Chapter 30 Feather
Feather
The next ten minutes were the equivalent of going to a massive rave while tied in a warm sack. It was the worst trip I’d ever been on, and I’d gone to the void and back twice, and the Chicago Lollapalooza for sixteen hours once, after someone slipped me a powerfully bad brownie.
Rumple’s war cries mixed with the roars of shadows, and glitter flew in great clouds around us.
Gavriel shone brightly enough that it was truly blinding.
His distraction worked, at least for a while.
I could tell we’d gotten out ahead of the pack of shadows as he ran and, from the gathered darkness over his shoulder, that they had converged on Rumple.
I tried to count hallways, but Gav was taking a very odd route to the gate—possibly to avoid traps or ambushes.
So, I tried to pray instead. But the only thing my mind would produce wasn’t a hymn of praise. It was an earworm.
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, I hummed to myself. Ninety-nine bottles of beer… I’d only reached sixty-two bottles when Gavriel stopped, leaning against a wall. He didn’t speak, just panted silently as he caught his breath.
Almost there, Feather, he thought. The gate is just ahead.
I can see it. But I had no idea there were this many shadows inside our realm.
Rafe is coming behind us, but without his armor he took a lot of damage.
It appears they’re very angry with him. I can’t see how he’ll make it through, but we’ll wait here. And pray.
He stepped into a recessed bit of the hall. With my head listing to one side, I could see a smaller shadow creeping down the wall toward us. Sneaking, as if it didn’t want to be seen.
I couldn’t close my eyes, and I was horrified when the shadow caught up with Gavriel, leaping onto his back where the mostly empty glitter bag was slung over his shoulder.
It was weightless, and Gav didn’t notice its clawed edges on the cloth.
I glared at the thing, wishing I was the superhero I’d imagined myself all those years…
no, months ago, before Gavriel found me. I’d laser eye this guy right in the…
Wait. The shadow wasn’t attacking. It was waiting. For what? I stared at it, and began to see strange lines, slight depressions on its surface, as if it had fallen asleep on a macramé project.
This was my beast bunny! The little submissive shadow who’d waited for me to come and untie him, and he was…
Whoa. He’d stretched himself out and begun to extend into the space behind Gavriel’s back like a thin, semi-transparent gray sheet.
Did the shibari shadow want to wrap himself around us? Maybe he thought he could cover us up.
It was a great idea. I only needed Gav to pick up on it.
I started thinking of one of my less-used fantasies, the one with the burly security guards, the person-sized roll of plastic wrap and the baby pool full of jello shots.
I could tell when Gav finally dipped back into my thoughts because he went still.
What are you trying to say? You can’t be wanting sex. For one thing, you’re paralyzed. And we just merged.
Crap, now I had to concentrate on two things: showing him how the guards had wrapped me in clingy plastic wrap—skipping the baby pool jello and the sex parts—and worrying about his refractory time. We just merged? That was an hour ago.
I needed to get back to Righteous. He could go every ten minutes. I accidentally thought of the time Ry had stayed hard after coming three times in a row.
Why are you thinking of Righteous? Wait, are you showing me how to stay hard, you little wretch? He craned his neck to peer down at my face, and that’s when he spied the shibari shadow.
I instantly knew I had to name this guy. Shady. Yeah. Slim Shady.
Gavriel stared at Slim, who had shrunk back down and was very proudly showing off his little knot lines. Then he stretched himself out again, beckoning with ragged corners. He did it twice more, exaggerating the motion of wrapping around something invisible.
This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, Gavriel thought.
But if I’m right, this is that shadow you got kinky with.
Honestly, Feather, if you end up mating this thing, I’m out.
His tone was rich with humor, desperation, and acceptance.
As if he’d finally figured out that the rules didn’t exactly apply when it came to bad-ash birches like me.
Gavriel stared at Slim as he slowly stretched himself out into shadow cling film again, then he nodded slowly. “Do it.”
But Slim seemed terrified of Gavriel, and he wouldn’t move toward us.
“Go ahead,” Gavriel whispered, but the shadow still quivered, falling back a bit more. Gavriel sent me a thought—this is the kinky little fucker, right?—then pulled out the golden knife from the Maker Hall. “If you hurt her, shadow, I’ll cut you to ribbons.”
Slim Shady contracted instantly, and Gav snarled.
Okay, it’s not into knife play then. Damnit, what was this one’s kink?
Praise, degradation? Some other weird shit?
I can’t fucking remember. He rolled his eyes, giving me one of his most disgusted looks.
Guess I try it all. “All right now. Be the good little shadow slut I know you are, and wrap yourself around Daddy,” he finished, each word dripping with condescension and distaste.
Slim Shady ate that shizz up. He went an even darker shade of gray—I wondered if that was the shadow version of blood rushing to his parts—and shivered as he pressed all around us.
“I’m almost certain you won’t be able to stay in place while I move to the gate,” Gavriel said, his whisper so filled with challenge and scorn, even I wanted to prove him wrong. “Filthy shadows like you can’t hold still when they’re told to. Have to be punished.”
Slim Shady slapped himself into place, and I could’ve sworn I heard a thought. I can, sir. But that might have been me.
Gavriel sent one last thought into my mind.
I’m going to move as slowly as I can through the crowd.
He hesitated, and I had a feeling he was connecting with Rumple.
An odd expression crossed his face. Rafe made it through.
He’s on his way. We need to get as close as possible to the gate before they realize we’re here.
The next few minutes were terrifying. I knew if the other shadows caught wind of us, we were doomed.
At one point, about halfway through the crowd, Gavriel’s foot scuffed against something on the floor, and the shadows—none of which had feet—all went eerily still.
Gavriel held his breath for a minute, but the shadows nearby started closing in, sensing something.
I felt his hand move to his knife. But just then, we heard fighting. And singing.
My favorite voice in the world. The one that had held me together, figuratively and literally, through realms and lifetimes. All the moments that Rumple had held me, sung to me, began to flicker through my mind like a deck of cards being shuffled.
A line of a poem I knew by heart threaded through my mind, and at first, I thought it was a memory.
It was Rabindranath Tagore, one of Rumple’s favorite “modern” poets.
But then I realized it was Gavriel’s thought, not mine.
I seem to have loved you in infinite forms, numberless times.
In life after life, age after age, forever.
The poem kept unspooling in his thoughts, and I could sense how deeply he’d pondered the words. He’d written more than one song from the verses.
We had the same favorite poet? It was a strange realization, here, at the possible end of both of us, to understand even more clearly that we were perfect for one another. That we had been all along.
I remembered reading one of my favorites, and hoped he was listening. My heart, the bird of this wilderness, has found its sky, there in your arms. They are the cradle of the morning…
Feather? Gavriel’s mind entered mine, seeking. Hunting for the part of my mind that could still think. Still communicate. Will there really be a morning? he said at last, riffing on my poem with another. Is there such a thing as day?
I hummed the rest of the poem I’d learned in a song. Could I see it from the mountains, if I were as tall as— Wait. Is this about me being short? I flicked through my memories of Sunny, Arabella, and Righteous all calling me too short.
Gav’s eyes widened to saucers, but he had no time to let me know if he’d heard. Rumple had reached the crowd. The singing became strained, the roar of the shadows overwhelming the pure sound.
I could tell he wanted to go to Rumple, to help. I could also feel the exhaustion in his very bones. He used the distraction to move more quickly toward the gate, and finally was within reach. Slim Shady pulled back from us, and Gavriel grabbed hold of one of the smaller columns.
Revel’s voice was awash with relief as he spoke in my mind. Our minds, I realized, as Gavriel was listening, too. You two are truly deranged, aren’t you? Wading through a sea of shadow, wrapped in a… Well, who is this? What a naughty little shadow, playing with High Angeli.
Slim Shady went slightly more gray in spots, probably blushing.
Focus, Revel, I thought, but my mind was so weak, I wasn’t sure he heard me.
You’re Revel. Gavriel tilted his head. You’re the gate. I must apologize for not singing to you.
That’s a good start, Revel grumped. Do you know how hard it’s been to just stand here without being able to communicate with anyone? Some days I could barely move the landscapes over my columns. No one paid attention to me, and I did everything but send up smoke signals. Shit, I even did that once.
Yeah, tell me about it, I thought. Complain later, though, big brother.
Please don’t call me that.
My heart pounded. Wait, you can hear me? How?
Eh, I might be pulling on a little of your battery.
My feather? Get off. That’s Rumple’s. I need it to keep hoping.