Chapter 37
Feather
The guys kept telling me I needed to sleep, that I wasn’t healed, and I knew they were right.
Gavriel claimed our energies needed to jell, or align, or some woo-woo shizz that reminded me of the time a meditation coach’s assistant in Santa Fe had wanted to align my chakras with his tongue.
It had been a lot less appealing than it sounded, especially since he had a head cold at the time and had sneezed a big booger right on my Svadhishthana chakra.
But I couldn’t stay in the cloud bedroom.
Not when Sunny, and Precious, and the rest of my friends were outside.
So, after round twelve of what I’d decided to call the Inaugural Limen-palooza Tour de My Pants—which was funny since I had no pants or clothes of any kind, except for the ragged scraps of the toga I’d been wrapped in when I’d arrived—I snuck out.
I was actually pretty proud. Apparently, I’d worn out three High Angeli, though I saw Righteous’s anaconda twitch a little when I slid off the bed. Mikhail opened one eyelid and closed it again when I blew him a kiss.
I had just reached the door when I heard a soft voice right behind me. Gavriel. “Where are you going, little nemesis?”
“Out.” I leaned back into his warm body, and saw a bundle of white appear in front of me. It was one of Mikhail’s shirts, and I hugged Gavriel in thanks, luxuriating in his warmth.
The fire he was carrying around from Sanctuary made him run hot, making me curious about how fast chocolate might melt on him, if he was tied up and covered in slabs of the stuff.
“I like that idea,” he murmured as he pulled on his torn leather trousers and slipped the t-shirt over my head, escorting me out the door and leaving the others to rest. “We should do it later.”
I sighed as he carried me away from the bedroom building and through what looked like a bank lobby made of white cotton candy.
“Gavriel, they might not even have chocolate here. And if they did, did you feel those sheets? They’re maybe 200-thread-count, max.
The chocolate would probably be like the cheap stuff from a gas station. ”
“Birch, I would have already left this place if there wasn’t chocolate.”
I pulled away from Gavriel, and saw Sunny, sitting on a cloud bench and eating… “Truffles?” I gasped.
“Indeed,” she said warmly, offering me one.
I ran to her, ignoring the chocolate and grabbing her in a hug.
A gentle one, because my bones still felt strangely jelly-like, and my muscles wobbly and loose.
I lost my footing, and began to slide to the ground.
Maybe there was something to Gavriel’s assertion that I needed more bed rest. Without me even asking, he picked me back up and set me on the bench.
“Where’s Precious?” I asked, swiping the happy tears away from my cheeks.
Sunny smiled widely. “Probably over at the far edge of the Limen with Perception and Truth, mining more soulfire to make chocolate.”
“Mining… what?”
Her grin grew even wider. “Imriel was super worked up about all of us leaving the Celestial Realm. Said it was a sign of great changes—like that was a bad thing. He and Percy chat back and forth daily about all sorts of stuff. He’s teaching Percy how to fabricate things, apparently. It’s part of Maker training.”
“Maker training?” My mind was spinning.
“Yeah, we’ve all got jobs helping expand and build onto the Limen, although now that Mikhail’s here, I would think he’d take over the making part.” She hugged me close with one arm. “Or you could, once you’re… yourself again, right? Are you back to normal? Well, your normal.”
While I pondered my answer, Gavriel stood, seeing a crowd of High Angeli in the distance. “What are they doing?”
“Why don’t you go see, Grumpy?”
“I can’t leave you,” he replied instantly. His eyes landed on me, and there was a lifetime of trauma and fear swirling there. I wasn’t the only one who’d been damaged by our adventures.
I cupped his chin in one hand and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, whispering, “I will be fine. I promise, I won’t go anywhere without you.” Threading his fingers through my hair, he gave me a desperate kiss.
Sunny cleared her throat. “Gavriel, I swear she’ll be protected. I won’t let her walk. We have a lot to catch up on. Precious is over there—go say hi. She’s grown since you saw her last.”
“Precious?” His eyes lit up then, but he didn’t move from my side. “Are you sure you’ll be okay without me, imp?”
My lip quivered at the endearment Rumple had called me, but I gave him a weak thumbs up, and waited until he was far enough away not to hear before I answered Sunny.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be myself again, Sun,” I said, staring at the truffle that was melting in my fingers. “I left a part of me behind. Maybe forever.” I took a shaky breath. “It’s sort of becoming a habit, I guess.”
Sunny stroked my hair while I sent her my memories of what had happened in Sanctuary. By the time I was done, we were both crying.
“There has to be hope,” she insisted, wiping her face dry. “That’s the one thing I learned while I was here, waiting for you. There has to be a way.”
“I know,” I replied, feeling the exhaustion of the last few days overwhelming me. But when I admitted as much to Sunny, she sucked in a breath.
“Birch, you haven’t been gone days. You’ve been gone for months.”
“How?” I wondered, but then I realized. Gavriel had carried me while I was asleep through the Abyss for all that time.
My heart melted a little more when I thought of how lonely he must have been.
How frightened. Then the chocolate in my hand melted down my arm and I had to hurry to lick it off before it stained Mikhail’s Hot Wings t-shirt.
“Holy shizz, this is amazing!” I mumbled.
“It’s the best chocolate I’ve ever tasted! ”
Sunny folded her legs under her. “Yeah, the chefs from Sanctuary really hit their stride when the soulfire pools welled up at the base of the cloud wall.”
I blinked. “That made no sense. What’s going on?”
“You know what? You kind of have to see it. Give me a second; while you were knocking boots with your harem, some of our friends put together a little gift for ya. Gav told us you were still shaky.” She put two fingers to her lips and blew a sharp whistle.
Before I knew what was happening, a group of High Angeli were racing toward us, carrying something.
“Is that a palanquin, birch?” I couldn’t believe it.
They had some sort of carrier rigged up, and they were dressed in what looked like gold lamé mini-togas.
I wholeheartedly approved of the style. “Where did you all get this stuff?” I asked, pushing myself to my feet, and trying not to show how much energy it took just to stand.
When they got close enough, I recognized one of the High Angeli as Truth.
The others were some of his naked octet, and we did a round of group hugs that had me too exhausted to stand, so it was a good thing we had the palanquin.
Truth helped me onto it, walking beside it while some of the others carried me and Sunny in the same direction Gavriel had gone, toward a long, seemingly never-ending cloud wall.
A barrier? It had to be the one between the Limen and the Celestial Realm.
The only other realm around us was the Abyss, and that was just void-colored.
“I know you probably can’t talk about it now,” Truth said quietly as he walked next to me. “But can you share what happened with us later?” He nodded to his octet members. “We’re trying to write a hymn cycle about the Great Redemption of Sanctuary.”
We’d gotten close enough to Gavriel for me to hear the High Angeli all around him.
He hadn’t made it to Precious, I could tell; the crowd was hemming him in.
Many of them were staring at his back with a mixture of awe and horror.
I heard more than one mutter, “Great Sacrifice,” and “true leader,” with their heads bowed.
I rolled my eyes. “Why bother telling what really went down? They probably won’t believe I had anything to do with it. They’ll say Gavriel was the only one who fought, or sacrificed. That Rumple, Revel, Arabella, and I were the supporting cast.”
Sunny cursed softly next to me. “Want me to cut a birch? It won’t hurt ‘em, but it might make you feel better.”
I laughed. “Nah, it’s okay. I’m used to it.”
When I looked back at Truth, though, he had a strange expression on his face.
“Feather, when Arabella redeemed us all and sent us home, she showed each one of us the whole story. In the moment where we were purified, she sent the knowledge to each of us, of how you were made and how she met you. Who you truly are, and who you became to save others. You were always Gavriel’s mate, and you were the only reason any of us survived—not just the shadow beasts, but Seraphiel’s rage, and the imbalance in their own souls. ”
The palanquin had stopped, and I swung my legs down. Gavriel turned to me, along with the dozens of High Angeli who were there, blocking the way to the edge of the cloud wall. But as soon as they saw me, every one of the Guides and Protectors I’d known before dropped to one knee, bowing.
Not to Gavriel. To me.
“Our Great Sacrifice,” the hushed voices were murmuring. “Feather, our true leader.”
Well, that was unexpected.
A slightly louder voice, one I’d kind of hoped never to hear again, caught my attention.
“Great Soul, you honor us with your presence,” Tradition called from somewhere in the crowd.
They stepped forward, smiling, and I saw they had gone completely bald.
When they came near enough to see clearly, they collapsed to the ground in a deep, full-bodied bow.
“Forgive me, Beautiful Sacrifice. I wronged you greatly in Sanctuary. I will dedicate my life to living into your example, Great Leader.”