Chapter 14 Righteous
Righteous
“It will be a miracle if he survives.”
Haneul’s voice was low, but she’d left the door to the healing room ajar, and sound traveled very effectively in the otherwise silent space.
Sabriel, the Healer, had appointed Haneul as her assistant.
As Mikhail’s former mentor in Sanctuary, she’d jumped at the chance; her deep affection for her student hadn’t diminished at all over the centuries apart.
Haneul had gone to get more of what Sunny jokingly referred to as our “Celestial go juice,” and was speaking to Sunny outside.
I wanted to ask her to shut the door. Mikhail lay next to me on the bed, and when I cracked open one eyelid—an action that was surprisingly pain-free—I saw he hadn’t woken.
That worried me. Why was he so much worse off than me?
Both of us were swaddled in blue blankets, with ropes of blue light attached directly to our flesh everywhere Sabriel and Haneul could fit them.
Well, even if he was asleep, I didn’t need to hear this kind of pessimism.
I wasn’t sure how bad Mikhail felt. He kept his features impassive, though his breathing was raspy and every once in a while, he stopped altogether.
I knew it felt like every inch of my skin was being lightly sanded over and over again.
As if all my organs were being slowly heated, swelling inside me, and my heart was being compressed slowly.
I was so tired I could barely lift my head.
It had been worse at first; I’d passed out right after the gate had shut behind Feather. When I eventually woke up, the pain had been manageable, if constant. But as the hours and days wore on, the pain grew teeth and began to gnaw at me.
If feeling this was the price to have my Scrap back, though, I would gladly accept it.
In some sick way, the pain felt like penance.
Like I was paying the very smallest part of the debt I owed her for my initial cruelty.
And I knew it was nothing compared to what she’d suffered for so long, agony she’d never deserved.
“Do you mean Righteous?” Sunny whispered to Haneul. “Or Mikhail?”
I held my breath, waiting. After a long moment, Haneul replied, “Righteous should have died already. He’s only been a High Angelus for days, Sunny.
If Mikhail weren’t taking on almost all the energy drain for both of them, Righteous would…
Well, never mind. Let’s get in there and add some more juice to the system, hm? Smile.”
When the door finally opened, I had my eyes closed again, but my thoughts were humming like a fallen hornet’s nest.
“Hey, Anaconda Pants,” Sunny said, touching my forehead gently with one hand.
It felt like she’d placed an ember on my skin.
I hissed in pain, and she snatched her hand away.
“He’s freezing,” she whispered. I was grateful for the quiet; loud noises felt like an icepick being driven into my ears. But any sound made me nauseous.
The only thing worse was mental communication.
We’d discovered that the first few hours after Feather had gone.
For some reason, our souls were wide open, the soulfire inside us exposed, as if they were seeking any hint of her.
This meant that the movement of energies around us was the psychic equivalent of having our souls filled with boiling lava.
Or chocolate fondue, I supposed, thinking of Feather.
“More blankets on him,” Haneul whispered back. “Use them all.”
I forced my eyelids open. “Any word?” I croaked, and Sunny was immediately there with a cup of blue juice. It felt cool sliding down my throat, and I swallowed gratefully.
“None. We just know she reached Sanctuary.”
I remembered that moment. When the feeling of having my insides stretched across the universe—a pain that was matched by the exhausting joy I felt as I funneled everything I could down the threads of energy to her—suddenly snapped off, almost entirely.
Only the thinnest thread remained. Mikhail and I both had fallen to the ground, and I’d thought I was dead for a moment.
Then Mikhail had wrapped his arms around me like I was a child, and pushed some portion of his spirit into my chest. It was like a flare of pure energy, a bolt of solid lightning, and my heart began beating once more.
Had he sacrificed some part of his own soul to keep me breathing?
“Well, we haven’t heard anything since. But I know the Celestials are all praying. Imriel actually let Precious come into one of his musical meditations.”
I fought through the pain to ask, “How was it?”
Sunny smiled and whispered, “She inherited my musical ability, not Feather’s or Mikhail’s. Did you know they have jobs here? Everyone gets training in all the arts at first, but you specialize as a sculptor, a musician, a painter, an inventor, a gardener…”
Next to me, Mikhail began thrashing on the bed.
Haneul was standing next to him, her hands on his temples, murmuring a prayer.
She had attached lines of blue fluid and inserted them directly into his veins.
The healing liquid was emptying out of the cloud-shaped bags that floated by the wall, faster than it had before.
“What’s wrong?” My head felt like it might explode with the strain of speaking, but I noticed I was feeling better.
How? Even though it made my gut churn like I might vomit, I focused my mind on the energy that was moving through me, and tried to picture it with my mind’s eye.
This was one of the things High Angeli could do with practice.
Gavriel had begun to teach me in Sanctuary to see the balance, but what I saw, when those lines of power rose up into my view now, horrified me.
Mikhail was killing himself to keep me from taking my full share of the pain of being separated from Feather. He was funneling the healing lines of power directly to me. Protecting me, as he had Sanctuary for all those years. Suffering in silence.
“Mik,” I rasped, pushing myself up onto one elbow.
“Mik.” His brow furrowed, and he flinched.
“I need you to stop, Mikhail. I need you to let me bear more of this burden.” He turned his head an inch to the side, and I knew he was denying me.
I groaned. “Not all of it. I’m not that strong; I know that.
But please, you’re dying. We’re connected, Mikhail.
If you die, Feather and Gavriel and I… we’ll all go, too.
It’s hard for you, I know. For so long in Sanctuary, you were the only one keeping the realm going. The only one we could rely on.”
I hesitated, scanning his face. He was listening.
Good. “You have to let others help bear the burdens. You’re not meant to do this alone.
You’re meant to be a part of us. Our family.
Our group.” I reached out and grasped his hand, focusing on the power in my own fingers, and began pushing it out of me and into him.
Our mating marks were both in the same place, and so close to each other, they almost seemed to pulse with a blue glow. Mikhail let out a gasp of relief.
A wave of weakness and searing pain flooded my system, but I ignored it and started singing my favorite healing song.
Haneul joined in, and Sunny sang an alto line a major third below her.
As we sang, I felt stronger. Though I knew I was sending power to Mik, I also could tell he was still taking the lion’s share of the energy drain.
But our mating marks began to glow more and more brightly, the longer I held on and put my heart into my voice.
Let my love for Tili, for Feather, my little Scrap, take shape in the notes and become a temporary miracle for Mikhail. Let my love be for him as well.
“You’ve halved his pain,” Haneul said after a moment. “I don’t know if it was holding his hand, or the singing. But he’s not losing strength nearly as fast. This is… There’s hope now.” Her dark eyes caught mine. “Don’t let go, Righteous.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “I won’t let go for anything.”