Chapter 16 Feather
Feather
The hallways of Sanctuary were dimmer than they should be, and the soft lights flickered intermittently.
Every time the energy dipped, Arabella flew faster.
I could sense the stored power inside her fluctuating, pushing like a tide on sand, and wondered how I could help her.
It felt dangerous, like she held a lion on a small leash inside of her.
It was only a matter of time until it burst free.
When we arrived at The Merge, Perception stood at the door alone, soul knife drawn, singing. He was covered with bleeding scratches, but there were no shadows nearby now, and he threw the door wide for us. Four of the octet took his place right outside as he ushered us in.
The large space was so packed with Protectors and Guides, it was hard even to get into the room.
Arabella huffed in exasperation and picked me up again, flying over the heads of everyone on the main dance floors to the stage at the far end.
This was where Mikhail had told everyone in the realm I was his only months ago—though it felt like years.
The stage was raised up, and the only ones on it now were some Protectors I recognized as healers and a dozen or so injured people who were being fed the supplies we’d managed to scavenge.
The chef and his crew were already there, but off to one side, doing something that looked like a combination of praying and making clay snakes.
“Cooking more up?” I asked when Arabella set me down.
He nodded, but stayed focused on his task.
Arabella moved away, striding to the other side of the stage.
While she was busy, I checked in on Gavriel.
I didn’t plan to speak into his mind; I was just listening.
Maybe hoping to get a glimpse of Rumple.
Not reaching out to him was the hardest thing I’d done in… well, at least a few hours. But if he really needed me to leave him alone, I could do that. Even if it made me feel like a needy, whiny birch. How much harm could a tiny little hello do? I forced myself to send that hello to Gav instead.
Gavriel answered instantly. Are you safe? He sounded breathless, and I wondered how he was faring with only a soul knife. He was an expert fighter, though, the best in all Sanctuary. I had to believe he’d be fine.
Yes. In The Merge now with Percy. Hope’s rounding more people up to bring them here. As I said that, another flood of Protectors breached the doors on the far wall, and I noted what had to be Hope’s mostly angelic glow following them inside. Had she ascended?
She can’t ascend until you link her to the realm, Feather. But she’s ready. You should connect her; we need more High Angeli to bolster Sanctuary.
Got it, I thought back. How are you? How’s Rumple? He didn’t answer, but that was enough to scare me. I’ll come down there. I can tie the shadows—
No! he shouted into my mind. My brain hurt from the sheer volume of his response. I’m sorry. No, Feather, you need to… I can’t believe it’s come to this. You must evacuate the realm. There’s no saving it. You all have to get out.
At some level, I’d already known this was the only solution, but my heart still fell at his words.
Then I realized what he’d said. You? You mean we, right?
We have to get out. I can’t live without you and Rumple.
You know that. He didn’t answer, and I gasped.
Arabella, talk to Gavriel. He and Rumple are planning some sort of Thelma and Louise routine down there.
I’m not leaving without them. Both of them.
I glimpsed her returning through the crowd. She nodded grimly, then stopped and closed her eyes, obviously setting up a quick Celestial conference with the heroes below.
I knew Gavriel wouldn’t leave Sanctuary while there was so much as one soul remaining. So I had my own work to focus on. I strode to the center of the stage floor and yelled, “Everybody, listen up!” No one listened. No one even heard me. “What the fudge?”
Everyone in the room was watching Arabella, trying to talk to her. Calling out, “She’ll save us!” and grabbing at her robe, while she was still on a call. She shook them off, growing more and more pissed. There was an almost visible dark cloud of anger forming around her.
Finally, her eyes snapped open, and she stalked back to my side, carrying a stained velvet loveseat that would probably look like the Milky Way under a blacklight, knowing how much freaky shizz went on in this place. “You need to address your realm.”
“I tried. They didn’t hear me,” I muttered.
“They heard you,” Arabella seethed. “They just aren’t listening. But this might help.” She picked me up and stood me on top of the loveseat. I glared down at her. Not very far down, though. I was only a couple of inches taller than her standing on the sofa.
“Nice try. They’re still not paying attention to me.” They were all looking at her. Of course they were; she was everything a Celestial Messenger should be. Their eyes shone with hope, and longing, and belief. For a second, it reminded me of how Gavriel used to watch her, his heart in his gaze.
Her eyes softened, the green ring in them dimming the tiniest bit. He was looking for you. In the wrong direction. It’s why he gave up hope so long ago. He knew, deep down, I would never be his. Because I wasn’t perfect for him. Not like you.
I don’t even like him, I admitted, though I wasn’t sure that was the whole truth. I mean, I appreciate the aesthetic. He’s fully lickable. If he just didn’t talk…
She laughed. You’re not wrong. His heart’s so broken, though. I wonder what it would be like if it were repaired? She took my hand and turned me to face the crowd, slipping one last thought in there. No soul is unredeemable, right? Don’t forget that. Now, say something inspirational.
I shook the thoughts of Gavriel away and yelled, “Sanctuary! Listen up.” This time, to my surprise, they did.
Every eye landed on me. I swallowed, suddenly thirsty, and not in a fun way.
“So, it’s good to see you all here together.
” Arabella rolled her eyes so hard, I thought they might come loose.
“You all know me. I’m Feather. You may not know I’ve been gone for a couple of days. I went to the Celestial Realm, and—”
Jeers interrupted me. For a split second, I was back in the Great Hall, where I had been not that long ago, with these same souls mocking me, howling for my punishment.
Had they learned nothing? Did they still look at me, after I’d taken on so much for them, suffered so deeply, and see someone unworthy?
The evil voice that had encouraged me to rend echoed in my memories. Kill them all.
As if they also remembered that directive, the gray curlicues beneath my skin formed into venomous snakes, fighting to leap out of my skin and teach these bassholes a deadly lesson in manners.
The little snakes hissed specific, helpful ideas at me.
I could teach these jerks that lesson from where I stood.
I could pick up a few threads from the floor, loop them around their necks and stuff their rude mouths with…
Before I could go completely Darth Vader, Truth hopped up onto the loveseat beside me. He shot me a look that let me know he’d noticed my gray skin tone. I took a calming, non-homicidal breath and sent the murder-snakes to sleep as he extended his wings behind us both.
Huh. He was glowing a deep golden-brown from all his feathers. Maybe we would have two more High Angeli before the end of this meeting.
“Listen to her. She speaks the truth. And you owe her your attention—especially you Guides. Feather cleansed every one of you of your taint. She’s the rightful leader of Sanctuary, and she is the only way any of us are going to get out of here alive!
” His voice had risen to a rather impressive shout by the end.
The room went silent, the only sounds coming from those singing outside the doors. Everyone knew this guy. He literally vomited any time there was even the faintest hint of a lie told. He couldn’t speak anything other than the absolute truth, even if no one knew what that was.
“Why are you here, Feather?” a voice called out, concern and affection in the tone.
I didn’t know who it was, but I smiled. “Well, as it turns out, I’m not just the leader of Sanctuary. When I got to the Celestial Realm, I started dying, because—plot twist!—I’m the soulmate of Gavriel—” A new roar buried my next muttered words, “the Grumpy Goat Fudger.”
Then Arabella did something that made her glow like an old television about to explode, and they went quiet again.
“It’s true,” she told the crowd. “I am not, nor have I ever been, Gavriel Lightbearer’s mate.
I am a Celestial Messenger.” Most of them bowed their heads at that.
Some even dropped to their knees. “And you will listen to what Feather, the Beautiful Sacrifice, has to say. And, as she is the authority over this realm, and also a Celestial Messenger, you will obey her.”
Some of the Guides looked like they’d just had pickle juice enemas. But not a single one argued.
“Right,” I said, when she nodded for me to take over.
“I may not be what you expected. I may not be what you wanted. But apparently, I am the leader of Sanctuary. I returned from the Celestial Realm to save Gavriel. And Hope and Percy,” I added when Truth turned a little green.
“And possibly Rump—Seraphiel, if I can. Then I’m going back there. ”
“That’s impossible,” a Guide I recognized from group therapy yelled.
“You can’t get back into the Celestial Realm.
A soul can only enter once. If they didn’t kick you out, then you left on your own—but you can’t return.
” There was enough condescension in their tone to butter that entire foot-long, erroneous mansplain sandwich.
I put a hand over my eyes, feeling a wicked headache coming on.