s what you’re good at. Take your time to figure it out. Because I can’t do this. Because I know if I’m the one that pushes you, I’ll be the one that breaks. And I’m better than that. I truly hope you figure out what’s going on, Aston. Because you’re not going to talk to me. And I’m not going to fight when all I’ll do is end up broken.”
Some part of me screamed, shouted for me to reach out, to hold her, to tell her everything. But the other part, the one that sounded suspiciously like my father, told me to stay put. That this was the easiest way.
And so I didn’t say anything, and when that single tear tracked down her cheek, I didn’t brush it away.
Instead she got in her car, and drove off, and I let it happen. But it was for the best.
It needed to be.